My husband drinks way to much. I really don't mind if he occasionally drinks. But he drinks a couple of times a week. He seems not to care the way I feel. I think I feel we are a 100 miles apart. I do love him but I m tired of feeling this way and I am Damn tired of the drinking.
2007-04-30 14:57:07 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Then move out for a while... let him see what it will be like when you're gone. This time apart will also give you a chance to see how life is without him. If you already feel so far apart there isn't much you can do to feel close once again.
2007-04-30 14:59:22 · answer #1 · answered by HomSupLo75 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My heart goes out to you - I know exactly how you feel! I have separated from my husband 7 months ago, but not a day goes by that I dont wish it was like it used to be.
My husband was drinking when we first met, we were going out a lot ie: parties, functions, meeting new customer's etc and I noticed it but put it down to my rose coloured glasses. It never got better. I threatened to leave, did leave, came back and continued to run around in circles chasing my tail for the next 9 years. He made many promises, cried tears, begged, pleaded, but never did anything about it. I tried and tried but could never win. I fought the alcohol but the alcohol won. I dont know if there was anything left I could have done. My only advice is to start at the beginning, talk to him, let him know how its affecting you, arrange counselling sessions and support him, in saying that, you can lead the horse to water...... unfortunately you cant make the horse drink.
Your husband may have more will power than mine did, so try it and hope he wakes up to himself and does seek the help he needs, if he doesnt, then move on. I still cry to this day over my marriage breakdown, my husband is still drinking out of control, but each day gets easier. Fight it! You will succeed with or without him. Good luck!
2007-04-30 15:23:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Drinking twice a week is hardly cause for divorce, what else is causing you guys to drift apart? Does he get wasted or just have a couple of drinks?
It seems like there is something deeper, the drinking may even be a symptom of this deeper issue. I think you guys can resolve issues in your marrage but you need to get down to the root of the problem.
2007-04-30 15:01:41 · answer #3 · answered by bluechick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to him heart to heart. Talk to him when he is not drunk. Tell him your true feelings. You are his wife i don't think he can't understand you. You need to save your family and the key is only you. It is very hard to have broken family. If you really love him show him that you care but tell him that you don't like the way he drink couple of times weekly. If you will tell that with love am sure he will think about what you say. Tell him also that you will help him how to get out in that situation.
Good luck!
2007-04-30 15:10:25 · answer #4 · answered by gracee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You now need to lay the law down to him and make him decide what is more important in life you are his drinking,lay the law down and be very firm and stand your ground, what do you have to lose,you marriage is slipping away from his drinking anyway,tell him like it is and don't give him long to make that change over,if he doesn't stop excess drinking move on for a better life.Don't let him take you down with him ,that is what to much drinking will do.
2007-04-30 15:06:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I want to know does he get violent when he drinks, the reason I ask is that would be a major reason for him to quit. Now if he gets mentally abusive that is a reason too.
I dont think just drinking a couple times a week without any violence should be a problem. Why dont you try to drink with him on those nights. I hope I helped.
2007-04-30 15:01:03 · answer #6 · answered by I am woman 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your feelings matter and if he is not respecting them then you deserve better. See if he will go with you to marriage counseling. If he wont' stop drinking and it is affecting your marriage and your feelings of love, respect, and safety, and he wont' go to marriage counseling, then you could threaten to leave him or try a period of separation.
You can save your marriage if he is willing to work to save it too and that means understanding what his perspective is from now on, respecting it and honoring it. your feelings matter, too and if the drinking is bad, then you have a right to have a change for the better and he should be on board and make the change.
2007-04-30 15:01:41 · answer #7 · answered by Cynthia W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
addiction is a serious problem. My sister in-law had the same problem and she finally issued an ultimatum me or the booze and that worked because she was serious and willing to walk away.
If your not serious don't do this but if you are at your end then try it but don't give in.
don't be upset if he chooses the booze, alcoholism is a hard thing to deal with.
You really don't want to watch him drink himself to death, my brother recently did this, not a pretty thing to watch.
I'm sorry for your situation, counseling may help but you cant force him to do it, it has to be of his own free will or it will never work.
2007-04-30 15:08:22 · answer #8 · answered by Nancy P 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it can be tough but u need to sit him down and talk to him when he is not drinking. If he doesn't feel the way u do then its not meant to be. If he loves u like u love him he would at least slow down.
2007-04-30 15:00:24 · answer #9 · answered by Leslie Loves Tommy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you try to save it in spite of his not giving up drinking or even trying to, then you are what is called a "codependent". It will eventually drain you and destroy you.
You may be better off moving on, unless he realizes the problem and starts working on in.
2007-04-30 15:03:38 · answer #10 · answered by Krish K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋