I love my fiance' dearly and want to have a great life with him. I've always been very attractive to him physically, but lately, I'm not. He's grown his sideburns long and they look terrible. I tried really hard to talk to him about it in a very nice way, but he doesn't seem to care if I find them repulsive or not, his son doesn't like them either, so it's not "just me". I am trying very hard to get over the way he looks right now, because I love him either way - but it's really turning me off every time I look at him, and knowing he doesn't even care that I feel this way doesn't help. I'm afraid I'll damage our relationship by not being as sexually active as I normally am (I'm a bit of a freak!), but I also can't feel like I'm lying and all turned on when I'm not. What should I do???
2007-04-30 10:38:54 · 15 answers · asked by wellbeing 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
IF sideburns turn you off to the point that you don't know if you love him, you don't love him and never did. Do him a favor and cut him loose. This is one of the stranger questions I have seen here. Lord help him if, down the road, he puts on a few extra pounds.
2007-04-30 10:44:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you should rethink your true feelings for him. Maybe you care for him, but don't really love him. Think about it. If mere sideburns turn you off this much, what if he was badly burned or something like that in an accident? It doesn't sound to me like you're in love with the person he is on the inside. Trouble creeps in when we become vain people.
My husband does the stupid pork chop Elvis sideburns sometimes and I think they're the craziest looking things I've ever seen, but hey, it's his face, and whatever he wants to wear on it...ya know?
2007-04-30 17:44:42 · answer #2 · answered by a_lot_smarter_now 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, you "love your fiance dearly" but are that concerned with how he looks??? He's the one looking like a fool, not you. It's probably just a phase for him- he'll get over it. If something like SIDEBURNS can change the way you feel about him that much, sounds like you're pretty shallow to me.
2007-04-30 18:03:42 · answer #3 · answered by jhs247 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife died of cancer and the last few years she was not exactly attractive, but I loved her more than the day we married. I would have happily spent the rest of my life taking care of her in spite of her appearance.
You need to reexamine what is really important to you, then decide what you are going to do. If it makes that big of a difference to you, then let him go so that he can find someone that will accept him for the person that he is rather than his looks being the driving issue.
2007-04-30 17:49:54 · answer #4 · answered by Randy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a shallow person you must be. Letting sideburns destroy your intimate life with the man you supposedly love!!
If my husband's face got burned off tomorrow, I'd still see the same man I love unconditionally!
Get over the facial hair or move on! Your man deserves UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. Not the kind that says I love you baby, as long as your side burns are trimmed.
2007-04-30 17:42:39 · answer #5 · answered by Starla_C 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Dress to the "9"'s in something extremely sexy that he likes and take a poloroid (or digital cam pic if you have a printer at home to print it) and put it in with his lunch or work stuff with a coupon good for something that is his particular extra special desire with the "terms and conditions" that he comes home with a hair cut without the sideburns.
That should be highly motivating to get him looking in a way that is sexy for you!
2007-04-30 17:47:56 · answer #6 · answered by Zaferus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
would be re-thinking my feelings for a man I say I love......but i cant stand his sideburns. Its just hair. If he likes them, and wants to keep them, either you accept it, or tell him ya gotta go. I dont think its fair to judge a person for a physical feature, if ya TRULY love them.
Or you could just shave them off while he sleeps. Doubt he would be too thrilled with ya though.
2007-04-30 17:48:13 · answer #7 · answered by Christie E 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've tried being nice and subtle now its time to tell him straight up how it is, guys don't take hints very well so we have to be quite obvious as to what we like/don't like
tell him how those chops really turn you off and if he really loves you then he'll shave them, if he doesn't then its his loss
2007-04-30 17:46:32 · answer #8 · answered by koleebear 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I can call you Well, right?
You may be laboring under delusions, like most of our unfortunate fellow human beings...
Like eternal love...and the presumption that we ALL have souls.
If the man you intended to marry wont even cut his side-burns for you...and you can't look past them, I'm afraid neither one of you are ready to be married TO ANYONE...
In the real world, we don't learn to love with our "hearts" automatically, yes our hormones may give us a warm fuzzy feeling in our chests, but that goes away after about 18 months after we "consummate" our "love." A lasting relationship requires the cultivation of a soul, no not what Blacks call soul, that's primate instinct, and not what Christians call a soul, that's a mythological device for manipulation, no the soul I'm talking about is your awareness of self, your personal universe, and where you REALLY fit into it, your EMOTIONAL IDENTITY, and it must be nurtured and cultivated for it to grow, but religion and fashion and modern pressures help to make that very hard to do, or to even realize that it needs doing...Stop pretending you are still "in love" with this guy and take the time to figure out who you really are before you decide who your "soul mate" is...
Best of luck to you.
2007-04-30 17:42:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 1⤋
Next time he wants to have sex tell him not unless he shaves the sideburns.
2007-04-30 17:44:07 · answer #10 · answered by ClassyKat 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋