I am in love with a married woman. I became friends with her a few months ago when she came to work for a company I was with. She is very attractive, and about 25 years my senior. She didn’t stay long with the company but we continued to hang out. I got to know her better and came to find out that her husband had just recently cheated on her with a much younger woman. We have become close these past few months and I’m 99.9% sure she likes me, more than a friend that is. She is really touchy feely and we are constantly flirting with each other. Her husband works at night and sleeps during the day and she will only talk to me when she is away from him and we will only hang out after he’s gone to work. My question is should I continue along this path or should I bail because if I continue the relationship will turn sexual and I CANNOT say no to this woman. I fear I’m headed for a catastrophe but all I see is her and I can’t stop. What’s a girl to do!!
2007-04-30 07:21:16 · 29 answers · asked by ♀ǐcƏ_ƇơĿƉ♀ 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Wow, thanks for all the great answers, and to those not so great – wake up, its 2007 – I really have a lot to think about. Again thank you.
2007-04-30 08:41:09 · update #1
Ignore the immaturity of the majority of the answers above me (and possibly those below). If she is married, you need not to pursue it. Sometimes things like these happen and you have to force yourself to move on. If by chance, a few years down the road you find she is single and interested still, then it is OK to pursue. I am sorry you have feelings for her in this situation, but the best thing to do is to leave it be and to not tear apart the family. If he cheated on her, that is her issue to deal with and let her make the choice she wants whether you think it is right for her or not. Good luck!
2007-04-30 07:28:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well she is married regardless of the status of that. Try and think of it if you were with her or someone else and they were doing that and you found out. Im wondering if she is being flirty and touchy with you because she is not getting what she needs in her current relationship. Just be careful you dont want yourself to get hurt or hurt her even though those feelings are there she may reciprocate because of those feelings.
Besides 25 years your senior are you sure that gap in age wont be a major factor down the road. Different priorities, agendas, Not trying to keep you down just looking for it from the outside. Find someone you can be with that is available and will be able to put you first. Right now your still second because she will only talk to you or hang out with you when hes away. So shes afraid of him finding out which in turn may be that she really isnt ready to seperate from him or she would leave him. good luck
2007-04-30 07:31:52 · answer #2 · answered by GA 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don’t you just love how opinionated people are on Yahoo. As if it was called “Yahoo Opinions”. I have been in your shoes, in love with a much older man who happened to be married. We lasted 2 years! If you can accept that you will always be the other woman, the person he can’t spend the holidays with, he may even miss a special night out with you for your birthday. Understand that no matter what he says he may very well be sharing his bed with his wife still. He may never leave her for you and what if he does? Will you really be able to trust someone who could be stolen? This is a hard relationship to have and inspite of my serious concerns about it, I do wish you only luck. And hope you find the happiness you seek!
2016-05-17 10:06:02 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said you were in love with her but you are afraid to continue the relationship.What are you afraid of? Her husband cheated,I assume you are not involved with anyone,and you are both adults. You're a woman,she's a woman you have feelings for her and she has feelings for you.There is nothing wrong with having a sexual relationship with her. My girlfriend is bi so I understand it. Maybe after you have sex with her you'll decide it isn't for you and/or she may feel the same. However I think it's worth a try.This way you'll know. And it could turn out to be a wonderful,lasting relationship
2007-04-30 08:06:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's always good to be there for a friend when something bad like that happens....i think you should just try being friends with her if she makes the first move then see where it goes from there if there's a kiss your adults talk about it and if one thing leads into another you have to talk about that too but she is in a rough stage right now and you dont want to be a rebound or the other woman because if she's not going to leave her husband you will just get more attached and be let down
try not to jump to conclusions until something happens
2007-04-30 07:30:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go with the flow until the boat starts rocking ... if there isn't any problems right now ... except you don't know where the relationship is heading ... don't worry so much ... if you want more you have to let her know ... nobody is a mind reader ... sit down and have a serious talk with her one night ... she should be friend enough to tell you the truth ... if anything wait for sexual contact until she knows for sure the marriage isn't going anywhere ... good luck ... sounds like she would be understanding ... !
2007-04-30 07:29:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Same thing as a guy in the same situation -- walk away. You don't want to be party to helping someone cheat on their spouse. If you truly admire her and feel for her, give her the name of a marriage counselor instead. She needs to either finish her current relationship, or start putting the time and energy into making it work. Just running out is not a mature choice -- and why would you want to be with someone who has so little regard for the person they are married to?
2007-04-30 07:25:50 · answer #7 · answered by Jarien 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Find a single and available woman - don't go down this path! Chances are she will not divorce her husband for you and everyone will end up hurt. Respect the friendship but keep it there.
2007-04-30 07:49:31 · answer #8 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave her alone... she's vulnerable right now and your not going to help her much except to cheat like her husband did to her.This will end in disaster, for both of you.
I left my ex-husband for a women I met at work. We got close and he was a jerk. I thought it would be better with her....WRONG. All 3 of us wound up miserable.
I have since stopped living like a lesbian and am married to a wonderful Christian man. Life is better if you follow the order it is supposed to be.
2007-04-30 07:30:05 · answer #9 · answered by k.ritt 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why would you want to bail if you like this person, keep your friendship alive, a good friend is hard to find, also if more happens even better, as long as you both enjoy each other
2007-04-30 07:39:51 · answer #10 · answered by mrseahorse1 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋