He promises to attend sex addiction (church) self help group centered around the beatitudes (biblical growth) regular church attendance and also joint counceling with a geiuine Doctor physocogist. He says he loves me and wrote back to the porn star and said how he has hurt me and he was sorry and no longer will he be contacting her. Has gone to one meeting, self help, and is going to try an extra night self help this week, says it is not so much for me but for him, he is sick and is afraid he will do it again, does not trust himself. My question is, does he feel torn between this one favoriate porn queen and me or does he have mixed messages of love and why does he want to stay with me instead of her as he projects but shares how young beautiful and fun she can be, may even have almost the same package as me. Is he truly a total looser and should I stay or should I go now is my burning question? I am so fearful he will not go forward because he has been at this sinful addiction.
2007-05-01 00:12:09 · 10 answers · asked by siremma 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
How can someone be addicted to porn?? That is a huge load of bullshit!!! People can be addicted to crack, booze, smoking....but masturbation??? He does not have a porn problem, he has a honoring his vows problem. Not to mention how selfish and pardon the pun selfserving he is. If you cannot trust him and he cannot trust his self, what choice do you really have?? Personally, I would rather have a mate who only has eyes for me. If I were in your shoes, I would divorce him and laugh all the way to the bank.
2007-05-01 00:25:21 · answer #1 · answered by treasuredwife69 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋
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2016-05-16 06:59:50 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you can decide whether or not you want to stay and work on the relationship. It sounds like he is at least giving the right lip service. He is talking the talk but, will he walk the walk? If everyone had the same answer Bronze had, no one would ever get married or stay married. I can attest to the fact that both men and women cheat and both men and women can change. I know several people who made ammends for straying and after regaining the trust in the relationship, lived happily ever after (as the story goes) it isn't easy but, it has a tendancy to make a marriage stronger provided there is healing and closure on the issue. While you may not ever forget what has happened, to forgive him, requires that you leave it in the past.
2007-05-01 01:35:54 · answer #3 · answered by dadof7n2001 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It actually sounds like he is taking some real steps to get rid of this "addiction". It is up to you whether you stick with him or not. I might suggest that you give it a chance if for no other reason than to help him right now. If you leave in the midst of him seeking help, he is much more likely to revert.
As to your relationship, I think you just have to really think about what you can accept and what you can not. Is the trust gone completely? Is there no way of him getting it back? Are you ever going to be able to be happy with him?
It's tough for us to answer these things. I will say that his approach sounds genuine and right though, and that's the FIRST time I've ever said that about this topic in Answers.
2007-05-01 00:19:18 · answer #4 · answered by btpage0630 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ought to you or shouldn't you?? i could not inform you what to do yet i will provide you with some suggestion on what if? in case you stay there's a situations that he might want to provide up connecting to that woman on internet (porn internet web site) through eliminating the computer and under no circumstances contact it anymore or for a lengthy time period. to bypass to church and cleanse himself will be demanding because if his judgment of perfect and incorrect isn't keen not something will ensue. yet when he is going to confirm a sex councilor this may help him little at a time,and mutually with your training and help he can beat this. dishonest is an wide-spread reality to maximum married adult males,no matter if we adore it or not. it would not be counted if he receives it from homestead or not besides the indisputable fact that it will be their reason,why? in case you go away him because your bored stiff with him and no believe is there anymore, then he gained't care about getting some help because he will imagine that his not harming absolutely everyone. And for you now to not be there on his side will be his solid reason to persevered dealing with this porn woman. All that he could have is his delight even as paying this woman. This are dissimilar the reason in case you confirm to stay or bypass. I favor you all the success reason i comprehend how you sense as a spouse....
2016-12-05 04:02:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think males and females are very different when it comes to attraction to the opposite sex.
I think males feel sexual attraction to a female as a totally separate thing to the emotion of love - while a female sees sex and love as being the same thing. If a man feels strong sexual attraction to a woman other than his partner I think that is something he has no control over and should not be considered at fault. If however he acts on the feeling by having a sexual affair behind his partners back, that is a very different thing - that is betrayal, that is dishonest. My point is - depending on the facts of what is going on - dont overreact. If your husband is finding a sexual outlet in internet porn, that is a pity, but I think it is far less serious than an actual physical affair. He might not be perfect - are you perfect? It sounds like he has mixed feelings inside. One part addiction, one part desire to be freed from it. Can you help him to get free? Can you, or you and your pastor, talk to the side of him that wants to overcome his addiction, and agree on actions that might help? Remove temptation by removing access to the internet? Can you help him by being available to him sexually? It sounds terrible in this age of 'womans rights' to say that, but I do note that the bible does advise partners in marraige to submit themselves to the other in this regard.
2007-05-01 00:34:52 · answer #6 · answered by pete the pirate 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's certainly not a loser. He's just imbibing in his sexual fantasies through his contact with her.
Obviously there's still hope for him as he's not actually met with that woman and had any physical contact with her. Plus, he's admitted to you that he feels guilty about his behavior.
I think you both should go to marriage and sex counselling. It will help you sort out your true feelings for each other and hopefully spice up your sex life. But be prepared, you may have to loosen up a little in the bedroom.
2007-05-01 00:29:15 · answer #7 · answered by Patricia S 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You may not like his behavior but it does not constitute adultery.
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a·dul·ter·y / Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[uh-duhl-tuh-ree] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–noun, plural -ter·ies. voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other than his or her lawful spouse.
2007-05-01 00:16:52 · answer #8 · answered by AZ123 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Screw the church and join the fun.
2007-05-01 00:16:53 · answer #9 · answered by Roasted Kiwi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
is he having sex with those women? then you need to get rid of him, because he will continue to whether he goes to therapy or not... once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater
2007-05-01 00:15:07 · answer #10 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋