how do i begin to trust my husband again after an affair?

Answer 1

idk where to begin.... like i dont think they could ever get the trust back cause you know like this is part of history, its something theyve done and you cant go back and fix it. my dad had an affair.. and my mom (and myself) got hurt realllyy bad, i dont even know how to explain what we went through or what kind of emotions we felt after we found out. my mom still hasnt gotten over it but she just doesnt mention it as much. she had this like obsession with looking thru his emails after and his cell phone. and shes with my father today because of me... shes the strongest woman ive ever known. and i guess, when something like this happens, you have to make yourself strong or else you just fall and thats not something you want to live with. :\ good luck.

Answer 2

I will tell you it is very hard but you shouldn't have to do anything he is the one that needs to help you through this by doing anything you say,He is the one that should be begging for your forgiveness.Does he make you feel like your the most important person in his life, does he tell you over and over again and again how much he loves you. Does he call you several times a day when he is at work.If he does this it's a start towards trust.It can be put back but no where near what it was and it never will be, don't care what he does.

Answer 3

It takes time and patience from the both of you. You need to be able to talk about it with him and he should be open with you. He has to prove that he is worth trusting again and you have to be willing to take that risk. Not an easy road, some days it may feel like a roller coaster. You can't rush it when it comes to rebuilding trust. To even begin? It starts with you deciding if he's worth it.

Answer 4

Ask him. You have many decisions to make. Do you want to continue in the marriage? Do you want to separate? Do you want to have your own affair to "get back" at him? The real question, however, is how you feel about yourself. If you can truly love and accept yourself, then you will known whether you are willing to accept him. If you can accept yourself, the question then becomes not whether you can "trust" him but whether you can learn to live with whatever it is he is or was doing. Try asking him that question. And, if the answer is troubling, and if you're still interested in maintaining the marriage, consider couples therapy.

Answer 5

You can only begin once he's fully admitted all wrongdoing, repent of his behavior and does NOT try to blame it on anyone but himself and he is ready to accept the consequences of his actions. If he's still denying, or shifting blame or playing with your head or anything.. you cannot even begin to trust him again.

Once he's really ready to start working on things, he will be an open book and he will be able to do whatever needs to be done to support you as you go through this hell. It's a long hard road...

Answer 6

Time to heal. You may need to look at his values and if you feel that he truly wants to be with you. Communicate what issue was that resulted in him having the affair. Not to pass judgement, he was at fault, accept the blame, and evaluate his willingness to come back to the marriage. Trust will come in time.

Answer 7

It feels like you've been punched interior the tummy once you discover out, would not it? A breach interior the believe between a pair is amazingly complicated to fix. you'll continually be questioning, and jealous, and questioning your own self-well worth. What i imagine is disgusting is that he made you and the little ones go away your position of protection and protection. that isn't a good looking good signal and extremely complicated on the little ones. i be conscious of that's scary and doubtless no longer what you want to hearken to, yet my gut feeling is that you should artwork on looking your own independence and potential without him. position self belief in relations till you come again on your feet, and cultivate a good looking good non-romantic courting with him as a fellow verify. you'll discover that such loads of robust issues, possibilities, human beings, and reviews come to you once you're taking that leap, and your little ones would note of you more advantageous, as they see their mom residing with potential and dignity.

Answer 8

i tried taking back my first husband after he had an affair. it lasted a short time. i couldn't do it. i would get sick thinking about it. i was so devoted. that has been several years ago. right after i left him, i found out that he had an addition four more women he was seeing. (no joke). he has not remarried but all of his girlfriends think that they are exclusive. it's pitiful.

Answer 9

I don't know your husband, or the relationship you have, but I can tell you from experience you can deep down never trust them again.

Answer 10

if he doesn't get professional help he will do it again.can you live through all this again.your worth much more then that.if your willing to stay you have to forgive and forget because if you keep this in the for front of your marriage things will only get worse due to resentment.good luck i feel for you i truly do.this happened to me i had 2 kids with him,i was able to move on without him because he didn't only cheat on me but he cheated my kids out of love by always being preoccupied with this(little poor raised home-wreaking tramp)and that's what got to me.if it was just me then id just suffer,but do my precious angels dirty. well that don't fly.good luck!