Why is my husband not affectionate anymore???

Question

We've been together for 6 years and married for about 6 months! and it seems like he doesn't wanna kiss me the same way anymore, or hold me like he used to!!! is he done with me all ready???

I asked him a few months back why he can't just throw me aginst a wall and kiss me like he use to and he said "because we were kids then, and adults don't do that!" also he says french kissing is for the bedroom and not just because!" is he right??? Im not a PDA kida girl but a little hee and theres okay right???

Answer 1

I've heard of this problem with men, after their wives have their first baby. It's as if their wife is holy or something and
can no longer be touched. But in your case, he's got another
problem obviously. He needs to relax and you will have to
rekindle the flame that was once there. I've been married to
the same man for my entire life, and at the age of 62, I can
tell you that sometimes, sex has to be worked at, because
sometimes it can be boring, for one or the other.
I have gone the sexy nightie thing many times, the sex toys
for many years and learned how to give oral sex to where
the guy whimpers when I stop. A man likes a lady to accom-
pany him to parties, but wants a whore in bed. And sometimes you have to learn to act like and be a whore. Try to be the aggressor. Try to make a slow effort in raping him.
Unbutton his shirt or whatever roughly, showing you can't wait to get it off of him. Then strip him if he's not relenting. Lead him to the couch, bed or what have you. Even the kitchen table. You can always move to the bed later. Kiss him all over his chest, and work your way around. Have something you can smear on and lick off. Not too lightly as to tickle tho. Well this is just the beginning. Now you can use your imagination to experimenting new ways for foreplay.
Renting sex tapes with an actual story plot would be something to maybe titalate his senses. Especially if they are keyed to a sensual wish he might have. Like two women on him or something even more extreme. Learn what he dreams about as far as sexual fantasies, and then try to give it to him. I could tell you some things about wives I have known and to what degree they went to keep their husbands interested. Me included. If your man is worth keeping, then he's worth enticing too. And if he doesn't respond to your new wicked, wicked ways, then I'd see a counselor. Life will be flying by before you know it, and you'll find yourself a bitter old woman with no children, no sex and no life (unless you devote your time to a career, and some do). I wish you luck and I hope your husband loves you enough to work out the kinks.

Answer 2

my husband and i were together 5 years before we were married and now we have been married two years. WE went through this same thing! I remember thinking, OMG this is supposed to be the sexiest time of our marriage! We are newlyweds!!!" Didnt happen that way though. For us, we were going through so much stress of being married and having a home and the stress of being husband and wife and trying to figure out were we fit and how to manage a house! It was so much. We also lost touch of each other. SO, here is what i recommend, sit down and talk to your husband, figure out a way to work on things TOGETHER. Tell him u want to feel special and you want some passion and fire. As far as the adults dont do that HAHAHAHA, go watch some elderly couples, man some of them have the most passion i have ever soon. Its good to be an adult but we cant be up tight all the time.

Don't worry, that passion will find its way back! You may be the one to have to take the first step though. Surprise him when he comes home with a bed room full of candles or maybe but a sexy little outfit or leave him a sensual email. Sometimes woman just have to make the first move.

Good luck!!

Answer 3

LOl it's good to hear that someone else has this problem, though my husband has never kissed or held hands or even hugged or put his arm around me in public. We used to have great sex all the time. Then we got married. 6 months later all changed. I could give you all the possible reasons why but none would be correct. For some reason your husband has got it in his head that these things are for the bedroom. He may feel that being married is the same as being grown up and maybe never ever saw his parents kiss or do anything outside the bedroom (not sex of course but just normal lovey dovey stuff) that is what I think my husband thinks. He is not done with you already. I might suggest that you say no to sex for a while and then suddenly do something he likes in the bedroom (go down on him maybe) or just turn him on it might just drive him crazy and he will enjoy it. It's just a suggestion and I hope it works for you.

Answer 4

wow, some of these answers are brutal. I am in the same boat, kinda. I've been with my guy for 4 years and we are getting married in less than 60 days and he doesn't really try anything anymore. I always have to take the time to say hey "lets go" I think its because for the first three years he was the aggressive one and I just kind of went with it. He might be bored with some things...step up and take control!!! That's my motive and he loves it! BUY TOYS!!! ;-) See how that goes.

Answer 5

I would talk to him. I know that its easier said than done. Guys hate feeling like there interrogated or explaining how they feel about such things. Besides, i wouldn't jump to conclusions that he is cheating on you, unless you suspect it. Hes probably getting use to being married and besides, did you pressure him into the marriage? make him feel like"well this is it... i guess shes done her time and i don't want to loose her?!"

Also, it doesn't take a lot for guys to get stressed and feel bothered or pressured into doing things like sex, cuddling, and making out. Just be casual about it, maybe you can throw him into the wall for a change. Try spicing things up... Don't make such a big deal about it.

Also, maybe he was taught that after you get married, you don't act like that anymore... look at his parents see how affectionate they are... He could be getting that from being raised that way. Try new things, and communicate with him. Meet in the middle... if he doesn't want to passionately throw you into the wall, or hug you all the time, then maybe every so often you could kiss him like that or ask if you could cuddle with him while watching a movie and get the ball rolling. Then DON'T complain about him not doing it. Compliment him on the things he does right and the things you like,... Focus on the positive, not the negative :)

Answer 6

Is it just a sudden change or has it been like this all along & you chose to ignore it? This is a bizzare reaction for a guy. Om God intended sex & love to be a good thing. I dont care how old you are your never too old. If it is Good for both partners its OK. There seems to be missing information here, is he having an affair? Ask him to seek counsling with You. He may not even know/understand what he is going through. Communication is very important. Ask questions!! Maybe it is something simple he is affraid to tell you, cause he doesnt want to hurt your feelings, like you have bad breath!

Answer 7

ur not the only one. its like they just stop!! okay were married no need to to seem crazy over ech other or wild in love. the only genuine touching we do seems to be in the bedrm..Everyone says marriage changes you but i didnt think affectionate wise!!! atleast ur husband says something my says, no... thats it. just nooo. I dont want to take no for an answer but what do u do, throw urself on something thats not catching!! i feel u. Its like there was no " use to " in there mind. You always hear of marriages growing a bore so im all about fun, touchin & lovin but im givin and its not being taken oh except in the bdrm and thats when he wants to it seems. I tell u nothings like it use to be.... I dont think there done with us but dont believe much effort is needed now. So ive just proceeded to say, well if u dont ,i know alot of guys who would and its not like im not bringing sexy bk since the first day of marriage!!! go figure.. im with u.. whats there deal????

Answer 8

You need to straight up talk to him about it. Don't let it fester until you can't stand it any more and fall out of love with him. You need to know where you stand with him in his heart at all times. If he is starting to feel like he has made a mistake by marrying you then it needs to be out in the open now. Don't wait till you have kids then realize you and he are not as in love as you thought you were. I don't mean to be mean but if he is not paying you the attention that he was when he married you this early on then there could be a problem with him that needs to be addressed now. At this point you should be going at it like rabbits.

Answer 9

I really think it has something to do with getting married. Its like when a man gets married he doesn't really have to try to "woo" you anymore. He has you he doesn't have to impress you with sweet gestures anymore. Its more relaxed. I went through the same thing when I got married. It will pass with time....trust me you just need to tell him how it makes you feel. My husband did a 360 when we got married. I felt like he wasn't that interested in me anymore but thats not the case. Its marriage....trust me....I know it sounds crazy.

Answer 10

Time for some serious counseling. It almost sounds like he may be gay - and I don't mean that to be derogatory, but lack of sexual response, and unwillingness to kiss especially - well, from personal experience, these would represent warning signs to me. Don't go jumping to conclusions based on my experience though - get your butts in counseling and start hashing out your feelings for each other!