My husband and I are going through a lot of things and I"m really just tired of his ways he doesn't work and he doesn't really help me out around the house. I used to date my friends brother and he and I have been spending some time together. However he is married just like me and he and his wife are not getting along. He just moved back in with her and I don't know what to do because I'm always thinking about him but I'm not sure if he feels the same way. I would like to leave my husband for him but I think it will not end up the way I want. So what should I do because it's hard for me to stop calling him and each time we can't talk because it's hard for me to get away from my husband he is always around and in my face 24/7 he won't let me got out with my friends or anything so how should I fix my problem?
2007-04-30 06:52:18 · 14 answers · asked by laeloni_2004 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
well- from what your are telling us it doesn't seem like you 're in love with this guy (your friends' brother) because he you were you woulnd't be married & neither would he. I think what's going on here is that you have so much issues with your husband that you've found a way "out" and by hanging out with this guy it's like starting a whole new romance so all you feel is the excitement of being with someone new and i can bet you feel comfortable with this guy because you don't argue and you feel that you both understand each other just because you are both going through similar situations. Trust me- by this point i'm sure your husband knows or has an idea that you're 'doing things" behind him and this is only making things more complicated for the both of you. My suggestion to you is stop talking to the other guy- focus on your marriage and trying to make things work. The guy you are secrectly seeing may have problems with his wife but he's only telling you his side of the story and i think you shuold be ashamed of even thinking about leaving your husband for this new guy. You barely know him as a man. Seems like you're just infatuated with him but its not lvoe and you won't realize it until it's too late. Have you seen the movie "unfaithful" ? it's with Richard Gere & some actress who's name i don't remember check it out and you can decide from there. My advice to you- don't do it. Sounds like you're hurt by waht's going on in your marriage but by looking for "love" or "attention" in another man you're only making things worse for you. Good luck and leave the other man.
2007-04-30 07:07:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Work on your marriage first and then consider any other options. You should realize that this other guy is not really an option. Not only is he married but he moved back in with her despite their having problems. I think in your mind, you see him leaving his wife, you leaving your husband, and together the two of you escaping any conflict. Little do you know that it will be the beginning of more problems than you can even imagine right now!
Why are you calling him? To let him know that you can relieve him of his irritating home situation with adultery?
You are tired of your husband's ways? Usually people look for much more substantial explanations for divorcing the other person but it seems you are headed full-steam ahead for divorce court. That is, unless you are willing to work on your marriage now.
You can't fix your problem. You are essentially asking for a way to get this guy away from his wife. Good luck with that.
2007-04-30 07:04:26 · answer #2 · answered by kathyw 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all your husband sounds like a controlling tyrant who doesn't want you to go out (other than to work obviously) because he's got it good. He's not working & having to deal with the house (no matter how hard you seem to beg, I get it). "Let you go" means he's attempting through psychological means to alienate you. This isn't right. Let's set aside this OTHER man for a second. That's another issue all together. You need to resolve this marriage one first. You need to go ahead I think & meet with an attorney. You are unhappy & your husband doesn't seem to want to fix that, just milk the ride while he can. & don't think once his tune changes, when he's inches from being out the door that he will change, I promise you he won't. So get yourself out of your own marriage first. Don't end it for some other guy, end it for your own reasons. If you're just simply afraid of being along you're going to have to get over that. As for this other guy, if he's not happy I'd advise the same, but not to be with you. If after some time (& I mean a year or so) has past & you are both single & resolved of the current marriages, then sure seek out dating for a while. BUT I'd disentangle from the loaf on the sofa first, otherwise he might end up taking all you've got in the divorce because you committed adultery. Depends on the state you are married in I guess. Just dump the jerk first before you do anything, regardless of how the other guy might feel.
2007-04-30 07:03:33 · answer #3 · answered by kitty 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he's moved back in with his wife, let them work things out. If you are not happy with your husband then move on. Don't go from one man's bed to another. Stand on your own two feet, then if your "friends brother" decides to leave his wife then you two should start slow especially if there are children involved.
2007-04-30 06:57:20 · answer #4 · answered by Lisa D 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He "wont let you go out"? You are in charge of you not him. I dont think that having an affair is the answer. If you dont want to be with him, get a divorce. The other guy is not going to leave his wife and if he does it probably wont be because of you. You need to think about what you want and what would be best for you. Is there children invovled? if so you have to think about them too. How would this effect them? Think before you leap!
2007-04-30 07:02:37 · answer #5 · answered by daisydownsouth 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Obviously you dont want to be with your husband.I hope no kids are involved.If you dont want him anymore I would leave his butt and follow your heart.Even if you dont end up with the other guy.At least you will be away from the one holding you down.
Next time make sure you find someone who you are compatible with.That will work and help build a life rather than trying to ride your out.I dont know you,but feel everyone should be happy.
2007-04-30 07:09:29 · answer #6 · answered by kenneth h 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all is there children involved on either side? YOu need to put them first before you. If there is, then I sugget you seek out a counselor to try to fix things that aren't right between the two of you. If either of you don't want to go that route then I suggest on getting a divorce before you go cheating around on him. Sounds to me like you are too young to be married becasue there seems to be commitement issues and possibly the fact that you didn't have your freedom before you got married to settle down.
2007-04-30 07:00:56 · answer #7 · answered by Mel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
certain. human beings are able to transforming into and loving and arising deeper relationships with age and time. human beings can imagine they have discovered their "soul mate" as a teen after which turn round years later and comprehend that they have discovered a mature love that thoroughly blows each and every thing else out of the water.
2016-11-23 17:31:09 · answer #8 · answered by lacuesta 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I'm kinda in the same situation in more ways than you could imagine but I would tell you to go with your heart with caution b-cuz you have to make sure that he is feeling you like you are feeling him and not just telling you what you want to hear to get the goodies.
2007-04-30 07:00:54 · answer #9 · answered by 2sexy 2cute 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Leave your husband and find a nice, single man to fall in love with.
2007-04-30 06:58:42 · answer #10 · answered by whitexsaucer 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋