and why does it hurt so much when it happens?
2007-04-30 15:59:11 · 11 answers · asked by melon_rose 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
The fear of rejection comes from the fear of being alone. We are most afraid of being alone with no one to help us, or care for us. In fact, I think that is one of the things the world wants us to know. If we can't find someone, our fears increase, and our actions become erratic and don't make sense. The killers who shoot groups of people they don't even know is an example.
If we have people in our lives who are close to us, having them leave us will naturally start up the fears again. We have been with people and unless we know the reason why they left, we believe we are being rejected because of our character or of who we really are. We are being completely rejected and we know it's our fault, but what was the fault? This brings on the deep fears and even deeper feelings of being alone again, and it may last forever. That's enough fear for anyone. The worst of this fear is a loss by death of someone close to you.
2007-04-30 16:18:05 · answer #1 · answered by PAT 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that it has to do with a biological desire to mate with an attractive person. That rejection means that a potential mate doesn't find us attractive, and this is a letdown. I think that this emotional pain is undesireable by the body, and we therefore do not wish to desire it.
It will not always be like this. I am now 31 and I do not fear rejection as deeply as I used to. This is largely because when we are young we have so few experiences that there is an accompanying fear that you will never find another mate that is attractive.
2007-04-30 23:12:40 · answer #2 · answered by Aaron 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you believe that the issue is evolutionary then, you have no hope for resolving the issue.
Humans are social creatures. For the most part, humans dislike being alone even though they may find themselves alone. Fear and anxiety are common in our species. In fear and anxiety, depression often surfaces. Most humans are not comfortable with their own thoughts -- something which happens for many when they are alone.
One's experience of aloneness will determine their ability to tolerate the state of being "abandoned" or "rejected".
Further, to feel rejected is to personalize the actions of another. Never personalize the actions of another. Their behaviour is about them not you.
2007-04-30 23:30:24 · answer #3 · answered by guru 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We fear rejection because we fear being alone, to not belong anywhere. As humans we need to feel needed. When we are no longer needed we feel rejected, that we are inadequate and can't fill that space in someone's life anymore. That inadequacy leaves us feeling out of place, like there is no room left for you to just belong.
2007-04-30 23:26:33 · answer #4 · answered by Charlie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When we are rejected, it seems as if we're not okay and we're not welcome. It's like something's wrong with us but we don't know what it is. When we are rejected, almost everybody doesn't like to be with us.
We want to get accepted. It all boils down to an answer: I don't want to be rejected because of the way others will think of me. You don't want to be rejected because you want to have a good reputation on the people around you.
2007-04-30 23:20:03 · answer #5 · answered by Rhabdite 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rejection destroys the hyper inflated self image of ourselves. When we are rejected we realize were not what we think we are. To some people living in denial about their selves this can be very damaging to their ego. We need our ego to be healthy in order to perform at our all ready mentioned hyper inflated self image's best. Sounds like a vicious circle.
2007-05-01 14:24:13 · answer #6 · answered by ROBERT C 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i'd think it's got a lot to do with the fact that being rejected makes us feel unworthy and generally like all the things we've done in life are suddenly nil. Being rejected is like someone staring you in the face and saying "as a human being, you are lacking"
2007-04-30 23:05:18 · answer #7 · answered by embryonicreject 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok so youre living in the jungle with your tribe of 20 people...now youre rejected(not just by the opposite sex but rejection in general) and have to be separated from the group...theres a hungry saber toothed tiger that spots both you and your united tribe...who is it more likely to go after?
2007-05-01 11:45:21 · answer #8 · answered by Spiderpig 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People who are rejected by their fellow human animals have a seriously lessened survivability quotient.
We are unfortunately "social " animals, owing to our lack of natural weaponry, and humans who take social acceptance and cooperation seriously, either genetically or through extra-genetic information, do better and are able to breed.
2007-04-30 23:16:40 · answer #9 · answered by Boomer Wisdom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
most people seem to believe that if other people like them or think they're "cool" they will like themselves. when the exact opposite is true. love comes from within.
rejection reaffirms the belief that they think their not good enough and that they don't deserve to me happy.
people are afraid to take responsibility for how they feel, they would rather blame someone else.
2007-05-01 10:20:49 · answer #10 · answered by lifeoutsidethecircle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋