Is sexual compatiability important in a long term relationship?

Question

or can you have a successful and fulfilling relationship based on other qualities?

I am not sexually attracted to my partner of 10 years but love him deeply - does that mean we are better suited to a friendship?

I would miss him profoundly if we said goodbye.

Answer 1

sex isn't everything. love matters more, but only you can say if you want to stay with him.

Answer 2

In a word, yes. Being on the same page sexually is an important part of every relationship. That said, it's just as important to know if the 'page' is the one with the big stop sign on it. For most people, though, the sexual aspect is a major factor in who we decide to spend our lives with; quite simply because our culture takes a very dim view of turning to one person for our spiritual and emotional needs and another for our physical desires. Put more simply, because sleeping around is taboo, we gravitate toward partners who fill our physical needs instead of our emotional ones.

Since every relationship is different - mostly because no two people in the world are the same - you need to be asking yourself some hard questions; questions that only you and your partner can answer.

What do each of you really want out of your relationship?
Does he know you're not attracted to him? Does it matter to him? Is he attracted to you? If so, is the difference in attraction causing a strain in your relationship? Is this lack of attraction a recent development, or have you always felt this way? What do you mean when you say that you "love" them? The answers may surprise you.
But yes, you can have a successful, fulfilling, long-term exclusive relationship without sex becoming involved. Gods know the divorce rate would be much lower if we were more worried about our mental and emotional stability than the sexual portion of our relationships.

Answer 3

That depends on you and your signifcant other.

I find sexual compatibility important, but not as important as other ways of being compatible. I think that having similar long-term and short-term life goals, similar spiritual and moral views, and a deep, loving attachment more important.

What about you? Is your relationship the type that you want with your partner? Does he have the qualities and characteristics you admire and desire in a man? Does he feel the same about you?

In addition, are you sexually attracted to others? What about others attracts you? Can your partner provide that type of attraction?

Communication is the only way for the two of you to enhance and deepen your relationship. And, it has to be a two-way street.

Answer 4

You probably like your friend & love him as a friend very much. My feeling is that sex plays an important part in a marriage in maintaining intimacy. It is a way to keep the bond of man/woman strong & healthy.

Many people live together w/o this intimacy; especially as they grow older but I feel that their marriage is missing an important component.

I watched an interesting show yrs ago where the host was interviewing marriage counselors. According to the psychiatric community, 33% of marriages exist w/o sexual intimacy. Basically men & women who live together more as roommates than husband/wife. They stay together becuz of family & history.

Personally, I would want more than that.

If you were to marry I suspect that aspect of your life would soon come to an end altogether.

Answer 5

I know that nobody is perfect and we all have our hangups. I started to get a little bored with my wife of 15 years but I never strayed. Funny thing is though she was wanting different and left me for it. We lacked in the sexual communication department. If you are not attracted to your spouse sexually I can almost bet that he already knows it. You don't have any lust for him try pretending with him that you guys just met and start dating again. Have a picnic at the park go to an amusement park in the evening and hold hands and kiss. I know you want romance and passion and guess what- that man who sleeps next to you at night wants it just as bad as you do! I dont use cliche's that much but try watering your own yard and see if it turns greener before ending your marriage. millions of people regret divorce and you do not want to live with regret. I know I'm rammbling because I'm tired and going to bed now. good luck!!!

Answer 6

Yes.

If I were your man, and you did not like sex, or worse - like sex but not with me, then I would call it quits. Mainly because, as a man I know, we are very insecure. If I have to live my life thinking that my wife wants sex with other men, or my wife would be happier with someone else, it would be a constant source of frustration. I think it would eventually eat away the relationship, and lead to divorce.

On the other hand, if you just don't like sex, period, then you and I need to get together. I would rather go fishing then do the horizontal bop.

Good Luck :)

Answer 7

Probably no more important than other factors. Do you vary your sexual style at all. If he has trouble getting "ready" and you have trouble getting "ready" maybe you need some variations (I don't mean to offend). Sometimes even your sex life can fall victim to the pressures of life.

Answer 8

No. Relationship is more than sexual chemistry. It being happy and comfortable with who you are with. If you wake every morning happy to see them next to you. Don't leave and end it over sexual compatibility. Work hard to keep your relationship happy in all area's.

Answer 9

When sex is great it makes up about 10 percent of the overall relationship but when it is bad or problematic it consumes about 90 percent of the relationship so....

Answer 10

sexuality is not the only criteria. but feeling are also to be considered of the partner . it is not only u who have feeling it is also ur partner . rather than ur feeling consider his & talk to him , be free