My husband wants me to have sex with another woman, what should I do?

Question

Please help! I have been married 10 months and my husband has sprung it on me that he wants me to have sex with another woman while he watches! I am so not into doing that but I am scared if I dont he will leave me for someone who is willing to do that for him! We also have a 13 week old son so I fear he will leave me a single mum! I love him and would do almost anything for him but NOT that! Please please give me advice on what I should do!

Answer 1

Just because you fear he will leave you, and he suddenly is springing this on you doesn't mean all is lost! And it doesn't mean he is a bad person! I don't know how old you are, or how experienced you are but one of the things that comes with marriage is sharing fantasies and desires. He may feel very close to you, and want to open up about certain desires even though he knows they will never happen in reality. You don't say anything about him threatening to leave, or not loving you, or not loving his beautiful new child. Is it possible that he is just expressing his fantasies to you?

Here's the bottom line: NEVER do anything you don't want to do sexually. And if your new husband is ACTUALLY threatening to leave you and your little baby over this, you leave him first.

Love yourself.
Love your baby.

Answer 2

look sweetie, u're not the first of the last with this terrible issue... don't let this be an issue that u can't deal with, because in marriage u will be in a few...

simply say no, that u're obviously straight and commited to him and only him and that ur vows didn't say anything about bringing another partner into the relationship.

and another thing- don't think that u are obligated to do this, and if u're husband does leave u - then so be it! u will not be the only single mother in the world- many have done it and still stand today- u should ask ur self why ur husband all of a sudden wants this from u... good luck and don't be afraid to stick up for ur selfrespect.

Answer 3

It's a fact that when married couples start bringing other people into the bedroom the marriage goes out the window. Very few people can handle relationships that involves a third wheel. Both people have to be able to handle it. In your case you don't want to do it and not willing to do it, and don't think for a minute that your husband won't want to jump in on the fun in the heat of the moment. Most men fantasize about threesomes!!! If you open that can of worms the marriage won't last...

Answer 4

Definitely don't degrade yourself like that and if you feel that that is inappropriate, then tell him to take a hike. You should ask why he would ask you to do something like this if he loves you. But something that we don't know is what his motivation behind marrying you was because if we look at the time table of you being married for 10 months and having a 13 week old baby, then did he marry you because you were pregnant? Because if he only married you because you were pregnant then he doesn't respect you in the first place and that is why he would ask you to do something like that.

Answer 5

Personally, he wants to have sex with that woman and is using you as the means of getting to her - if you do this the threesome comes next, followed by " You're outta the picture"

I would tell him, " The Day you have sex with another man is the day I'll consider it - - - NOT !! "

Is he from Vegas? They do love to gamble meaning ... " Isn't he taking a big chance that if you were to go that way you would toss him and have her move in...there would be no reason to have Mr. Spectator"
And you may want to lay that on him too....tell him, " if you do this then you are gone and I'll just have a woman move in., But I would never tell you that until after you were pumped by The Man." Let him smoke on that wad....

Answer 6

First of all if you are in a relationship where you feel that if you DO NOT do something the other person wants because you feel terrible about it - then you are not in the right relationship! Secondly - NEVER do anything you dont want to do - EVER! If he leaves you over it - say "BUH BYE!" Third, are you certain he was not just going into "fantasy land" - men are visual creatures & two woman together for whatever reason are a turn on for them - fanatsies DO NOT have to be acted on, they can remain fantasy.

Answer 7

If you don't want to do that then don't! He is being a jerk. If you think that he'll leave for that then let him go. You deserve better. Your son deserves better. It's better to leave now than when the baby is older. I'm sorry he put you in this position. He is selfish. I have done 'stuff' with my wife but only when she wants to its always mutual. No one should be forced to do something they don't want to do. If you do it it won't save your marriage and you will lose some self-respect. Be happy and be a good mum!

Answer 8

You two have been married 10 months and he is asking you to do this? Did he make it a condition? Did he say that if you dont do this he will go somewhere else?

I thinnk you really need to talk to him about this. Say to him that it doesnt interest you. That you fear that if you don't do this it will a negative affect on the marriage. That he needs to reassure that he will not go somewhere else because you are not willing to do something like that.

I am willing to bet he would not go somewhere else that it was a suggestion. no man should expect this.

Answer 9

That has always been every mans fantasy. You answered your own question. Do not EVER do anything that you are uncomfortable with. #1 if he truely loves you, he would not leave you, nor would he ask you to do something that he knows you are uncomfortable with. #2 Sex outside the marriage can hurt the relationship. It will never help you to be closer. Talk with God.

Answer 10

If you don't want to do it don't do it. It's that simple. Tell him no and tell him not to ask you again. Some people are the type who like to push others in relationships and see just how far they can get them to go. Often when one finds him or herself with this type of partner, it just takes putting your foot down once and they understand that that's an area that they can no longer do any pushing in. To put it simply, say "no" and he will respect you, say "yes" and in his eyes you'll become a doormat and he will just keep pushing to see what else he can get you to do against your principles. If he leaves you're better off without him. Then when your son's fully grown and asks why you split up his father can be the one to explain it to him.