I mean he literally spends every single minute it on it when he is not working or sleeping I just dont feel like he is giving me or our son any of his free time. He tells me well at least Im not out drinking or druging which is a good thing but I think I should get some time. Right?
2007-04-30 07:35:43 · 16 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
From a guy who was neglecting my family due to Everquest it's not easy. The game is highly addictive and provides an escape . I would ask your loved one what/why they're trying to avoid by playing the game. Much of the appeal of EQ resides in accomplishments (reaching higher levels, developing skills, making profits, and acquiring equipment). These are but substitutes for real life achievements that are not as easily acquired and often not recognized. Try emphasizing what they're doing right in the real world. Also there's the online interactions with other people which are much easier to establish and control than in the real world. Get involved with other people as a couple. For me it was hearing my son complain about me playing the game and the physical/emotional toll it was taking from sitting in front of the CPU repeating mindless tasks that ultimately got me to quit. I still have the urge to renew my subscription from time to time but remind myself of the true cost.
2007-05-03 13:04:26 · answer #1 · answered by William R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, it is not possible to be addicted to anything unless you can form a physical dependance upon it. Drugs, alchohol can be addictions, games cannot.
However, it is an obsession. This is someone thinks about something when they are not doing it and their life revolves around it. This sounds like your husband's issue.
EQ, WoW and other MMORPG are designed to be very fun, powerful and can often give people challenges and a feeling of self worth they aren't getting in rl (real life). Who doesn't want to slay the dragon and be the hero with the new cool sword everyone is envious of? The other problem is that unless you invest huge amounts of time once you get to be a really high level it's hard to keep up with the rest of the EQ/WoW crowd.
Some people tire of the "hamster wheel" effect of these games, some people will stop of nothing short of "play times and non play times" set in stone for when he can go do his thing - which is what I would recommend for you to do. Maybe after the kid is in bed then he can fire up the game except for a few nights a week for you and see how that works.
2007-04-30 15:32:31 · answer #2 · answered by Zaferus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most definitely. You deserve alot of time. Isn't that why you were married? To spend the rest of your lives together.
You have to confront this problem now and start by saying, your not going to congratulate him and pat him on the back, because he's not out drinking or druging! If he thinks that he's a wonderful husband and father, because he's playing on-line games and ignoring his wife and child, then he doesn't know what marriage is.
If he chooses to be selfish and continue to play his games, even when you ask him to spend more time with you and the child, then he doesn't know what love is.
Get your self respect, dignity, pride and values and tell him, your not going to let this continue. You married him because you supposedly love eachother and now willing to make eachother happy for the rest of your lives. Tell him, your not happy and you want this to change now, especially because his child is involved.
You both could work together and one day spend alot of time together, so that the next day he could go play his games all night. That's when it wouldn't bother you.
Just make sure he loves it when he's spending time with you. Make him really happy. To make any man really happy, you have to compliment them. Compliment him immediately when he is not on-line. Tell him he's gorgeous and how happy you are because he's with you and how much fun you could have right now, etc. Tell him if he keeps this up, then whisper what your going to do with him later in bed. Good Luck
2007-04-30 15:10:45 · answer #3 · answered by Very Honest 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same exact problem with my husband. We just had a baby and though I love him dearly, he spends entirely too much time with his computer. I jokingly say that our infant son will grow up calling the computer his "brother--daddy's favorite son". I devised a compromise plan. I told him how much I thought he was neglecting the family and that I know he needs his time too, so you pick two weekdays and one weekend day to play, and the rest of the time you spend with us. It worked for six months...we are back in negotiations.
2007-04-30 14:43:34 · answer #4 · answered by Katie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alcohol and drugs are an addiction. So are video games. If the guy cannot give them up for a month then he is addicted. You need to find counselling. Hopefully, you can get him to come to them. Sabotaging his game play may not work the way you hope it will. I knew a girlfriend who "accidentally" spilled coke on a guys game console so he would spend time with her. He got up and went to the store and bought another game console and still spent the night playing the game.
http://www.webmd.com/content/article/124/115554
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Game_addiction
http://www.mediafamily.org/facts/facts_gameaddiction.shtml
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/07/03/health/webmd/main1773956.shtml
2007-04-30 14:43:52 · answer #5 · answered by A.Mercer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you find out i whis you could let me know, my husband is never of off ebay. anyway i found this web site now we fight over the computer. anyway, we are happy, because you are not you need to talk to him firmly dont back down and tell him atleast spend a little time on it say 1 hour or 2 and the rest of the time he spends with you. i suppose it is like speaking to a child saying that bu you will have to try something.
2007-04-30 14:42:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you can stop it. It is an additction, like any other...it ruins lives and tears families apart. I ought to know, I left my computer addicted guy after 21 years of no time for me or the kids. It was sad, but life has been much brighter for me the last 10 years without the constant rejection, or at least what felt like rejection, to and of me.
Good luck sweetie.
2007-04-30 14:40:17 · answer #7 · answered by naughty lady 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
tell him that if he doesn't cut back on his EQ play time he is going to have some major wife agro and his faction will plummet. Trust me, as a former EQ player this statement will make sense to him. If that doesn't work, you could always uninstall EQ and it'd take him a day or so to get it patched up again
2007-04-30 14:41:50 · answer #8 · answered by eryana_nosowforu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get naked and stand in front of him.
Seriously though, it works. just ask my girlfriend (i cant remember the last time i even thought about playing a video game). Or just tell him that you dont feel he's giving you or your son the attention they need and/or deserve.
2007-04-30 14:39:05 · answer #9 · answered by matt_archbold2002 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take the computer out of the house
2007-04-30 14:39:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋