My husband and a lawyer at his job began an affair a few months back. I found out via the web. He and she planned to live in our historical home. (Apparently, I was not invited!) Since I had no idea he was unhappy, I'm wondering what they had planned and what I should do about it. (My lawyer only seems to care about money. I'd like to see the 2 schemers publicly flogged!) Any advice about how to go about this? (The divorce, not the flogging.)
2007-04-30 03:21:37 · 19 answers · asked by Jutta_8 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Firstly well done for being a truly strong woman for not sniffling about how much you still love the cheating rat and want him back.
First bit of advice. Get another lawyer who you feel comfortable with and trust that they will get what is right for you.
Secondly, Take the rotten pig for every penny you can get. I wish you luck x
2007-04-30 03:33:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry the situation has turned for the worst. Just a note, but can you really say you never noticed he was unhappy? Really? I think there are always warning signs of some kind, it's just a matter of recognizing them. I think you turned a blind eye to them. ANYWAY, kind of not the point now is it? I'd keep with the divorce ie the attorney glued to the money. I understand you are hurt & I'm not advicating you lay down & take it, but at the same time you are better off getting out of this as quickly & cleanly as possible. If they want the house (unless it was your families historic residence) let it go (but bleed him for your half of it $$). Just smile knowing that one of the two of them will eventually do this to the other. One day he'll cheat & dump her...they always seem to. BUT you honey, save yourself. Get over this unhappy hurdle & find something in this life that elates you, cause life is short...don't stay too bitter. Be aware, but don't be bitter. Good luck.
2007-04-30 03:30:57 · answer #2 · answered by kitty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your husband doesn't come home that is desertion. Call a lawyer and set up a consultation. Most times they are free. I am so sorry you have to go through this especially around the holidays. Surround yourself with friends and family to help get you through this. Tell everyone what he has done. Do not call her again. And when he comes for his things , let him get them and get out asap. Do not try to have a conversation with him or say anything to him. You have your 2 children to think about. They don't need to see or hear anything like that it will only frighten them. If you know he is coming and may cause a scene call the police or a family member and have them there until he gets his things and gets out.. Let him go without a fight. He isn't worth it. But fight for everything you can for you and the children. Some day he will live to regret this.
2016-05-17 08:28:26 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mother`s Ex did that to her. Unfortunately, she was in a bad situation in that they weren`t married and she had claimed she was single on some paperwork. She was also really sick and not up to a long legal battle.
The Ex and the new wife (who had been in charge of organising my mother`s care - to add insult to injury) ended up moving into my mother`s house. after they married ......................until she took him for everything he had....and he came back with his tail between his legs.
I am still so VERY angry about what he did....and angry with myself for letting him do it. I knew there was nothing I could do.......but also felt I should have found a way to fight for my mum.
Knowing that he and the b***h were living in the house that he and my mum had lived in just added so much insult to injury....it soured any good memories of the years we had lived there.
Not letting him walk all over you IS the revenge you need. If I had been able to fight better I wouldn`t feel so bad.
You must make sure that your lawyer knows that there is NO way you will let them live in the house....and to do WHATEVER is necessary to stop that happening. My advice would be not to give in on that issue. You can buy him out or the house can be sold, and both of you get new places....whatever.
Don`t move out of the house, refuse to divorce, sue for mental distress......any tactics your lawyer recommends. The more money you demand, the more he is going to have to give in to what you really want.
2007-04-30 05:57:37 · answer #4 · answered by psychokitty 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Interview lawyers, try to find a lawyer who would be interested in standing up for you and go get half of everything. Have him pay half of the house worth to you, everything split half. Give that SOB no breathing space!!!
2007-04-30 03:28:22 · answer #5 · answered by Jot 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you need to print that email or whatever it was out so that you have evidence that he was planning on moving into that house with his mistress...then give it to a lawyer who wants to hang him just as much as you do and take half of everything including his retirement while he's up with this women you'll stay be getting paid and moved on with your life....sounds sweet to me! lol
2007-04-30 03:28:44 · answer #6 · answered by Always Camera Ready 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I suggest you take every penny from him and then the two love birds can live in a freakin cardboard box together. I beleive that there is someone made specifically for everyone, so your true love is still out there somewhere. Make a new life for yourself and find him. Good luck.
2007-04-30 03:48:01 · answer #7 · answered by daisydownsouth 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a new lawyer since yours is only interested in money. make sure you get half of everything at least. start putting money asside in a seperate account that he wont know about so if things go wrong you have a nest egg. and good luck.
2007-04-30 04:32:41 · answer #8 · answered by becca_2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
gosh, thats a terrible truth to find out about...but i dont think a "professional" lawyer representing you would want to pursue personal revenge....
divorces always end up being about money and kids....i would confront him, ask him point blank if he wants to try to save the marriage with counseling and if not, then the legal system would pave the way....
i wish you the best...
2007-04-30 03:27:37 · answer #9 · answered by D.... 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move in first. Possession is 9/10ths. Also, if you are feeling really vindictive, call the HR at his work. I’m guessing they have a policy against interoffice relationships. That might back fire, since if your husband gets fired you can’t get part of his income.
2007-04-30 03:26:38 · answer #10 · answered by Robin C 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋