Has anyone or will anyone be doing anything for themselves on Mother's Day after their miscarriage?

Question

I was just wondering if anyone has in the past or will be doing something special for Mother's Day after they had a miscarriage? Is there any special thing you did for yourself? I had a miscarriage back in Nov. and even though I never got to meet my baby I still consider myself a mother to that baby. Any special websites, poems, or just any ideas in general would be really nice to hear about. I'm not sure if it's strange to want to do something for myself this first Mother's Day that's why I'd really like some feed back on this question. I just thought it would be nice to hear other mother's answers to this question who have gone through the same thing. I always appreciate the nice answers people give me back to my questions. It really helps out a lot. Thanks.

Answer 1

First of all I want to say how sorry to hear of your loss. I know what you are going through.

I have had three miscarriages, 2 in the first trimester and the last was in the 2nd trimester, I never did anything nor did the man I was with which is the father to all my children done anything for me on that special day.

What I did for myself was buy an angel for my babies I had lost. I now collect angels, I believe that there are angels all around us who help us and gives us strength through these terrible times we have faced. And only those who have lost a child actually know the pain of the loss of a child that was wanted and loved even before we were able to see their precious faces.

A mother falls in love with thier child long before we give birth to them. My heart and prayers go out to you.

I hope you have a loving and supportive spouse who can help you get through this coming mother's day and all the heartaches you will have to come. That will help you more than anything.

Go to this web site listed at the end of my answer, it is for women who have lost a child. I hope this helps you with the pain you are going through. Please take it one day at a time and remember there is not a set time for this pain to pass. And if people whisper behind your back don't listen. This is your way of healing even if it takes years. The children I lost would of been 26,19, and17 this year and I still have days where I wonder what they would be of been like.

I promise it does get better, I know it doesn't feel like it ever will but the pain gets easier to deal with and you never forget.

http://www.richmonddiocese.org/women/Loss%20of%20Child.htm

Answer 2

Know what? Do what makes you feel better. I miscarried twice and I have 3 wonderful kids. No one can tell you the right or wrong thing to do. On Mothers Day, celebrate your child if you'd like. It would be a nice remembrance. Cry if you want to for as long as you need to but try to focus on the child and not the loss. I went through the grief and guilt and anger, all seven or eight of the "stages of grief". Some things are beyond our control sweetie. Depending on your beliefs, you will meet your beautiful baby one day. You may have other children. Until then, you do Mother's Day your way, there is no wrong way.

Answer 3

I'm so sorry about your miscarriage, and no it's not 'strange' at all. That baby is still in your heart if not in your arms. But I think I would make it a private celebration (that's not the right word, I know) of the day, because others might not understand. The traditional purpose of mother's day is to honour our mothers, as their children, to thank them for the care and love and sacrifices that they make for us every day. But if the day helps you to honour your love for your lost child, then I think it's a beautiful thought. Do you have a favourite flower or plant or tree that you could plant in a special spot? You could make that a yearly tradition, as a gift to yourself and a reminder of your baby.

Answer 4

You know what? You are a mother! You had the love for your child and that's what matters... You should do something for Mother's Day. Perhaps you could go out to a nice restaurant or buy yourself something special. I bought myself a bracelet with my son's name on it (unfortunately I've since lost it) but I also bought myself many other things as well.

Did you name your child?

Answer 5

I'm so sorry for your loss. What a difficult thing for you.

I think that you should definitely do something for yourself and in memory of your little baby. Depending on how you feel, you could do something by yourself or outside the house. You could just rent movies you really like, take the phone off the hook, and order a pizza. Or, if you feel okay out in public, you could treat yourself to a day at the spa. Or, maybe something "springy" would make you feel good, like going to your local botanical gardens?

Answer 6

i am sorry that i am unable to relate to the pain you must be feeling. i think it makes sense for you do something special on Mother's day, especially if it is important to you.

my suggestion... you and your husband/boyfriend should go on a picnic. that is always a nice way to spend a day, plus you will have privacy. While on your picnic you could release a baby to represent you letting go of your baby. it sounds cheesy, but i think i would be nice idea and may give you some closure.

best of luck to enjoy, and enjoy your mother's day as best you can!

Answer 7

I think you should celebrate Mother's day, after all you did somewhat carry the baby even though it did not live through the pregnacy unfortanuately! It was still a baby, Me and my mother always go buy flowers together and plant them! I think it would be great for you to go buy flowers and plant them for your lost baby!

Answer 8

Buyan angel and a candle, so you remember to say a prayer on Mother's Day, babies due date, and at Christmas.
[My cousin lost a baby before their other children, but they still hang up a stocking for her.]
The first everything is hard after a pregnancy loss - allow yourself to grieve so you can start to heal.
[ look under 'pregnancy loss' on the net- and don't forget to share feelings with your husband ]

Answer 9

Above all remember: just because you can't hold your baby, you are still a mother. You are just as attached to the baby as you would be if he/she were with you now. I think that if you want to honor yourself on Mother's Day, you go right ahead. You have every right! It is perfectly normal to remember your baby and celebrate his/her life.

Answer 10

I am so sorry for your loss. It must be very hard to get over something like that and I think you should do whatever makes you happy for Mother's day! You are not hurting anyone and I think that the people that have tried to be 'Amusing' by posting idiot remarks to your question are heartless...