I Wonder
I wonder what
Dad's doing now
Around him
Gun's go "pow."
I wonder why
Dad went away.
I wish Dad would
Have stayed.
I wonder where
My daddy is
To help me through
This life long quiz.
I wonder when
Dad will be back.
From a warzone
Called Iraq.
Do you like it?
I'm 13.
2007-04-30 13:23:36 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
It's not horrible, but I think a poem like this would be much better written in free-verse. The "guns go 'pow'" part of it kind of made me flinch; rhyming doesn't work so well in this poem. But you do show a lot of promise. Good luck babe :)
2007-04-30 13:27:24 · answer #1 · answered by Kaylie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you are the only ignoring the data. In 1980, the suitable tax cost became 70%. decrease than President Reagan's smart coverage, the suitable tax cost became decreased to twenty-eight% (and the economic device boomed!) the present suitable cost is 35%, which, final time I checked, is larger than 28%. What could be perplexing you is that income tax receipts are presently low by using undesirable economic device. That proves that larger tax expenditures do no longer unavoidably advise greater gross sales.
2016-12-28 05:40:44 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well out of 1-10 i would give it a 9. It is sad but I like the wording of it.
2007-04-30 13:29:24 · answer #3 · answered by Sanah J. 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Simply wonderful! U should join a newspaper club or something! I'd give it 2 thumbs up!!! Keep it up, u might even become the world's youngest famous writer!
2007-04-30 13:30:46 · answer #4 · answered by sakuracherry2 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
HONEY.... I admire you so much!
I am going send it to my good friend who is a manager at the paper, and I am sure she will publish it. Her daughter is over in Iraq too in the Army. She will love it, I'm sure. My daughter is also in the Navy, but not at sea right now. God Bless you for the words so beautifully written. You get a 10+
2007-04-30 13:31:06 · answer #5 · answered by LARGE MARGE 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes I do like it and I know your dad is very proud of you. You have a talent there. And I pray before too long your dad will be back home with his family.
2007-04-30 13:28:43 · answer #6 · answered by lynda 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have a bright future in poetry. Im 13 too and I could never write something like that :O
2007-04-30 13:26:11 · answer #7 · answered by al3xxx 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
very nice except for guns go pow. maybe try to find something else. bad for a grown up well no maybe not cuz i know a lot of stupid people. so yes good just needs some minor tweaking.
2007-04-30 13:28:59 · answer #8 · answered by greenman 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's a good start for someone your age. It's a little juvenile, nothing really interesting about the rhyming scheme, but I think if you practiced and read other poetry you could become very good.
2007-04-30 13:26:38 · answer #9 · answered by McLovin 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
meh good start seeing as how war isn't the easiest topic to elaborate on, *brings a tear to my eye* perhaps on nov 11th you could enter it in a contest and see what poets think of it, not just some ppl on a forum
2007-04-30 13:29:09 · answer #10 · answered by Franky Tank Runner 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋