I'd like to encourage her to leave her husband but she's scared to do it because he's already said he'll kill her. I know he owns a gun and I think he'd really do it. But I'm really worried that my grandchildren will grow up in this environment--the boy will think it's okay to abuse women and the girl will think it's normal to have a husband who yells at her and hits her. What would you do?
2007-04-30 22:10:48 · 12 answers · asked by ? 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Bullys are usually cowards. I'd call his bluff. Leave him and get help.
Cheers :-)
2007-04-30 22:13:20 · answer #1 · answered by chekeir 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My ex was a controll freak after my daughter was born Before that he was a great guy when my son was born he got worse I picked up my 14 month old daughter and 3 week old son and left I looked over my shoulder for the first year because he saide he would kill me if I left My children are now 27 and 28 I do not regret my descion I think he would have killed us in one of his rages and then felt bad after I could not take that chance We survived and both children serve there country proudly I chose to live rather than to live in fear and intimidation
2007-04-30 22:23:55 · answer #2 · answered by chameleon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would encourage your step daughter to leave and seek proper help from the proper authorities, let her know that while it may be difficult you're there to support her,
My sister left the father of her child after years of terrible abuse now she's in a different area but happy and getting on with her life and my nephew is growing up in a happier safer environment
good luck :)
2007-04-30 22:14:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
get restraining order and have daughter move home, report it because it will not get done by it's self, and be sure to report the gun so officers do not run into unneeded troubles, another if your daughter knows where the gun is have police pick it up over the same dangers, yes the children do follow foot steps and get the child to visit you, child protective services would also help you, their is hot lines in your town 24 hours a day, do not wait just go do it.
2007-04-30 22:21:20 · answer #4 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The truth of the matter is that you just have to support her and keep reassuring her that you'll help her when she leaves. She won't leave until she's ready too. It's horrible, it isn't fair but she'll do it when she's tired of it. If you push it too much she will feel like she can't come to you when the times right. When you spend time with the kids tell them that whats going on at home isn't right and that and that their dad needs help, he's a good man but is just sick. You will have to bite your lip, but it's best for the kids to know he's sick, not bad.
2007-04-30 22:18:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
what a horrible situation.
im not sure where you live. but they do have battered women and children shelters (in america and i would assume other countries)
these shelters are 'hidden' so the husband wont be able to find them.
im sure there are government programs that would be able to help her change her name - counseling etc.
if she was willing to leave him i may look into notifying the police so that she will be sure to be safe when she leaves.
she, and her children, are very lucky to have you looking out for her. i think the best thing is to let her know that there is always a choice - in EVERY situation - and to let her know that you will always be there.
good luck...im sorry that you (and them) have to be put through this.
2007-04-30 22:18:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it depends?on what state you live in? because in michigan you cant record an others voice without permission,but if you can talk with the state police with your stepdaughter and tell the police what he said,they could put a wire on her and if she can get him to say it again? it will get him 20 to life in prison and he will never be able to get near your daughter and grand kids again,or get 3 people (not related) to hear him state that to them and it would be conspiracy to commit murder,which is 20 years in federal prison
2007-04-30 23:39:04 · answer #7 · answered by fcknwhtguy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Contact a shelfter for battered women. I'd chose one OUT of your area. Ask them for help. They are experts in this particular area. She will need to hide where she can be protected for a while. I'd suggest she even consider going out of state.
2007-04-30 22:14:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
SEE THIS SITUATION NEEDS TO INVOLVE A LOT OF POLICE AND RELOCATION. IF SHE DOESN'T SNAP AND GET HIM FIRST! DID THAT COME TO MIND. GET IN WRITING OR GET HER TO FIND A WAY TO RECORD HIS ABUSE AND GO TO THE POLICE WHERE YOU ARE. DON'T STAND BY AND LET HIM KILL HER. TRY EVERY OPTION. THERE IS A PRELUDE TO MURDER. SHE NEEDS TO TAKE BACK CONTROL. THE ABUSER WILL KEEP ON DOING IT. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE KILLS MORE MOTHERS AND DESTROYS MORE FAMILIES THEN PEOPLE THINK. WHAT WILL YOU DO ABOUT IT AND WHAT HAVE YOU TRIED TO DO? TRY TRY TRY
2007-04-30 22:19:31 · answer #9 · answered by roughdelicate 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to the police, file a restraining order, get a divorce, move far away.
Unfortunately, in this case, she seems to be stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Best of luck to you and to her.
2007-04-30 22:15:21 · answer #10 · answered by Ruby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I 100% agree with ur two major fears not to forget the threat to ur daughter. You need to talk privately with the cops.....and tell them about the whole situation..and get ur daugter out of thre n ur grand children...if god forbid something happens u will never be able to forgive urself best of luk..prayers ur way,
2007-04-30 22:45:32 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋