My husband neglected me for 10 months on and off. I'm now to the point where I'm past hurt and I'm sick and tired of it. I brought it to his attention several times, he always promises to change but doesn't. Then he finally tells me that he doesn't have to take care of my needs that I can't afford because I am grown. Now that I want to leave, he gets my name tattooed on his arm and is going around crying and begging me back. I feel bad that he feels this way but I need to leave because I can see through his begging. He may truly be hurt but I know for a fact that he is not going to change. How can I help him get over me?
2007-04-30 16:20:39 · 10 answers · asked by eyekhandhi 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You can't, plus it is not your place to have to help him. He chose this also, by ignoring you for all those months. It is always best just to make a clean break and allow the other one to get on with their life.
2007-04-30 16:25:58 · answer #1 · answered by Krinta 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best help to give him is not to talk to him or give him attention--if you are over this you are over. Every time you give him attention draws him back in for the hope you will change your mind. I know it is hard as you still care for him--tough love--ya know? No one changes--he is him--you are you if you don't get along move on--I am going through the same thing--my needs are not met and he feels they don't matter--just his do. I try to tell him that we need to try to fulfill each others needs as they come up not this for that--no check marks on who did what for whom. You have a controlling man as I did and just leave him alone and don't get jealous and text or call like I do as I still love him--lol--very hard to break things off but do it. Imagine the great guy you will meet after--may take awhile to meet him but you have the rest of your life to be happy--time goes by fast :)
2007-04-30 16:35:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, give it up!!!! I have been trying for years and finally I just decided that it is true....they don't know what they have until it is gone....then it is tooo late.
You cannot get those loving feelings back and chances are he knows he is never going to find a woman like he once had.
Answer is, you can't and after 7 years I just realized that. I tried to keep it on the D L if I dated anyone so I would not hurt him, etc. etc. and finally gave up and started living again....I don't have to hide anything and try to make his hurt go away. I feel for him because I have been there (he put me there for a long time).
So I feel empathy but he will have to grow up, be strong and change from it like I did.
Unfortunatley, they don't realize the ones who hold them up, are the ones they need the most....US....
After 7 years of divorce, he still tries to get with me occasionally, and I do not love him like that anymore. I feel sorry for him....he still leaves loves songs on my voicemail,etc. I just delete them and go on....just gotta let him deal with it when he is ready....
Work on YOU not HIM anymore....:) Good luck girl, remember we cannot fix everything and everyone.
2007-04-30 16:41:15 · answer #3 · answered by Angel girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best way of helping him is by not helping him basically not doing anything. He needs to learn this on is own... he needs to get over it and realizes it on his own. This is why your leaving him right? Because he doesn't get it. And he really won't until he sees how serious you are by leaving him alone.
If you've really loved him at one point and you care about him and yourself. Since you decided to leave him.
Leave him and let it be. It's all for the better in the long run.
I know it's easier said than done... but try it. Keep your mind on other things... =) Good luck!
2007-04-30 16:30:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't. Eye opener is that he is not truly hurt contrary to your empathetic belief. You are right he will not change. Do not waste your empathy on him, he has no concept of this anyway. The tattoo is a form of manipulation and don't fall into that game.
2007-04-30 16:30:45 · answer #5 · answered by Healthy Lifestyle Geek 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U can't help him. He has 2 help himself. If u go back, more than likely he will go back 2 the way he was. Let him go & don't look back. Good luck!
2007-04-30 16:30:49 · answer #6 · answered by Just me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to leave him alone. If you keep calling, he will still think there is a chance for you two to get back together. It will give him false hope.
2007-04-30 16:24:23 · answer #7 · answered by crash27_m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont help him do squat... go ahead and make your plan for having a life for yourself.when those papers are in your hand, read what it says...that union is as if it never happened. u are two seperate ppl....celebrate!
2007-04-30 17:18:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You had to get over him your own way, and it's up to him to get over you.
2007-04-30 16:28:06 · answer #9 · answered by Ella 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Walk away.
2007-04-30 16:28:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋