Im not happy in my marriage, but I dont know WHY Im not happy, any help?

Question

twins are on the way, i have a 2 y/o. been together 7 yrs. Converstaion about not being happy has come up before. Now Im in love with another woman who is also married

Answer 1

You are digging your own grave here. What makes you think the new married woman will make you any happier than the one you already have children with? If you are not happy then try getting some help to find out why. Talk to your wife about it. Let her know what is going on in your head so she isn't the last one to get the news you might be giving up on her and your children. She deserves at least that much from you pregnant or not she must prepare herself for what may be the inevitable. If you're cheating you're going to get caught eventually. It doesn't sound like you know what love really is. I hope you find out how to help yourself and save your marriage before it's too late. :(

Answer 2

Stick with the wife and children is part of the package takes alot of stress and work but in time you will be happier. Talk to your wife maybe seek counseling you don't need to interfer with another marriage all you will get is alot of mess to deal with if you wife loves you at least give her that chance to work things out with you and maybe its a phase your going thru twins can be alot of work and she will need her by you side and be a good father to you kids happiness can come from just seeing them grow up and being in there life isn't all about you remember your decisions affect all of yous even the children. You have been together 7 yrs first 10 are the hardest later the bumps should get a little smoother and you will be glad you made the right choices.

Answer 3

It seems alot has happened in the last several years. Maybe your wife isnt or isnt able to give you that attention she gave you before you had kids and now that 2 more are on the way, mauybe you feel you will really be low man on the totem pole. I am married, for 2 years and we have an 11 month old..things have changed between me an my husband. i knwo he feels sometimes i dont give him the attention i USED to give him..it is NOT that i dont love him, it is just we have another person who completely depends on me too right now. Try to remember WHY you 2 fell in love and what made you happy and try to work from there...a third person is also good to talk to (IF you have the time, which it seems it does bec you say you are in love with someone else, an have time for her...or maybe you think you are in love with this other woman bec you just dont have all the responsibilities you do at home...)

i hate to say "think of th e children, " but you have to..they didnt ask to be born, but if you and your wife are fighting in front of them., i am sure it would be best to not be together so the kids can grow up in a peaceful home...I do hope you can work it out....Good luck

Answer 4

I'm sensing that the feelings you're experiencing, in this case, the finality of a life with someone whom you are ultimately not happy with, is driven home with considerable force by the realisation of the two new arrivals.
You will obviously however, have a sense of commitment regarding your children and the time invested with someone who was previously the love of your life.
In my opinion, this boils down to a conflict of the heart and the mind and something has got to give.
Unfortunately therefore, I have to answer your question with a number of questions.

Do you think a fresh start will make you happy?
Do you think a fresh start will make her happy?
Can this problem be resolved through counselling?
Do you both want this problem resolved?
Is this love for another clouding your judgement?

Not an answer as such but more food for thought.

I hope you find happiness and also hope you remain faithful while doing so.

Answer 5

You will go through many trials in a marriage. You should care, it could be your hormones and emotions and they get out of wack really easy. The problem is you and you need to come to some understanding why you feel the way you do. At least you have a father for your child there to help. Communication is the best way and not in a hate you attitude. You two got married young? Things will pass but it takes work on both sides. Write down your thoughts, feelings and possible insecure feelings. Good luck. Change your attitude and the way you look at things..

Answer 6

You just don't seem to be in charge of your own life and feelings. It isn't right to think you get to choose after you start bringing all these children into being. I'm sorry you are not happy whatever that means, but you started this life with your wife and you have to make the commitment to support what you created. Thinking you are in love with someone else who also can't seem to make a moral commitment may make you feel good, but in the long run, you will get what you deserve....nothing. Get some counseling, reconnect with your family and grow up. That is what a real man does.

Answer 7

You should never expect your happiness to lie on the shoulders of another person. Only you can make yourself happy...not your wife, your boss, your best friend or a new woman (she will become 'old' with time, too). It sounds like you are unhappy with yourself and blaming that unhappiness on your wife while seeking 'new' happiness with someone else.

You need counseling...not just for both of you but for yourself alone. You need to realize that you control your own happiness and outlook on life. As far as your marriage, many couples I have talked to that have been married for 40, 50 years have told me that you aren't 'happy' all the time...you are happy sometimes, joyous others, bored sometimes and even unhappy in moments. You stay together because you respect that person above all others. So respect your wife.

Answer 8

Young man, please forget about the other woman. She is not available! And by the way, neither are you. You have responsibilities to your family. Be a man and do the right thing! Marriages go through many changes and you just need to be as supportive of your family as you can. You have a wife and 3 children to think about. God will bless you with the love and happiness you deserve if you rely on him for guidance.

Answer 9

Seven year itch it's called your getting older and with more kids on the way you just see the world passing you by.I no this is not going to do any good by telling you, not to cheat on your wife.If you have already then it's to late you have destroyed the one person in your life that would never hurt you.Wait until the newness wares off and you start seeing what you had right in front of you and you through it away for a new peace of ***.All I can say to you is you just step in quick
sand my friend.

Answer 10

I don't know how to answer this diplomatically and frankly, this is too easy to pass up. IF you are as you post, then any woman that got involved with you would have to be crazy. Married, twins coming, and a 2yr old. Now, that's IF you are a guy. Otherwise, YOUR lover has to be a loser, if she's ready to have an affair with a pregnant woman, that's married and has another kid.