My gf is 5 months pregnant and she has been going through a lot since the pregnancy, her very unsupportive mom, hormones, placenta previa, and ups and downs with us mostly from her. She wanted marriage and I was selfish and stalled at first but I want to be married to her now and I want a family. She told me on Friday morning she need time to think of everything and on Sunday she told me she just doesnt feel the same about us and doesnt want to be together and gave no explanation. We are both 24. I do not want to be a single parent and dont know if her behaviour is from hormones. I am trying to be supportive but this is taking a heavy toll on me. I have lost 15 lbs just over the weekend, cant sleep, cant eat without getting sick, having suicidal thoughts, no energy. I have sent her a couple of emails saying I am there for her but I just feel like crap myself. I have no idea of what is going on or will happen. I dont know where to turn for help or advice.
2007-04-30 02:08:55 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I logged into her email as a one time thing just to see if she had read my email or blocked me and she did read my email and did not delete it nor did she block me and I am still on her yahoo IM list. I know it was wrong but I didnt do it to snoop around but just to see what had happened. I love her very much and I am scared for her and feel so bad for how she was feeling. I never knew a pregnancy would be so hard and to tell you the truth I never want to go through this again.
2007-04-30 02:11:15 · update #1
unless u are hiding something else, ur gf's overreacting.
BTW, emails,phone,etc.dont work. face 2 face is the only solution dude.
2007-04-30 02:23:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) Beautiful 2 dozen Roses to her house..and ask if you could have a minute to talk with her
2) Tell her that you're tired of being selfish, its not even a compromise..being with her is what you want more than anything..not only now, not just for tomorrow, but for forever
3) explain to her you are mature and ready to provide for a family..Work more if you have to. Be there more emotionally.
4) Let her know you'll give her as much time as she needs but that you are "excited" about the pregnancy. She is dealing with hormones, yes..but this is prob. not exactly what she expected either, and she probably wishes things were better with her mother,too.
5) Ask to take her to dinner to talk..and as far as the marriage goes:
If you have the money, I'd say go ahead and get a beautiful ring now.. or at least, see if she wants to be "legally" married for the sake of the baby, but then IMMEDIATELY start planning things for after the pregnancy for a beautiful wedding (if its what she wants) because if you dont mention it, shell feel like she got jaded on her dream wedding..
As far as being suicidal, call a prevention hotline
1.800.SUICIDE (784-2433
Believe it or not, they're extremely helpful.
2007-04-30 10:47:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, There's your problem right there. She wants to get married and have a family and is getting pressure from her mother. Her mother is not as unsupportive as you think,But is disappointed in her daughter and pissed at you, for not doing the right thing. Yes the hormonres are in flux, But with your foot dragging and not wanting to marry her, She figures you don't love her . If you do love her , Get off you butt and call her! Talk to her and let her know how you feel. If you really want to be part of this childs life, You are going to have to be there for her. Yes it is going to take a lot of hard work, But if you love her then it will be worth it. You said you were being selfish because you didn't want to get married at first, At least you admitted that much, But your attitude is still a bit on the selfish side. You stated that if you get married that you don't want to go through another pregnancy, Well that is a decision that BOTH of you need to make, Not just you!!!
Your main problem seems to be, Is you tend to think only of yourself, That's how this whole problem started in the first place. Now your going to be a father, Your thinking has to change, You must put your family's needs ahead of your own. I have 4 children of my own, It is a lot of work and sacrafice i must make for my family,But they are WORTH IT !!!
And your talk about suicide, What will that solve? NOTHING!!!
That's the cowards way out.. You'll be dead, She'll be hurt and wondering why you did it. And your child will grow up without a father. Not a very good solution is it? You need to talk to a councilor or priest, And work out your problems. And most importantly, You Need to talk to her and convince HER that you love her and want to marry her..
2007-04-30 02:53:27 · answer #3 · answered by master_escrimador 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just let her know how much you love her,and want her for her and that it has nothing to do with her being pregnant. Tell her how important it is to you to have both a mother and father in your childs life.....and that you intend to be there for the both of them because that is where you want to be! She is just having a hard time right nowand probably thinks that you don't really want her the way everything is right now..........especially since you stalled on the subject of marriage.You just have to convince her that you don't even know why you said that. Tell her you are just as scared for her and all that is going on and that you need her. That's all she wants to hear. Tell her that there is nothing the two of you can't face together because you love and care for each other. Tell her we can make it no matter what because you both have everything to be greatfull for ......what you mean to each other and the baby represents that. The child is an added bonus to both of your lives and being a family now is the most important thing in your life. Just call her and ask her to go dinner with you and tell her you have something you need to tell you. Then tell her your feelings.....just go hug her. Good Luck Sweetie.
2007-04-30 02:56:35 · answer #4 · answered by Lindsey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Her emotions are running wild here. For one, she is confused in many levels. The hormones aren't helping any. The fact that you were reserved at first about marrying her must of made her wonder if your change of mind could of been because of the baby only and not because you truly love her. Many women want to be loved by the guy who's going to marry them, and not just to marry because of the baby. I believe that she does love you, but is so confused right now that she's withdrawing from you, and perhaps thinking things over. Believe me, she is feeling just as bad as your are, if not worse... probably worse, to be honest. Do yourself and her a favor... stop thinking suicide. You will only make her life worse, and that's not something she should be forced to go through. How about the baby? What will she say to him/her? Your daddy took his own life? I know you must feel so terrible with emotions you can't control. Seek the help of someone else... professionally, if you must, but don't add to the pain of what she's going through. The way you're feeling is just temporary, (unless it's typicall of you to feel depressed and suicidal) and it should go away once it is resolved. Think about your actions and find the best way to help her and yourself resolve the issue. I'm sure once you show her that you truly love her and do want to be a part of her life, she will reconsider, but show her support, and don't get weak on her, how will that help her? The stronger you show her you are for her, the better your chances are at winning her trust in your love, as I think right now she may be doubting how far your love goes for her. Good luck.
2007-04-30 02:46:06 · answer #5 · answered by Faith . 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have the power to change things around. Don't let life control you. Only you control yourself. The brain is an amazing thing. Believe you can. I may be a stranger, but I do care about you. Because you can make a difference in someone's life. You really can. It can be difficult, but it's possible. So don't give up! Maybe find a purpose, a goal in life, and fight for it! You are as strong as you make yourself.
2016-05-17 08:13:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pregnancy can be a rough ride and 4-5 months is often a particularly emotional time, or it certainly was for me!
The likelihood is that she'll feel different in a couple of months and she'll be able to talk with you about what's happening.
Until then, just try to relax and wait it out.
Remember; 'This too shall pass'
Good luck :-)
2007-04-30 02:17:01 · answer #7 · answered by Claudia G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe send an email once in a while telling her you hope she and the baby are well, and that if she ever feels like talking to give you a call.
It could be the hormones. Just give her some space and time.
2007-04-30 02:15:19 · answer #8 · answered by Ella 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey buddy if u want things to change just make the move...tell her how ur feeling..not only "im here for u" tell her how u feel about her...everything u just said here. that u want a family w.her, and that ur want to marry her. b a lil more romantic. as u said she is going thru a though time rite now, give her a lil more support, bring her flowers, take her on a date, tell her how special she is 4u, and 4get that thing about "suicidal tho" ur having a baby on the way...wait didnt u just said that u dont want to be a single parent? what would happen if u do suttim stupid them? think striaght up buddy and go tell ur girl how u want things to be. good luck
2007-04-30 02:14:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
very tough situation and i pitty you, sorry its true. Well if you want to be with her i suggest you prove to her still that her and the baby is everything to you. Dont date other women coz she will feel like she made the right decision. Dont kill yourself either, think of your child being brought up with no father. They need you. Just be there for her, maybe eventually you will get back together,if not try to be the best father you can be. Talk to someone like a dr, your depressed.
2007-04-30 02:16:35 · answer #10 · answered by louise 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it makes you feel any better at all, you're not the first. Women are strange at the best of times, but when they are pregnant, (or even after that!!!!!) they can seem pretty fooked up to the male mind.
This is common and normal!
Don't be suicidal and stay off the fuken internet. (from experience)
Call your best mate, brother or even me. +61411987614
Hormones regularly turn guys into idiots, and we rarely even get pregnant!
Don't kill yourself (babe will need a dad)
You're going through a rough patch, but it will get better, and you will be fine in the long run!!!
2007-04-30 02:28:03 · answer #11 · answered by denny m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋