the debt is mostly from a bad divorce and "guilt money" for his young children.I have the money to pay the debt but feel funny him asking me for it.I would never ask anyone to pay off my debt but thats just me.mature answers only please would a decent guy ask his fiance to pay his debt off and how would u feel if he did?
2007-04-30 10:26:30 · 11 answers · asked by carriemartin7869 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't care how long you've been together; debt he aquired prior to your relationship is ABSOLUTELY HIS PROBLEM, NOT YOURS.
DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT pay off his debt. It's not that you don't love him, but finances can make an otherwise great relationship tricky. He had no problem wracking up the debt before he knew you - whatever it's from - therefore, he should have no problem paying it off. Don't set yourself up to be his "bail out".
Think of it this way: if your fiancee had $30K in student loan debt, would you pay that off? I should hope not!
Good luck, and yes - I think you're right to question whether a decent guy would ask his fiance to pay off his debt. In a word, my answer is "no".
2007-04-30 10:32:13 · answer #1 · answered by Courtney 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can only answer from what I have experienced in my life, which is not exactly the same. I have been married to a guy for eleven years and we started to have problems and we separated. At which point I learned that he had basically done a number on my credit score because he had managed the money ever since we had children and my time was taken up elsewhere. He had at some point began to "forget" to pay bills in my name occasionally but never ones in his name and had run up our credit cards and debt on needless purchases that, stupidly enough i didn't realize we were not paying outright for. I guess what i am trying to say is that for many people credit becomes an addiction to buying more and more. The fact that he basically asked you to pay off his debt indicates that he probably will expect you to continue to fund his lifestyle choices.
2007-04-30 10:55:01 · answer #2 · answered by Angel A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be very careful here. "Help" can mean gift or loan. Either way, it is very unlikely you'll see that money again.
A mature guy takes care of his finances. Rule of thumb is not to lend or borrow money from friends because that tends to sour the friendship. This rule is worse for lovers. If you marry the guy, you will definitely not see the money again because now it is common property.
At least you now know he will be living in debts for the foreseeable future. This is sizeable debt and can only get worse as he has child support and other bills to pay. Love or not, can you handle this life together?
2007-04-30 12:52:39 · answer #3 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh, yes....I would absolutely pay off his debts, and while you are at it, how about giving him your credit cards, bank card, and signature ability on your checking account? Sure I would. OR, I might just run to the nearest exit and walk right on out the door. There is a fool born every minute, and you are dangerously close to that line. OF course, if you can afford it, it would be a good test to find out if he is going to be here once the money runs out...hmmmmm. I think I would think longer on this one, and again, I would come up with the same answer...I don't think so! And why would you want to marry someone who has no money???? Get a grip, girl, men come with money just as easily as broke. And it is certainly as easy to love one who has money as it is one who doesn't. I suspect your life will always be hand to mouth if you go down this route...better think this one through.
2007-04-30 10:41:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO he wouldn't, and NO you shouldn't. I have a friend that was in this same scenario- her fiance told her a month before their wedding that he was technically still married and his ex-wife wouldnt sign the divorce papers til he paid her the $20K he owed her from the divorce settlement. So my friend used money she had received as an early inheritance from her grandmother to pay off the ex, and 2 years later they were divorced. DON'T DO IT!!
2007-04-30 10:32:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't pay off his debt. That is his dept and his responsiblity and do not marry him.
This is clue number one that this guy is not good enough for you. If he's 30K in debt, what does he have to offer you? It sounds like you have what he needs so he'll get it from you. Once you've paid off his debt he's gone, married to you or not..
2007-04-30 10:38:28 · answer #6 · answered by lwheavenlyangel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO!!!!!! I did this for my fiance, we later got married and I found out he was cheating on me. We divorced a year later. It has now been 7 years and I have done everything including sue him to get my money, but to this day I have not seen 1 penny of the money I lent him.
2007-04-30 10:36:46 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whether you pay for it now or later, if you plan on marrying him, you will, "I repeat", will have to pay it. The question you should be asking yourself is "when" you will pay it off. I would personally wait until after you guys get married to pay it. That way, you know that he at least isn't with you for your money.
Good luck!
2007-04-30 10:49:12 · answer #8 · answered by ~Fire-Princess~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is so not right. You cannot fall for this. By asking the question you know this isn't right. He needs to take responsiblility for his own ex and you should rethink marriage to a man who cannot manage his money or be adult enough to take the steps to clear his debts. HUGE red flag!
2007-04-30 10:51:01 · answer #9 · answered by dawnb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he shouldn't ask you. May be after you are maried since you two are one.....you can pay it off.
2007-04-30 10:43:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋