I got a great price on 55 gallon drum of Vaseline?

Question

Might not need that much what else can I use it for?

Answer 1

Your lips shall never be chapped.

You can rub it on your thighs and nipples to avoid bleeding if you are running a marathon.

Lots of Peanut Butter & Petroleum Jelly Sandwiches...mmmm mmm good

"Personal" Lubricant for Life.

Question: Where do you keep it?

Grease yourself up and slide through the ductwork of a local building. Not that I would want to abet in a robbery. That and good luck to the police that try to catch you.

Grease up a wild squirrel and try to catch it. What a work out.

Rub it on fake houseplants for that extra shine.

Baby Style Thermometer Readings made easy.

Not sure if you could use it to grease hinges and sliding doors. I think it would attract dirt.

Put is on the handrails in a local building and watch the people slip slide away.

Throw a wicked curveball.

Donate it to Kenny Rodgers (Pitcher for the Detroit Tigers)

Grease the palms of your local politicians (Literally)

Cover your face with it in the Winter. I believe it has an insulating effect.

Grease up for an better time in the 100M Freestyle.

Or the all girl petroluem jelly fight. Sounds like fun viewing to me.

Answer 2

55 gallons hmm?

-Go to a parking lot with a gallon of it and smear a small handful on everyones door handles

-Go to a gas station and put cup of vaseline in the window washer bucket at the end of the pump and stir it up with the squigee so that when people go to wash their windows they get an oily blurry mixture across half their window before they notice it

-Replace the shampoo in someones bottle with it, and store the real shampoo in a plastic bag or bottle so when the joke is over it didn't cost anyone anything

-Put a little smudgen on the handle on the toilet (eww!)

-The door handle thing always works

-Prank someone with 2 gallons of it and smear it all over their car

-Vaseline + Bathtub floor = Slippery, but also = Death

-Someone at work you hate? Coat the inside of their coffee mug with it and/or just plain out fill it to the brim.

-Put it on someone's telephone receiver.. mwahaha..

-First, stir a bunch of it with a lot of red food coloring, then generously apply it under someone's pillow AHAHA

-That's all I can think of

Answer 3

Joke:Many Uses Of Vaseline
A man doing market research knocked on a door and was greeted by a young woman with three small children running around at her feet. He said, "I'm doing some research for Vaseline. Have you ever used the product?"

She said, "Yes. My husband and I use it all the time."

"And if you don't mind me asking, what do you use it for?"

"We use it for sex." The researcher was a little taken aback. He said, "Usually people lie to me and say that they use it on a child's bicycle chain or to help with a gate hinge. But, in fact, I know that most people do use it for sex. I admire you for your honesty. Since you've been frank so far, can you tell me exactly how you use it for sex?"

The woman said, "I don't mind telling you at all. My husband and I put it on the door knob and it keeps the kids out."

Answer 4

The tapioca pudding is smarter, greater thrilling and proficient plus fairly smart. human beings 20 or 30 years from now will fairly remember tapioca pudding and want to have it around. Heard from Bobby Sherman at the instant?

Answer 5

good skin softner...I put it on those little bottles of superglue so the lids dont get glued shut♥

Answer 6

you can put it on your house as a heat/water insulator? lol

Answer 7

Well, I guess it made it nicer when they stuck it to you.

Answer 8

Can I have some?

Answer 9

lol
lmao
lol

Answer 10

lots of gay lovin