HELP! how can i seriously improve my social skills?

Question

i'm really upset with my life. i'm smart, athletic, funny in my own kind of way but i suck with people. i grew up in an environment and am not accustomed to kindness. i have a hard time dealing with others. i have very minimal friends. i want to be more social, yet don't want to compromise myself. someone told me i should be in college or something but thats not a reality at the moment. what are some of the ways i can accellerate my social development? i'm really serious about this...and have thought about suicide because i feel like i'm invisible to people. i always give the wrong impression with myself and it is really annoying me. i have minimal friends (but) alot online. i'm really bad with real interactions (face to face) with people. please someone help me out! you seriously have no idea how annoying being socially inept is.

Answer 1

Sometimes we get so far down the road that we have forgotten what we 'decided' in childhood about ourselves and the rest of our tiny little world. Growing up with these same value judgements is the source of many unexplained fears and predjudices. As the world becomes much larger, as adults we find ourselves reacting 'automatically', hence- our social problems.
I found that writing down on paper the people and things that I resented, followed by honestly looking at each one, then admitting what it was I felt threatened about, laid the foundation for a long heart-to-heart talk with a friend I trusted.

Answer 2

It sucks to feel like the odd person out, especially if you have always felt like you didn't fit in, to some degree. I would suggest arranging a face-to-face meeting with some of your Internet friends, for starters. I'm guessing you already know each other pretty well, to some degree, so it would not feel too awkward to have a meeting in person with one of them, since I presume you have a lot of common interests. After seeing how well the face-to-face interaction with an already established buddy goes, you will maybe be able to let your guard down and open yourself up more to meeting new people in social situations.

Have you thought about joining a club or sports team that reflects your personal interests? It's a great way to meet new friends, and if you're doing something you're good at/ passionate about, you will feel more at ease with others. Good luck to you!

Answer 3

Okay, may I suggest that you take a chance. You compromise yourself every time you start a conversation with some one. I understand the lack of kindness in your life. When we are children the things that happen to us is not our fault. However when we become adults we must take responsibility for our problems. And in a way you have. You have ask for help. Go to a counselor. Maybe if you open up to a counselor you can open up to others. Good luck. You sound like you have a lot to give society.

Answer 4

baby steps, baby steps. Rome wasn't built in a day, so don't try to turn your life around in one. The first thing you need to do is get comfortable talking to people. Go to the mall or the closest thing you have to one near you. Practice small conversation so you can become comfortable talking to people. The secret to being considered a great conversationalist is to ask the other person to talk about themselves. People love to talk about themselves. If you go to the mall, talk to the people who work there - they have to talk to you. Ask them their opinions on anything - the items for sale at their store, the weather, how their day is going. In most cases, they will engage in a conversation because they are bored. If you run across one who hates their job and won't talk, don't take it personally. Find someone else. Do this as often as you can - every day if possible. Make a lot of eye contact. It is easy to feel invisible if you don't look into people's eyes.

THEN try joining a club or finding a hobby you can share with others. It won't do any good to try that first if you aren't comfortable talking to people. Use the exact same techniques - make them talk about themselves, and try to agree with their points of view where ever possible. If you don't agree, don't say so. Just say something like "That is very interesting" and change the subject, or ask them for the reasons behind their opinion. You actually have to do very little actual talking - just lots of listening! - to be considered a great social person.

I was socially awkward myself - I wasn't comfortable talking to people. I also did something else to help me find things to talk about with people - I studied personality science, so now I can talk to someone for a little while, figure out their type, and then tailor my conversation to the types of things they are interested in. I can tell which people will want to talk about shopping and the latest fashions, and which people will want to talk about sports and their vacations/adventures, and which people want to talk about deep intellectual stuff. It works great for me! IThere is a link below if you want to learn more about personality science.

Answer 5

i understand precisely the place your coming from, i became precisely the comparable. those days i throw myself accessible, basically factor became i became pushed into it by using moving to a clean city whilst nonetheless in highschool. yet once I became 18 i've got been given a job and it became in shopper provider, it became undesirable i blushed every time i had to communicate to a shopper and felt clumsy and stupid. It became additionally between the biggest advantages i've got ever gotten, after some weeks i felt myself popping out of my shell and commencing to place myself accessible. Sorry for the existence tale yet i assume my element is, as complicated because it could look, positioned your self in a difficulty that forces you to return out. may appear harsh yet its the final feeling ever. sign in for volunteer artwork or something of he style. certain it's going to artwork and you will experience so plenty extra perfect. good success!

Answer 6

from when you write you question i see that you are already social, but, you need to have more friends.

ok here it is!

people see you as a good funny person and i personaly know they like you.

when people see you and they like you and try to talk to you but, you have to put your part too.

all you have to do is say something to them like 'HI!' or nice day isnt it? or hey how are you doing today?.

something like that.
that wiil give you a start

also tell your friends to tell you about their friends.

OKAY! the whole point is that you are not alone!

Answer 7

If you are not autistic,then I would try going to church and participating in the various organizations(youth,young people,singles,young adults).This will allow you to slowly get to know different people and them to know you.