I am recently pregnant with my boyfriend of 9 months baby and I am feeling the pressure from both our families to get married. I know that would be good for the baby but I'm not sure that we are ready yet. I feel that we need more time to get to know each other and I'm sure that the baby will bring us closer together. Should I feel pressured to marry him or should we wait it out...
2007-04-30 15:10:24 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
ok, we do know each other but you really don't know the person through and through. i have only been with him for 9 months. and we weren't expecting the baby but it happend and we accept the fact that it happend. and we are mature by the way.
2007-04-30 15:26:51 · update #1
dont' do anything your not ready to do...all marriage is...is a religion issue. do what you feel is right. it doesn't matter what everyone else thinks. do what is best for the 2 of you...and nothing more. put the baby first and what's in his/her best interest. don't just jump into marriage. for example I'm glad I didnt...because he didnt turn out to be the best dad in my case...and i now have sole custody of her...if i would have married him we would have had joint..and it would have been a big custody battle. im not sayin thats whats going to happen in ur case..but just be careful...good luck and congradulations on ur pregnancy!
2007-04-30 15:14:47 · answer #1 · answered by mommy911 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Babies don't bring people together. If you weren't ready to be together, you shouldn't have been making babies. You just brought an innocent into your immaturity. Now you have to suffer the consequences of such a childish approach to life. If you marry because of the baby, you have no realistic approach to such a life. And I don't get the "wait it out" issue. Wait what out? That maybe you both might get more mature? Too late. You have a child on the way. You are both responsible for this new life whether you screw up more as a couple or not. If you make the choice to marry, you better be making it because you are sure that you belong together. Too bad you didn't do that before you got pregnant.
2007-04-30 15:23:12 · answer #2 · answered by dawnb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You aren't ready to get married? and you don't feel that you are ready yet?(hello! you have a baby with your boyfriend,and now "this is a problem" for you?)
Oh brother!
Why do you "feel" that you need more time to get to know the man...after you have had sex with him,and are now having both you and his child ?
What is ReAlLy going on here?!!!!! HUH!?
YOu will get to know him, whether you are married to him or not...but, the marriage certifies that he is going to have to be responsible for you and the baby...if you let him go, he doesn't have to pay a dime! You have no claims!
My sister had to get married...she didn't want to..but, her father wanted to make sure that her son was taken good care of! Her father was worried about her,,and what would become of the little baby!
Please rethink your actions here! You have already made a child with this man....I think that you know him so far...you only need to get the papers,and the necessary things for the wedding which doesn't have to be a huge deal...do this for your little baby,and for you as well!
Later, if it doesn't work out.,,you can always divorce..but at least you will or should have financial help..because of the marriage certification!
This benefits you and your child!
good luck!
2007-04-30 15:25:40 · answer #3 · answered by ladyk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is for families. You two will be a family. Why not get married? If you are not together and he or you leave, does anyone else want to deal with either of you and your child support payments and custody issues. No. No one wants to deal with baby daddies and baby mommas and all the jealousy and lost money and lost time. Marriage isn't about being friends and being in love, it is about being a family. You two will be a family once the baby is born and you need to think about the child's future and not just your commitment issues. It won't get better just because you are not married, because physically you two are married to each other with none of the benefits. Don't become another broken family. get married and make your marriage and family a success.Consider it an arranged marriage - arranged by fate.
2007-04-30 15:34:05 · answer #4 · answered by oh really 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no one likes being told what to do or being pressured into something, it seems it doesn't leave reasoning in your own mind on how to handle the situation, it only adds confusion. putting families aside, what do you want out of life? -remember, you've already made a baby with this man, that's a good reason to marry him, you will be giving your baby a last name and starting a life that you can make happy or not. it's not only up to you to make this happen, it's up to your boyfriend, too. no, no one should feel pressured to do anything, but, sometimes, you do things to make a situation better. life is what you make it, so if you have any sort of feelings for this man, and, he has feelings towards you, and i'm not meaning sex only, you should consider marriage. don't be afraid of marriage as the end of your fun days, marriage is a place where the two of you can grow, grow in ways of finding out about each other and truly committing to each other. you have that sweet baby that has already brought you together for life, why not bring marriage and the two of you MAKE it work with LOVE. good luck in your decision and DON'T be afraid. remember, God has a way of making us do the right things for the right reasons.
2007-05-01 00:30:49 · answer #5 · answered by try 2 help 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is precisely why we should follow the rules that have been set.
1. You know the person and date them for a long time. You don't do this when you are too young.
2. You don't have sex with them or live with them before you get married.
3. When you are married and financially independant, then you program having a baby.
You didn't respect the rules, so now you are in trouble.
Welcome to the real world!
2007-04-30 15:20:20 · answer #6 · answered by Nena S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok so you had sex w/ a guy that you didn't know through and through...look honey...it's kinda late now to ask this question...definately don't feel pressure to do anything you don't feel is right....don't get married to him UNLESS you LOVE him. If will only give you pain later on....I would not have sex anymore for a while and see if the chump hangs around....if he does, maybe he really cares for you and just wasn't out for a piece of you....look at the person and decide for yourself if you want to spend the REST of your life w/ them. You are the only one that is going to know that question...don't worry you can still get it right...everybody makes mistakes...it's how we handle the mistakes that teaches us. Take Care.
2007-04-30 16:04:32 · answer #7 · answered by prouddaddy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you two seem to be in a backwards situation. You two started a family, and now you want to get to know eachother. I guess it really depends on why they want the two of you to get married. If it's just for the sake of the child, then, no. If they think that the both of you are perfect for eachother, and you guys are just too scared to tie the knot, then, maybe you should think about it.
2007-04-30 15:17:18 · answer #8 · answered by Lovebug123 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before doing the sex thing you should be ready for the tendency to be pregnant. Now you have the chance to get married, why postpone it? You must be at legal age to start a family, why don't you give it a try?
2007-04-30 15:16:10 · answer #9 · answered by emma l 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now your saying you need more time to get to know eachother, after you get pregnant? Thats backwards. But anyway, dont get married. Do whats in your heart and wait. Dont make the biggest mistake of your life.
2007-04-30 15:19:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋