my husband's grandmother will not take down the picture of him and his ex?

Question

she knows it bothers me and she says "oh i know you are not jelous,that's his past" but why would she keep it up there if she knows it bothers me?

Answer 1

She may have loved the ex-wife and wants to keep it is a memento, which does not mean that she does not love you or wants to inflict any harm. Probably it would be best to get a new picture done of you and your husband and present it to her to see what she does with it. Then you will know.

Answer 2

Why would you ask her to take it down if you know that she likes it as a memento of her grandson's life? Why does it matter if it's up there or not? Do you think that if she takes the picture down that your husband's past changes? And, even if it did change the past, do you think that his life would have still taken a path that lead to you, that made him into the man that you love today? Or, without his past as it was, would he be someone completely different & with someone completely different, now?

You can't change reality. Why not just be happy that everything happened as it did so that he could be with you, loving you, now?

I, personally, like looking at my husband's wedding picture from his first marriage. I like seeing what he looked like, then. I like wondering what he was thinking at the time the picture was taken. I feel sad for him that he was probably hopeful & happy, when I know that the marriage ended up not working out like he was probably hoping it would. But, at the same time, I wish that I could have been there, that day, whispering in his ear - "Try to find the happiness when you can. It's going to get a little crazy for a while, soon, but don't worry, there's happiness & light on the other side & things will get so very much better, I promise".

Answer 3

The next time you are over at her house, and she says that, just say "Oh my gosh, I am so past that, I can't believe you are worried that my feelings might be hurt, if you like the picture please keep it up." And, the next couple of times you are over there, don't even look at it. If she makes the comment every time you are over there, just keep repeating what I suggested. Even if it makes you really mad, don't show it. If she is doing it to get to you, if she sees it doesn't anymore, she will eventually take it down. She just might be an old lady who loves pictures, or it reminds her of a wonderful time in her own life. You have to just let it go, even if the picture stays forever.....the ex sure didn't.

Answer 4

My ex's mother did the same thing. I thought that she did it just to get under my skin so I tried a few tactics.

1. I went out of my way to show her that I was not jealous at all. In fact, I mentioned once before that he looked like Matthew McConaughey, which he looked nothing like.

That didn't work. She just smiled at me and said, "Doesn't he really?"

2. So I slammed a hole into the wall while I was carring out a bed rail. Then I took down the picture with the excuse that I was repainting the wall.

Few days later, it somehow found its way back on the wall.

3. So I just took it down and shoved it inside some insulation material in the attic.

She started looking for it.

4. So I talked to Lisa, my ex, and told her that I didn't want a picture of her and her ex on the wall.

She agreed and had a word with her mother. Her mother looked surprised and said, "Oh honey, why didn't you just say so?"

Did you try just telling her that you don't like to be reminded of his past, but would rather look forward to the future with him?

Answer 5

Some people like to bother others. My mother-in law didn't take down the pictures of my husbands Ex until three years ago. We have been married for almost seven years. So I know the feeling . Just bare with it. Or when shes not looking take it down yourself or ask your hubby to remove it.

Answer 6

Because some people just don't care about others feelings. It's not going to matter if you ask her to take it down because she is going to do whatever she wants.
She has not respect for you or your husband but because she is the grandmother I guess you'll just have to bare with it. It has nothing to do with jealousy it has to do with respect but some people just don't get that in life.
My boyfriend said that his ex used to carry a picture of her ex husband in her wallet "because that is her daughters dad". LOL
I wish ignoring the picture would make it all better but things aren't going to change. Sorry!

Answer 7

It is her house and this woman, like it or not, is a part of your husband's history. Think why this bothers you so much and come to terms with it. Your husband is in love with you and that is what matters.

Offer the grandmother a picture of you and your husband to hang up as well.

Good luck.

Answer 8

Grow up sweetie, she's an ex for a reason. I always think the same thing when I go to my parents house and they have a picture from homecoming of me and a guy I never even dated. They keep it up because it is a beautiful picture of me. Stop being jealous, he had partners before you and if a family member wants to live in that memory, get a picture of you and him and give it to her as a gift, she won't be able to resist putting it up!!! Show her your the boss!!

Answer 9

let it go.....
you are with him now, and thats what counts.
my mother still has the pictures of me and my ex on her walls, and snapshots on her fridge. we have been divorced ten years and i'm getting married in a month.
my girlfriend looked at them and ask my mother how old i was in it.
she said i was handsom and went on about her business.
i will always remember that. i didn't have to tell her what i am now telling you.
its just a picture. a snapshot of the past. just because you are not in it don't mean that other people might not want to remember it.
i have set down and shared some good memories with my ex with my girlfriend.
and i told her......... there are still times when i wonder what went wrong. but there are a heck of a lot more times when i am glad that they did. if you live your life looking behind you.......you will never see what is right in front of your eyes. him and you.

Answer 10

well, the way i see it is: you cant run the game, just play the game!

look: her comment implies that she knows it gets under your skin..so why let her score the points? after all, you got the man...and its an old pic.

y'all take a picture together, and give them out to the family...parents and grandparents...shoot, if you want to make sure she can put it up buy the perfect frame for it so it will be easlier to set out...and be oh so sincere with it...

be a playa, playa with her and have fun with it....you already got the prize....just dont get into an argument over it with her....if its innocent she wont mind the second pic...hopefully its not cat games..

remember: even old cats have claws...