another poem....opinions on it?

Question

There are no hearts in the river of souls
No blood, no arms, no lips
In this pit they're are only shadows splashing
Across the shore of mortality and hope
It's all broken, shattered, and decayed
Brought back from the cemetery
As a carrier of non-existence
No more pretending, relaxations, or resistance
This has all been a dream brought from the disease
A serpent to please the devil in his needs
They're so long forgotten
It has drowned in the sea of oblivion
But as the sun falls below the mountains
There will be a star of lust
Impossible to reach, written to conquer
The shadows leak from her temples
They take form over this place
And swallows all our dreams
There are no plots to analyze
No destinies in the river of souls

if its not obvious the titles, "in the river of souls"

Answer 1

Wow, that's good, but quite depressing.

Answer 2

You've got really great potential, see if you can get some of your work in a writers forum or build you a portfolio.Very inspirational work.
http://www.writers-forum.com/
http://www.writingforums.com/
http://www.writersbbs.com/
http://dmoz.org/Arts/Writers_Resources/Poerty/
Very inspirational!!

I really don't know if any of those web sites are what you need. Hope it helped. Keep up the good work:-)

Answer 3

Kind of wierd.....is that what you think?


Good job expressing your thoughts.

Answer 4

AWESOME Poem