My husband left me cause of his lack of trust in me. He said I cheated him because I carpooled with my male co-worker to a training job site. I have never cheated on my husband. I was (am) in love with him and I do not understand why he did not trust me. He said I am sneaky. If he wants to come back how do I gain his trust? And how do I get him to go to counseling for his abusive behavior?
2007-04-30 03:04:43 · 13 answers · asked by shelly 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
abusers tend to think their partners cheat on them...its part of their make-up, and their excuse to justify their actions...
if he abuses you, you shouldnt want him back...you deserve better and can probably get better if you will move on...
dont do it girl...move on...you have an open door right now...and when he calls you with the song and dance story (and he will do that-typical of most abusers) keep moving in the same direction..away from him!
you CANNOT save him from his own destructive behavior, or lead him to the source of salvation...he has to see it and want it for himself.....
dont let yourself become another statistic of domestice abuse - physical or mental!
2007-04-30 03:10:32 · answer #1 · answered by D.... 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Comply with the phrases of Stone bloodless Steve Austin: trust nobody. No, seriously. Believe yourself first and most important. Probably you have got doubts and you are clingy due to the fact you might be insecure. I used to latch on to ladies due to the fact that I used to be insecure and immature. It wasn't unless I became extra independent and felt like I could preserve my own that I grew to become much less of a parasite. Maturity will trap up to you sooner or later after which you will know what you want more than you do now. In view that your identify is Surfer21 i am assuming you're 21 yrs historic. Once you turn 30 you're going to understand your 20s is only a continuation of your teen years. Being 30 is first rate seeing that it's like being forty and being 20 even as.
2016-08-11 05:57:06 · answer #2 · answered by faim 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is the one with the trust issues. But if you feel he truly is a good person worth working on, who has some bad qualities, maybe you can help him and save your relationship. Maybe he has a guilty conscience and has taken it out on you, or maybe he suffered from some abuse at some point in his life that he has never really dealt with, which makes it difficult for him to trust those he loves most. Past abuse can reak havoc on current relationships. To gain his trust, you may have to work on getting him to trust himself first and it is difficult to get anyone into counseling if they aren't ready and willing and if they do not recognize problems within themselves they need to work on. Try recommending couples counseling. Don't make him feel boxed into a corner and that all the problems are his. Do it with him so you can open up communication and maybe a therapist can help you determine a good course of action for building trust. Try not to be too hard on yourself because you may end up with some issues of your own. Take it one day at a time, be the best you can be and you can take comfort in knowing you have done all that you can to make it work.
2007-04-30 03:29:09 · answer #3 · answered by EENT 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, if he is abusive cut all ties and run, don't walk, run in the opposite direction he is going.
Second if you truly have done nothing wrong than you have nothing to apologize for. It has been my experience that untrusting people, more often than not, are the ones who are cheating or want to have a "reason" to sleep with someone else. He probably has some big skeleton in his closet either way it sounds like you are fighting to keep something that is no good for you.
What is this co-worker like?
2007-04-30 09:33:00 · answer #4 · answered by chaos24smith 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he has got an abusive, and jealous nature, then I would say give him the flick. Trust is not something that can be traded. Life is hard enough as it is, without someone making it more difficult. So if he does come back, and says that he trust you, how long will it be before he is saying the same thing.
2007-04-30 03:11:57 · answer #5 · answered by malroymck 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know I am so much younger than you are but why would you want to stay in an abusive relationship?!
Love yourself first!!!
My boyfriend told me that.
You know you aren't wrong so stop worrying about it.
Maybe he's the one who was cheating and just needed a reason to leave you so he picked the one meaningless act he "caught" you doing and made it a big deal.
Just think about it. Something isn't right about this.
2007-04-30 03:11:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
what kind of man would say that to such a lovely lady u sound to be.there s nothing wrong with u and nid to wory bout making hm to trust u,he s just giving same lame xcuses mayb he want to leave u.so here s a tip 4u,find out why he s feeling this way and just strait away ask hm to go for counseling wit u if he wants it to work out he wiill agree but if he doesnt try move on
2007-04-30 03:14:15 · answer #7 · answered by pudding 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't gain it back because you never did anything to lose it. It sounds like it has never been on offer. Sorry this doesn't help but he's not going to change. And as for abusive behaviour, you deserve better than being at risk of it.
2007-04-30 03:10:11 · answer #8 · answered by lou b 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually when a man acts this way and says these things its because he is looking for a way out. He wanted to leave. Are you sure he doesn't have a little something on the side? Check it out before beating yourself up so badly.
2007-04-30 03:09:39 · answer #9 · answered by Dixie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would want to be with a abusive person? Let me guess. You love him. Does he love you enough to trust you? I say no.
Some people never can trust. I would cut my losses and move on.
2007-04-30 03:09:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋