2007-05-01 01:15:39 · 38 answers · asked by babygirl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Only if the children are not watching their parents in an unhappy relationship. Are you still in love? Is there hope? Can you raise your children to love marriage, so when they get older they'll naturally know its meaning?
If you both are miserable and it shows, don't use your children to stay married. If you don't love eachother and you could honestly say that you don't want to spend the rest of your lives together and make eachother happy, then unfortunately you should get a divorce. Good Luck.
2007-05-01 01:39:04 · answer #1 · answered by Very Honest 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh gosh no. I am 22 yearls old, my parents are divorced and both remarried but I can tell you that I prefer it like this a million times.
I don't see how two people can stay together "for their children". You are only hurting them more without realizing it. First of all, I can't imagine how and why someone can stay with someone they have grown apart from, that they dont enjoy being around and cant stand sleeping with. This is not something kids need to see or go through. Yes the divorce would be hard on the, depending on kids' ages but, a few moments of heartache and pain are better than a lifetime of bad experiences. You are risking a pattern here. I dont think that's healthy for anyone. Kids need nurtuing, love, assurement, they shouldn't be living their days worrying about mommy and daddy fighting again. I answered a question right before this where the girl is wondering if running away would help keep her parents together. This girl should be worrying about high school and her school activities etc... I find that very sad. In her case her parents' issues just started and I understand that it happens at different age times but the sooner you deal with it the less effect it has on children.
My boyfriend's parents are divorced as well but they didnt do it until their kids were bigger. My boyfriend was molded to those bad experiences he lived throughout his younger years. The fighting, the anger, the problems.. alot of the issues were economic and so now he hates being cheap (which isn't so bad) but when you get to know the reasons behind that, you really wish things would have been different.
Women often stay with their partner's as well because of economic issues. That to me is absurd. They are practically selling themselves. That's another issue.. but no I dont believe you should stay with your husband just for your kids.
2007-05-01 01:35:13 · answer #2 · answered by morozco5 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually this question to me implys that someone is having an affair which is sad and that right there already makes me think that someone didn't really care about the kids feelings to begin with. Staying married for the kids is a big reason but shouldn't be the only reason. The kids did deserve to have the best by having both parents raise them in the same home but if someone is cheating, disrespecting their spouse and basically betraying the family; then I guess divorce is inevitable and everyone will have to make the best of not the best situation.
2007-05-01 02:33:28 · answer #3 · answered by Tgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It all depends on the status of your marriage. If you are constantly at each others throats and the kids see this, then no, it's not in the best interest of the kids to stay married. If you are unhappy and miserable, that is not a good situation for the kids as well because you cannot be the best parent when you are unhappy.
If the situation is that your spouse has little things that bug you but overall, you still love that person, then stay married.
2007-05-01 01:21:15 · answer #4 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, the kids are very important in the family. They need a good family atmosphere to grow happy and healthy , both mentally and physically. If the parents can't get along and stay married than the kids will suffer and that will filter down to the grand kids and so on. If you leave the marriage they will say I'm glad mom got the courage to leave him and find a man to love all of us , Or will say why didn't she leave him , didn't she love us enough or have any self respect to make her life right. I say a bad marriage is bad on the kids . Choose a better partner next time!
2007-05-01 01:32:03 · answer #5 · answered by dan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you at least still like your spouse, even if you aren't in love, and you get along good, then by all means stay together until the children are grown and then move on with your lives. It would be doing them a huge service. If you have a rocky relationship, with fighting all the time, then end it and be mature adults about it. Don't put them in the middle of your war. It's better to be divorced if all you do is fight and cut each other down. Kids need stability, and it's better to have separated parents and have it over with, than to worry about it all the time and have stress from watching your parents tear each other apart. But If you get along good and still have some sort of friendship and you want to stay together until the kids are grown, I see nothing wrong with doing that.
2007-05-01 01:25:52 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one forced you to get married. If you then had kids I think you have undertaken a responsibility to see things through. Kids very much want their parents to be together, and are ripped apart when mum and dad break up. It is a primal thing. Having said that I dont think abuse of one spouse by the other should be tolerated. In this case I would attempt every step to remedy the situation, and it that didnt work, remove myself and my kids from the home, but leave the door open for genuine behaviour change leading to reconciliation.
2007-05-01 01:24:59 · answer #7 · answered by pete the pirate 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not good to stay married to someone just for the children especially if the marriage is that of yelling, name calling, abuse and so forth. Your children will have a much healthier life and be under less stress. In the end, children love both parents despite of what has happened in the marriage.
The best thing to always do is to not bad mouth the other parent. Remember you are the one with the issues with the other person, not the children as they didn't ask to come into this world nor did they pick their parent.
2007-05-01 01:22:14 · answer #8 · answered by Patty G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on how bad the marriage is. If you can get along reasonably well without a lot of knock-down-drag-out fights, bickering, or cutting each other down then it's probably better for the kids if you stay married.
However, if you're constantly at each other's throats, fighting, yelling, calling each other names, and truly hate each other and can't get along at all...divorce is probably better.
Divorce is really hard on the kids, but so is living every single day in a completely miserable home.
Only you can decide which situation is more like your personal situation.
2007-05-01 02:01:28 · answer #9 · answered by biiiiaaach 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. It's not fair to your children or yourselves. Your kids will know, because kids know these things and you'll probably end up showing resentment towards them. They'll grow up in an unhappy household and probably will become unhappy themselves. If you can be civil in divorce and in taking care of your children, studies have shown that children of divorced homes are better off than children of parents who were just staying together for the kids.
2007-05-01 01:19:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋