my daughter is now 9 months i have kept her father updated on her progress by text messages but he never responds, should i give up on him? he has other children that i have seen him crying over because he cannot see them cause he doesnt know where they our i cant understand why he would not take up this opportunity, i dont know where he is now but i know he is recieving my texts and that his number is correct i am heart broken for my daughter as one day i am going to have to tell her that i dont know where her dad is and that he doesnt seem to care about her should i continue to text him and tell him about her? she is just like him or should i give up he knows my number and where i live so should i now leave it up to him?? advise please i only want to do the right thing
2007-04-30 23:30:26 · 25 answers · asked by Emma H 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Your better off without this low life scum honey. You have done everything you can to keep him informed of his daughters progress and he isn't bothered. wait for him to contact you....
Go and find someone nice who will love you and your daughter like you deserve x
2007-04-30 23:34:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
i reckon no. You have been trying and he hasnt even had the courtesy to indicate anything to you. Now it is costing you money and pain every time you send a message - waiting for a reply that is not coming. Perhaps if you dont write, he will come to a realisation that he does want to know her progress and be a part of her life - or he may not.
I suggest that if you feel you want to send another message wait until she is one - that is a significant milestone eg walking and make it clear that if you dont get a response then it will be your last. Or if that is too final/dramatic for you -how about indicating that as you are not sure of his intentions /or even if he has received the messages that you will send a txt/picture message once a year (?) until you decide otherwise.
Your daughter will be happiest with you, who is there for her and loves her unconditionally. Perhaps it will be more pain if he comes into her life without the commitment and disappears again.
2007-05-01 06:43:09 · answer #2 · answered by boohndave 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this man obviously doesnt want to know, he is avoiding any contact with you and your child, i think you should stop being nice and trying to get him to see his daughter, the next step would be to contact the child support agency and at least get him to pay something towards his daughters upbringing, if he was at all bothered i am pretty sure nine months is long enough in anyones book and from what you say he has had more than enough chances to either see or contact you or her, dont leave it up to him or he is just another absent father that the rest of us will have to carry through life while he just doesnt give a toss and produces more and more kids for you poor single mothers to have to cope with and bring up alone, i know a single mother can be just as good as 2 parents but a man who produces kids and then doesnt bother with them isnt worth the time of day i could be more specific but it wouldnt be suitable for people to read (way to nasty)
2007-05-01 08:22:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a fool he is, you have done everything you can I would suggest that you move forward in your life and make it a happy one for you and your daughter rather than this ruin your happy times with your little girl. Text her dad from time to time like every other month just to keep lines of communication open from your side.
I was bought up by my Mum alone, she told me about dad once I was old enough to fully understand the situation but never did she say a bad word against him which I respected her for.
Wishing you and your little girl all the happiness your life journey will bring enjoy each other
x
2007-05-01 07:10:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My son is 15 and I had the same problem, i tried letting his dad know about him until my son was 3 years old, Don,t bother he,s not interested and your daughter is better off with out him, i gave enough love to my son and brought him up the way I wanted to, he his now a lovely, caring, considerate lad who I am so proud of. your daughters dad is going to miss out on so much but that's his fault don,t give him the time of day. when mt son was 6, I went on to meet a man who took my son on and although he is not the biological father his the best dad in the world and worth 10 of my sons real father. I did not tell my son who his real father was until a couple of years ago and my son did get to see him once which was good because he made his own mind up then and could see what his dad was like. When it does come to telling her please don,t say her dad don,t care about her just say that he could not be there for her and if she wants to track him down let her if he is no good she will see for her self that it was his doing and not yours, I wish you and your daughter well for the future the best of luck its not going to be easy but at least you have each other. Its his loss!
2007-05-01 07:00:38 · answer #5 · answered by caz 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some times when it comes to easy people take it for granted, it should never be like that with children but unfortunately it sometimes is. You sound as if you are trying hard to be nice. I think you should text him and tell him that he will never hear from you again, and don't text him. If he wants to know his daughter he should make the effort. I am sure that your daughter will understand. All the best, and who knows one day their may be someone who wants to take her on as his own.
2007-05-01 06:50:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have done the right thing! You have persevered more than most. Don't be too upset about your daughter she is still very young. Your life is ahead of you. Who knows who you might love and meet. A Dad is someone who cares too. It is a two way street. You have given him every opportunity to respond. It is his loss. You have the blessing of your beautiful baby. Go out meet other mums. Life continues on. My daughter's father ruined it for himself and now wonders why he hasn't got a relationship with her.
Good luck your life will turn around for good you see.
2007-05-01 06:38:41 · answer #7 · answered by Angel_Daisy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
keep trying for your child's sake also he may not be getting your text but whatever you decide to do remember you have to tell your daughter in the end also he may be scared to get involved as by the sound of it he has lost children already and the pain may be too much I'm not trying to make excuses for him but give him a chance tell him via text that he has so long you don't intend to take his rights away once he starts to see his daughter and that he is missing out on the most important part of her life look what he has missed out on with is other kids .you are getting all the advice to stuff him get on with your life okay maybe so but your child will want to know her dad why he isnt about and why you didnt let him see her i know it is 9 months but still no amount of time should matter to you its your daughter that counts keep the lines open for her sake he will come around even if he has some one else thats not your concern its your daughter thats your concern please do all you can to keep him in the picture then your daughter will respect you for doing all you could when she is old enough to understand i blaimed my mum for my dad not seeing me as she closed the doors on comunication and that realy tore me up later on in life i found my dad later on and he told me he did want to see me but by the time he was able to cope with it all it was too late he could not find me i know how it feels so do the right thing GOOD LUCK LOVE MY THOUGHTS ARE WITH YOU...
2007-05-01 06:58:16 · answer #8 · answered by Ricky S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Theres no shame in being a single parent - maybe he is going through a difficult patch but so are you.
Was it crocodile tears for his other children ?? Is he with another woman now repeating this act ??? We dont know do we - so my advise is you've tried to keep him informed and he has failed both of you. like you say he know how to contact you so get on with your life make the most of your daughter and do your best not to fail her.
her dad is the biggest loser in whatever his circumstances i am assuming he like making babies but dont like to keep up the maintenance i feel you are well rid of him (if this is the only reason he isnt at home with you helping with the bottles and nappies)
Keep well and keep your chin up you have my best wishes hope you have plenty of support from friends and family its not easy.
2007-05-01 06:53:08 · answer #9 · answered by jolly dolly 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would text him with a message that You are willing to update him but he needs to respond back. Let him know that if he fails to respond to that text message that there will be no further updates. Give him a reasonable amount of time, like a week-MAKE SURE to tell him how much time he has to respond back. If he doesn't respond, it is safe to assume that he is not interested and you should simply move on.
2007-05-01 06:41:37 · answer #10 · answered by eener_712 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
oh you poor luv...this must be really hard for you...my guess is that he's just not interested any more....he is not returning your texts so if i were you i would stop now because it's a complete waste of time...if he was bothered he would be there for you and your daughter...seems that he's done with the baby making now and not prepared to be a responsible dad....he's a waste of space hun....forget him...you have something so precious who you can hug and love every day....look what he's missing out on....it's his loss hun....quit texting him and concentrate on your life with your lovely little girl...send him one last message stating that this will be the very last time you text if he does not respond...stick to your word....if he does not answer then call it a day...you have tried your best and you have given him the oppotunity to come see his little girl on many occasions....but he chooses not to so it's his loss.....
2007-05-01 06:49:48 · answer #11 · answered by Dazzlebox 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋