Why do domestic violence cases only concentrate on the Female victims and never the Male?

Question

Many men are attacked each year, but we never hear about it. Many men lose their homes and kids at the hands of a devious woman, but the way its ignored in the press, you wouldnt think it ever happened, even though we know a fairly large percentage of Domestic violence is caused by women.

Men also lose everything when their wives have been unfaithful, yet they lose it all when they are the guilty party, hardly fair is it?

Danru, in 1 hand you say it hardly ever happens to a bloke, and in the other you say it does happen but men dont report it always. If we add the reported crimes to the 'lets keep it quiet' crimes we end up with a fairly high percentage, surely

I say to all men "Report it" if it happens to you. Then we'll see some true stats

Justagrandma, you will find that men work more hours of overtime, which, when diluted into the total hours they work, makes it appear they earn more, when in fact, basic pay is pretty much the same. Another media 'bandwagon'

Answer 1

Alot of men are too ashamed to report it. I was married to a cop and women are arrested when they strike the male first. It just has to get reported.

Answer 2

Doodlebugjim says: "In the UK every government council has been written to asking why there is no provision made for male victims of domestic violence. The answer was nearly always the same: there is no need. One of two councils said that they could allocate a room or two in a women's shelter to male victims, but I doubt that would go down to well with the women in the shelter!" I don't see how this supports your suggestion that men don't seek resources. The fact that the councils have been written to means that male victims are seeking resources (otherwise, why write?), but are being denied the resources because the councils feel there's no need. In fact there is very much a need. doodlebugjim posts a couple of links over and over again which are concrete proof that the rates of DV are roughly 50/50. This is worrying. The reason we never see examples is that they are laughed at and never seen as worthy of being made public. This is very sad. I don't see why I'm automatically immune to DV because of my gender and why I should be laughed at and denied help if I report DV against my partner. It is a worrying situation that needs changing and fast. It is because men prefer privacy and silent suffering to open ridicule and denial of help that they usually don't report DV against them.

Answer 3

There is more a taboo about it, but dont worry there are organisations who are bringing it to the public attention. There is still the 'look the other way' problem with all sorts of domestic violence and abuse, it is just more common that the violence/abuse will be against the wives rather than the husband. Usually the wife is better off in a divorce because she is usually given custody of the children and so as not to cause upheavel to them, they are allowed to carry on living in the family home.

If you are talking from personal experience, contact the police every time you are threatened or assualted they will not stand for any violence or threats whether it is against the man or the woman.

Also I had to leave my violent ex partner when he was at the shops because I was afraid for my life, nothing happened to him and I spent the next year in a refuge (I wasnt allowed to tell anyone where the refuge was just in case my ex threatened them), and when I was finally re housed I was told that I wasnt allowed a grant to refurbish my house (i left with the clothes on my back and what I could fit into a tiny bag), but if my ex had been imprisoned for what he had done he would have been as that would be classed as an unsettled way of life. Thats right the wife beater would have been given a hand out and the 'victim' is left to rot.

You can also contact the following organisations that are for men and women.

www.safe4all.org
www.bullyonline.org
www.survivingthememories.com

Answer 4

Sorry "pepper" you're 100% wrong, men do lose everything when their partners are unfaithful. A man is forced to live with an unfaithful woman or face losing his kids and a punitive amount of his income in maintanence payments because women are automatically awarded custody of the children when a relationships ends and the man is legally responsible to provide for the children.

If a woman is unfaithful a man cannot simply kick her out as she will take the kids with her and he can do nothing about this. It seems it is totally appropriate behaviour for a woman to be unfathful yet if a man is unfaithful he deserves to lose his kids.

Also women are just as inclined to violence and abuse as men. Recent studies have discovered that women and men abuse each other equally, although men do not report these incidents as much as women.

The fact is that there are evil men and there are evil women, but the law and the media only see evil in men.

Answer 5

Hi.
I used to work for a DV unit in UK.

I think the reason why it isn't reported in the press is because it still has a stigma attached, its taken years for people to accept that Domestic Violence against women is unacceptable, let alone DV against men.
DV against men isn't as prolific as it is against women and its less likely to be reported.

One in Seven men will experience Domestic Violence, one in four women will experience DV and two women a week are murdered in a DV incident. The figures for men are a lot lower.
23% of all assaults recorded by the police are domestic abuse assaults
8% of calls are for male victims attacked by women.
81% of calls are female victims attacked by male perpetrators.

I'm not saying that DV against women is worse than DV against men, just that its more wide spread and with better provisions, therefore less stigma and more available help. Therefore its more readily reported by the media.

I think the answer is that every one should have a better awareness of Domestic Violence it doesn't matter whether its victims are men or women.
All Domestic Violence is horrific and unacceptable.



We should be careful not to confuse being unfaithful and the normal trials of separation as DV though.

http://www.mankind.org.uk/domabus.htm
http://www.mensadviceline.org.uk/
http://www.fathersdirect.com/index.php?nID=62

Answer 6

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Answer 7

Domestic violence is essentially equally split between males and females but because the violence perpetrated against women is usually much more of a serious nature ,this is what makes the media.

Sadly ,our legal system/culture has yet to catch up with equally and this is why generally women are given ludicrously less severe sentences for the sexual interference of minors and why they still generally are awarded the children in custody fights to name just two areas where inequality against males is so obvious.

Answer 8

The courts and the law both recognizes the male victim of DV.
This is under Kentucky statutory laws . And in many state laws.

Answer 9

What's DANRU gibbering about. The whole point of the debate is that there are no statistics because as you and others have pointed out, men are reluctant to report. It's also convenient for women to put this down to some male failing to do with their ego. Men know that their report would not be taken as seriously and it's a fact that society does view men who suffer from domestic abuse as weak, from both sexes, not just other men. Just for the record, I know plenty of guys who've taken a slap from their Mrs. I honestly belive that women are physicaly violent on a more frequent basis than men

Answer 10

While men are victims of domestic violence, they only make up a very small percentage of those victimized. This is why the media dosen't cover it. Also the idea that a man is being victimized i.e. beat, or otherwise physically abused by a women has some stigma to it. -Not too manly.