ok.....I am 21 with 2 lil girls (same dad) that I raise TOTALLY on my own..and I recently was dating a guy that told me he was separated, but I later found out he IS married, so we stopped talking. Then yesterday I found out Im pregnant. He wants me to have an abortion, but I dont think I could do that, but then again, I dont know, I just dont know, I have to make a VERY BIG decision. ALL my friends say to go through with the abortion, because he wont be around. Keep in mind, im not a dumb person, I just made a dumb mistake......what do you think I should do???
2007-04-29 18:45:24 · 22 answers · asked by (¯`·._.·[•·.·´¯`·.·• Ariana 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
You are already on your own with two, add the other for even more fun. You will regret it later( the abortion). HE doesn't want you to have it because it will mess up his other life. I wouldn't care he made the mistake and you should make him pay the price in child support, not to mention he deserves it for cheating. There is no reason why you should have an abortion and feel bad for it for the rest of your life. I promise you that it will hurt emotionally. That is not something I would suggest anyone to do. If you don't want the baby then you could put it up for adoption, then you have two girls who are going to want to ask a lot of questions and want to see the baby. Which may or may not be possible with the adoption. I think that you should have it. I don't believe you are dumb nor was it a dumb mistake. I think it was meant for you to have another baby. We all need more angels on earth and this baby is one as well as all children. I wish you the best. Don't listen to anyone but do listen to your heart. It will be tough but you can do it. You are a very strong woman 21 and raising two already all on your own, you can do it. There is plenty of goverment programs that will help you with it. My aunt has 4 kids two that are twins, she raised them all on her own and she was only 25 when she had the last. She owns a beautiful home and they twins serve our country in the forces and the other two are well still out there trying to find their thing in life and all are great. She still is on her own and refuses to marry.
We are all given challenges in life. You will do the best thing and you will pass this challenge with flying colors, you are strong and you can very well do it.
2007-04-29 18:58:53 · answer #1 · answered by supermommy 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
well since you are already a single mom of 2 girls, and at 21 (i am 21 and have two 5 month olds.... way exhausting!! lol) i think that maybe another option is key. but i don't believe in abortion. maybe adoption? there are SO many couples out there that want a child but can't have one. and there are open adoptions where you could still be involved in the childs life, and you get to choose the parents and couple. since he is married, i have to agree, sometimes they don't own up to their actions and he might not want to be involved due to his situation. so i say adoption, because i know i personally could never go through with an abortion. i don't think you are a dumb person either. everyone makes choices that aren't the best. but at least now you recognize that mistake. good luck!
http://open.adoption.com/
2007-04-29 18:52:54 · answer #2 · answered by ricleigh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The man is trying to protect himself from his WIFE and HIS SINS...
By MAKING you GIVE up a CHILD ,which would be YOUR heartache... NOT HIS.
YOU KNOW THE ANWER TO THIS. Your so called "friends" do NOThave to LIVE with the GUILT you will . Even if dumb man is NOT in your life.... KEEP the BABY. As you are NOT dumb, and do NOT NEED another "dumb mistake"....
MAKE BIG BOY TAKE responsibility or HIS L I E S or at least DUMP HIM permanently. You do NOT want a man THAT CHEATS on HIS wife.... as a boyfriennd OR Husband.
TWO wrongs do NOT make a RIGHT... and YOUR wrongs would be multiplyed by the fact you would always be treating YOUR two daughters differently if you aborted,,,,, therefore maybe even causing THEM a harder life if mommy is sad all the time.
2007-04-29 18:58:55 · answer #3 · answered by dbzgalaxy 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would not have an abortion...There are plenty of people who cant have kids that would love to adopt a newborn. Plus how would you feel in the end????? You might regret it til the day you die. If he told you he was seperated then it was his mistake and he has to pay the consequences. There is alot of help out here for single moms. You sound like a very strong person. I would have have the baby, file for child support and go on with my life he will be the one paying thew consequences for His mistake at least for 18 years.
2007-04-29 18:57:14 · answer #4 · answered by arismommy2007 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think as a adult and knowing that you can get pg that you should keep the child raise the baby just as you would your other two,make him also take on the child support dad he knew what chances he was taking. It isnt right to kill a child because of 2 adults having sex and not using protection, my sister had 3 younge kid's 5 yrs apart she done just fine,her middle daughter how ever got liked on a 4 wheeler. Have oldest child who is 24 have 3 very beautifull girls and she does great and by the way my sister also was a single mother, good luck on your choice .
2007-04-29 19:02:20 · answer #5 · answered by sleepyhead and babykins 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should be getting child support from this guy AND from the father of your first two children. Don't try to go it alone. Oh, and serves this guy right if you keep the baby - let him explain THAT to his wife. But if you can't raise three children, then look into 'open adoption' where you can keep in contact with the people raising your baby and get to see him/her regularly. There are lots of people who will want your child. After this, though, look into better birth control, and make sure you meet a guy's friends and see his home before you have sex with him. Get several phone numbers, not just a cell phone, too. And always use condoms!
2007-04-29 18:55:17 · answer #6 · answered by Katherine W 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Wow it really sucks that had to happen to you, but you sound like a strong woman who is really smart, everyone makes bad decisions sometimes. i am 6 months pregnant and thought about an abortion also. but i just couldnt, and it was the best decision of my life. you dont need a man to help you. you can do anything on your own. i would keep the baby, and do the best that i could.
2007-04-29 20:49:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't sound like you want to have an abortion, so don't.
Go to an adoption agency, find a loving family that you would like to help out. Let them help you out with the complete medical coverage, invite them to share in the joy. Recognize that you will be extending your family if you do, but also bringing joy to others.
Seriously, turn this "mistake" this Bad Situation, into something wonderful for you and for someone else.
That would be what I would do. Especially if I wasn't comfortable with the idea of raising another child. And then you would also have the chance to know the child, if from more of a distanced perspective, and know that you did something wonderful out of a bad situation.
2007-04-29 18:51:02 · answer #8 · answered by Chali 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Please don't have an abortion ... there are several better options, than just taking easy way out.
If you wanted to raise the baby yourself, you can always file for child support. If you feel a 3rd child would be too much of a financial burden, then adoption should be considered. It's obvious you have doubts about how guilty you would feel having an abortion, so I hope you won't allow your friends to persude you to do something you would most likely regret for the rest of your life.
Best Wishes to you
2007-04-29 18:50:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
It is not that babies fault that YOU made a mistake, don't do it and make that guy pay child support. Don't make another dumb mistake by aborting this baby.
2007-04-30 06:42:22 · answer #10 · answered by Hi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋