Please help! I don't want to be hurt emotionally or hurt anyone else emotionally anymore. I really need some advice on conflict resoulution that works. Thanks
2007-04-30 17:30:27 · 6 answers · asked by hoodwink 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
When our three kids were all at home, conflict was almost a daily thing. When someone blew up at anyone our solution was a family meeting right after dinner. Everyone had their turn to express a complaint, then we all put our ideas in to settle on a solution. The only rule we had was there could be no negative answers, only positive ideas that would lead to a solution. This worked for two reasons. 1. The kids hated being pinned down for a family meeting, and missing valuable social and TV time. 2. They had to listen to others list their complaints and not be allowed to retaliate. Takes some practice to keep everyones tempers under control, but they eventually figured out that we were just going to preach and bore them allot longer if they didn't follow the meetings rules. It wasn't too long before the kids staretd quielty working things out themselves, rather than getting us involved. The house became peaceful again, and our meetings only had to be held a very few times a year. It was great. Now they all laugh at the torture they had to endure for those hours of "meetings". They plan on doing the same things with their kids!
2007-04-30 17:48:04 · answer #1 · answered by debijs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
...In my house, when someone is whining or complaining about something, I take them aside- & say, "All right; I'm NOT interested in the excuses. I want to know what the REAL problem is here..." 9 times out of 10- it has NOTHING to do with what all the complaining was about- but about some underlying issue that needed looking into. LISTENING CLOSELY- is very important in this process; & so is withholding judgement until all the facts are in. This can be painstaking & time consuming- But it shows the other family members that you're making a good-faith effort to resolve their problem- and that it can be resolved once & for all (or at least "agreed to disagree") by both sides. If no "resolution" is possible just then, then agree to "suspend" the argument (AND the unhappiness regarding it)- until a time in the near future when it can be better addressed. Much more often than not- this "approach" really works well for me. Good luck!
2007-05-01 00:54:07 · answer #2 · answered by Joseph, II 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make sure you let each person have a turn saying how they feel without talking back. Brainstorm together how you can resolve the problem and put it in writing and agree to try it for a week or two. If that doesn't work then try another idea on your list until you find what works. Only work on one issue at a time. Everyone deserves to be listened to without being put down for their ideas or interrupted.
2007-05-01 00:35:35 · answer #3 · answered by calibombshell 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you can be more specific.
Problem solving is complicated and depends on the family and the problem(s).
Generally speaking, you need to establish a trusting and loving relationship base, then everyone feels safe to work out their problems without fear of damage to the relationship. If it is and adult to kid issue and you are the adult then you need to be the most analytical, patient, and adaptable in the problem solving. If its adult to adult - frankly success has to do with the maturity and insight of the adults involved.
2007-05-01 00:39:36 · answer #4 · answered by Roxanne 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The phrase "Hey thanks....I'll get to that tomorrow....." followed by simply moving away from the other and into another room, foucsing on tuning them out....normally works for me.
2007-05-01 00:33:58 · answer #5 · answered by Mr. Wizard 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
therapy groups that are going thru what you are, someone who is`nt involved that has been thru that, need to find an out for yourself.
2007-05-01 00:33:53 · answer #6 · answered by white_yosemite 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋