We are constantly over-budget every month. I have discussed the matter with my wife and she admits that spending is a weakness for her. There are a lot of pressures to buy stuff especially from the kids. How can I loving communicate to my wife that she needs to spend less than what we make? We have a budget but she doesn't seem to want to stick to it.
2007-04-30 03:45:55 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you've already discussed it and she admits she has a problem, she's chosen to ignore you and keep spending. "Lovingly" hasn't worked. She's selfish and self-centered if she refuses to listen or change. You need financial counseling
2007-04-30 03:48:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Spending money is like an addiction to some people. It is so hard to stop doing it, even if you know you don't have much to spend and there are still bills to pay. If you have already communicated with her and her spending habits are still not working, she may need some counseling. Does she have a job? If not, perhaps you could bring it up to her... watchfull of your choice of words to not offend her, tell her that perhaps she would be happy to get a job so she could have her own spending money, that way your paycheck can be used to cover the bills and if possible to start saving for the future. Get her to know and understand that the more money you can save in the bank account, the better your future will be, particularly for a rainy day, that way you won't have to depend on loans and more depts. Good luck.
2007-04-30 11:13:51 · answer #2 · answered by Faith . 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down with her and say. Honey, I love you so much, and you are the most loving and giving person I know. I know that you love the kids to death and you want to give them everything, but we finanical are just not able to do that .
If we do not start staying with in our budget we are going to not even afford to keep ourselves. What can I do to help you with your spending. I know it is hard for you to say No to the kids. You can make me the bad guy and tell them I am the one that has set up the budget and we just can't go over it any more. Ask her if you had her credit cards for a while until she got use to saying No to the kids. Get her a new credit card with the limit that she can spend each month . Tear up the others. Good Luck.
2007-04-30 10:57:31 · answer #3 · answered by springer 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try this at once: the 50/30/20 spending plan...
. 50% for all necessities
30% for fun stuff, luxuries, etc.
20% for saving, investing..
Of course this is just a starting point; you can 'tweak' the figures to suit you....maybe 30% for saving/investing, etc...you get the picture....Just tell her this is it; no 'lovingly' can be involved since she obviously ignores you or doesn't want to try to hold back on her spending habits..at least with this plan, she'll have some guidlines...What are necessities? Just pretend you lost your job today, THEN what would you be spending money on? food, lodging, utilities, etc...get the picture? I've been using this plan for over a year and wish I'd had it when I was in my 20's!! it'd have made life a lot simpler!!! Please discuss this with her, and tell her to give it a serious try!!! Good luck...
2007-04-30 11:02:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh, boy this one's right down my alley.....does she have any type of depression prob? Or just can't resist the spending? I have Manic Depression and have maxed out all my cards. I'm being treated for it now and have cut WAY back on EVERYTHING that deals with spending $. (time to pay the piper....) The biggest thing she has to remind herself is that ya'll have to pay for it in the end. Ask herself, "do we really need that now?" Especially if it's a regular carried item by the store. It's HARD.....so I understand her weakness. And I was brought up to not use credit cards, pay cash for all, etc....Good luck!
2007-04-30 11:06:53 · answer #5 · answered by Kelly773 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a cousin that takes her husbands checkbook and credit cards to the casinos every weekend and drops at least $2000.00 at a time or goes on shopping sprees that cost him at least $1000.00 eash time she goes and so on. I have talked to him about it and he finally changed the account numbers on all of his cards and keeps them in a lock box hidden away from her. Well now, she has been going through withdrawals ( yes, she is an addicted to money) and is extremely upset that she cant have her $25,000.00 boob job because she cant get to his money. I hope for your sake she isnt as bad as my cousin but I suggest that you do what he did by changing account numbers. If you dont you could be forced into bankruptcy and could lose it all. There is no such thing as a money tree and she has to realize that. GOOD LUCK!
2007-04-30 10:58:57 · answer #6 · answered by daisydownsouth 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's very lucky to have a husband like you.Very few are like that.If she is using a credit card then take it from her for safe keeping.Just give her enough money for all your needs not wants.A budget is important to keep us going.Remind her that it is hard to be bankrupt.
2007-04-30 11:17:50 · answer #7 · answered by M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey the budget was the "loving" communication.....other than that it's just doing it...sticking to it..break habits....next step is take away credit cards and checkbooks...she's got to understand the concept of a tank...water goes in....water goes out....too much water goes out...the tank is dry....and everybody goes thirsty and dies....
2007-04-30 13:21:58 · answer #8 · answered by prouddaddy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit down and talk with her. Tell he how you feel about this. She is in a partnership and if she help set the budget, then say you feel she isn't keeping her part of the plan.
2007-04-30 10:50:55 · answer #9 · answered by Jan C 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
let her know if she dont stop buyin that stuff then there isnt going to be n e money left to buy n e thing else and then what is she going to do when she broke
2007-04-30 10:50:29 · answer #10 · answered by vora 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋