If I am overracting to my sis in law cooking in my kitchen without asking me then what about a mans stuff?

Question

My brother or his brother in law would not come to our house and use his barn tools, compressor and work in it with my husbands tools without asking him or talking to him first so why should I be happy that my sister in law I have only been around about 8 times who lives out of state think its ok to call her brother not me and come up, be cooking at my house when I get home. I just would never do that to anybody I have even known for a long time so why should I have been happy about that then my husband and her husband had to go to the store to buy corn mean because I did not have any when the last time she came I asked her to discuss plans with me instead of her brother since he does not always remember to tell me. My husband has never been married or lived with anybody and he is 59 years old so now please share your feelings with me anyone because my husband will not even talk about it, I am just wrong to him. Thanks

Answer 1

Punctuation. It is way too much work to read that.

Answer 2

You are prob. feeling left out and having another woman coming to your house and cooking instead of you is insulting. You are right to overreact, how can she call your husband and not you then come in your house in your kitchen and cook with your stuff without asking or proposing anything to you, like you were invisible. Or maybe she thinks she cooks better then you...that's why. It is insulting!!! But it is still your husband sister, you can mention something about it, but stay polite, say something like Oh thanks for the food, you should of told me, i would of helped you or even prepare a desert. You husband will never understand because for him he just See's it as a nice thing .

Good luck

Answer 3

How petty can you be? Did she "break" your kitchen? Did she not clean up after herself? What was the problem? Did she walk in off the street and just start to cook? Did she think that she had "permission" from you hubby? And, what would happen, if your brother came over and your hubby wasn't home, and your brother asked you if he could saw a piece of wood at your hubby's garage, and he cleaned up after, and didn't break anything. No big deal is it? I don't think so. I'm not saying that you shouldn't be proud of your kitchen, but, give me a brake. If you are so concerned with it, why didn't you put a padlock on everything, to make sure that no one steals anything?

Answer 4

Family is family and you aren't going to come between them. If my husbands family came into my home and did the cooking, then id be thrilled. But I tell everyone that once they are in my home once they should help themselves. No big deal. Just all in how you feel and you apparently took offense to her nice gesture of cooking a meal. It is his sister so plans should be made by him and her, discussed with you after.

Answer 5

You are wrong! You may not know her well but that is her brother so she knows him and he knows her well. As far as my brother I wouldn't call his old lady either, I would call him and tell him i was coming or even show up at his house. Thats what brothers and sisters do. Sounds to me as if your jealous of the sister and your husband taking her side. Let it go and start being the sister in law you should be.

Answer 6

Are you upset because they came to visit? Do you just not like her?

If I came home from work and found relatives visiting and they cooked dinner, I would sit down and enjoy the meal and their company.

Your husband doesn't want to discuss this because it doesn't make sense. Does your family have to check with him before they are allowed to visit?

I'm not trying to be rude, I just think you are being mean.

Answer 7

Yeah your over reacting. I would give anything for my brother in law or sisiter in law to come over and cook! Hell i'd open a beer and sit back! I think she was trying to be nice. You should enjoy your day off. Tools are different.........they are meaningful to a man. Unless you are absolutely addicted to your kitchen who is it hurting? As long as she cleans up - man, for real - relax it's really not that bad.

Answer 8

Over reacting...Sounds like your relationship with your sister is law is a friend and not sister relationship. If you truly feel like this just sit her down and tell her again, that it bothers you. Don't make up excuses, if you don't want ANYONE in your kitchen say that, but if it's just her, explain that you'd rather her not, unless she discusses it with you. But it really sounds petty, doens't sound like it happens often and as long as she isn't doing it in spite, get over it. If she is doing it in spite just tell her you don't appreciate it. But ask the real question, WHY does it bother you?

Answer 9

You may be overreacting. Just let your SIL know that you are somewhat territorial about your 'space' and to please call YOU if she wants to use your kitchen for anything except making coffee. Your husband is a man. They are too stupid to figure this out.

My sister, who lives in a rural area--never locks doors except at night, thinks nothing of my showing up, if she and hubby are out, and starting dinner, while I tend to be territorial about my cooking area.

Answer 10

i think your overreacting. shes being generous and nice. if she made a mess in your kitchen then i would complain. but i think she is trying to be nice by having a nice meal prepared for you when you get home. don't be so bitter and be appreciative of her kind gesture.

Answer 11

You need to lighten up my dear. There are so many problems in the world and this is a major issue for you?????