I am trying to forget...?

Question

that I found condoms in his truck. I am trying to deal with the fact that as I am working on my self-esteem, but nothing seems to affect him, he is still not complimenting me. I am trying to be patient and hold on, but he is not making this easy!! I have lost quite a bit of weight, cut my hair and started wearing makeup again. I even got a compliment from a guy yesterday at work about how cute my hair is and how good I am looking. Why can't my husband say something? I know in the back of my mind I am doing all this to make myself feel better, but a compliment every now and then from my husband would be nice. What more can I do? Am I doing too much? Do I expect too much?

Answer 1

He has no respect for you or he wouldn't be cheating on you and you wouldn't have to try to get his attention. He is not into you the way you seem to be in to him. He is selfish and uncaring. Does he just take you for granted???? What did he say about the condoms or did you even confront him???? Find someone who can talk with who sees the positive things about you. And continue to work on the self-esteem. My husband cheated on me and it does destroy you, make you think What did I do wrong????? You haven't done anything wrong; he has. Remember that!!! Did you have issues with self-esteem before or has this just happened since the condom discovery??? Love yourself and be good to yourself. You deserve it.

Answer 2

I am in a similar situation. The problem is we psych ourselves up of what we expect from them and when it does not happen we are sooo disappointed. Some men do not give compliments or show little signs of things that they should. You cannot change that man, it is what it is....sorry I know that's probably what you didn't want to hear. Now you have to decide whether or not you want to continue with this relationship. Some women accept their mans behavior and live with it & some think they deserve better and move on. If he was like that when you met him then you can't expect much change.

Answer 3

It sounds like your husband is cheating on you and if it were me I would get a divorce from the man. You can and will do better. Even being by yourself is better than living with a man like that. I was married to a man for 25 year and I was miserable with him. Getting a compliment from him was very unusual. He could not compliment me that much but he always knew how to run me down. He also got another woman pregnant but at the time I did not care. She was nothing to me but a whore and she was also alot younger than him. I am now divorced because I was just fed up. I am now remarried and doing much better this time. You can and will do better for yourself. You deserve much better than what you are now married to.

Answer 4

NO!!!! You're not expecting too much. Don't worry about him complimenting you. Just know you feel better about yourself. Stop letting him pull you back down. Do you love this guy or are you just staying because you don't think anyone else will want you? If that's the reason, get out before you can't. He's not worth it, but you're life is.

Answer 5

Have you tried sitting down with him and letting him know how you feel about things? Maybe that would help. But the fact that you found condoms in this truck...I would want to know what was going. You need to talk to him and if he won't talk to you then I think that you might have to try to move on with your life and maybe if you are like me and want things to work so badly then you two can come to an agreement on somethings.

Good Luck Honey!

Answer 6

Condems in the truck....HM....

Here is a gut check on your self esteem....

You are now in control of your life. You have all the cards in your hand, and all the POWER. Don't wave your victim flag around on Yahoo and expect magic to happen. We really don't care that much.

If it were me, I would.....

1. Walk out to the truck, grab the condems and ask him very quietly what they are doing there....

2. Listen to his answer. And look him straight in the eye.

3. After listening to his lame excuse..walk away and don't speak with him for at least a week. Kick his butt out of the house if you like for awhile. You are in control of the situation.

4 NOW... Make a decision on what YOU WANT out of life!

4. Take your new hair, new attitude and new hot body and go do what you want. Sounds like you won't have trouble meeting someone better.... :-)

Bottom line....either fix your marriage or call an attorney.

Answer 7

You found condoms in his truck and he is not responding to the new attractive you?? Doesn't sound too faithful, but don't let your self esteem faulter it should be higher now that you have taken off weight. Others will look at you (they already are you said). I would confront him about the condoms in front of a therapist.

Answer 8

you may be expecting too much from him.If he is your goal then enjoy the compliments of others,nothing wrong with a girl looking her best.But please don't let his lack of attention lead you down a path of bad choices,a path of tears and regret. This man is your man and only you know if he's always been this way and you accepted this behavior or he just became this uninterested.This is your man and you know what will turn his head all you have to do is push the buttons in him that you want activated.Be beautiful while you work your magic on your own man without him even realizing you're working him.How can you not know what he likes deep down???Just like we plot on men to get what we want, we can plot on our husbands and make them give us what we want from them.The man may be the head.but we are the neck and without the neck the head is stuck in one position,unable to turn.Work that man he 's yours.

Answer 9

i don't want to sound mean, but if you found condoms in his truck that's not good. you don't deserve to be treated like that. find a way to leave and go. there's definitely someone better out there for you.

Answer 10

If the condoms werent used with YOU, you need to get rid of him. Some men are pigs and its not your fault. You can do better.