Ok, to start, my husband and I have dated for 4 years, been married for one. We are VERY happy together and love each other very much. He is older then I am, buy 13 years. We both are family oriented people and we want a baby so bad. We've been trying since we got married and got pregnant twice actually. Unfortunately both pregnancies ended in miscarriage. Since then we have both been check out & my OB gave me a hormone pill to kind of "help things along." I started taking them last month, with no luck. May 16 is my 21st birthday and my family and hubby all want to take me out to celebrate. Drinking, ect. But if I do that, then we will have to take a month of from trying, since I would be drinking. So i'm torn on what to do. Of corse a baby is more important than drinking, but everyone is like its your 21st, you should take a break and have fun! I don't want to wait to have a baby for a few reasons. My hubbys age is one, plus I want this so bad. Any opinons/advice would be great!
2007-04-29 18:39:04 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You should only do what you would feel good about later. Personally i would take a month off and relax have a great time. Also many men have children in their 40s now. I am 34 my husband is 52 and we have a 5 year old.
2007-04-29 18:43:44 · answer #1 · answered by lisalisa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
4years of dating is enough I think to know well each other, as you have said you're married for one year. Age does not matter.Your two times of pregnancies could be something that both should give proper attention. Try to do it again and when you feel it is there then the best thing to do is to have a complete bed rest. Never force yourself to do heavy load of work, your husband will have to silent his gun in order to keep the baby til it is strong enough. On your 21st birthday you can join the group but still you should avoid moving around and let the others do the things for you. No wine or any alcoholic drink and cigarettes. This is what we call self control. sometimes it takes a lot of time to have a baby mostly in women of 30's and above. Your still young and lot of energy so be calm and the right time will soon come.
2007-04-30 02:17:29 · answer #2 · answered by odi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, personally, I'd go out and have an awesome night and put off trying for the kid because as soon as that baby comes you won't be having any fun or at least for another 18 years. Besides, if you get pissed on the 16th, you can still try and get pregnant that night or any other night after that. You see, you'll just have to try and not get pregnant for what? About 2 weeks. I don't know when your ovulating or when your cycle is, but just don't try for the next 16 days.
You can even try on your birthday after getting loaded, just don't drink after that! Pregnancy doesn't occur right away. A baby won't get fetal alcohol syndrome if it is conceived on a night of binge drinking.
2007-04-30 01:57:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just hold off on the drinking if you were to become pregnant you would feel awful and be really worried. I was breastfeeding a new born on my 21st birthday and chose not to drink and I'm very happy with that decision. You're 21st birthday will only last a day but fetal alcohol syndrome last a life time, ok kinda tacky but true.
2007-04-30 01:50:32 · answer #4 · answered by MauiMomma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So you started dating a 30 yr old when you were 17?
I'm not trying to sound rude, that just kind of blows me away that your parents supported it.
Anyhow, a baby changes everything. Taking a month "off" from trying might be a good thing. If you keep obsessing on this, you will turn sex into a chore and stressing will not help the conceiving process.
2007-04-30 01:47:39 · answer #5 · answered by someoneoutthere 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
one or two drinks is not a disaster you are making it out to be...you do not want to become sloshed in any event...not a good idea. If you have been pregers before, it will happen again. It is very common to loose the first baby, even the second...I suspect that the next time will be fine...I wish you the best, relax and stop trying so hard...it will happen all by itself. And in the mean time, have some fun along the way. good luck
2007-04-30 01:46:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok...I'm NOT judging you (just from experience) but 21 and wanting a baby? You have got SSSOOOOO much time for that! He's got time too, he's only 34. Just really think about things because the age thing doesn't mean much now, but trust me, when you are 38 and he's 51, you WILL notice the age difference (especially when you've been together all that time).
2007-04-30 01:48:25 · answer #7 · answered by Lovetocruise 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say if it is more important for you that you have the baby... then don't have the party!!!!! It is true you only have one 21st birthday... but you are 21 for 364 more days of that year.... and then you turn 22, 23, etc....so see you won't miss out on nothing but on a possible continuance of your family legacy.
2007-04-30 01:45:27 · answer #8 · answered by Silent Bob 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tricky.. Maybe you should look at the time as if you were pregnant.. As if one of your other pregnancies was successful then you'd be happily sipping lemonade... :) Maybe think of another way that you can celebrate, minus the alcohol? :) But on the other hand.. one month won't make a difference..
2007-04-30 01:42:57 · answer #9 · answered by Emma 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can go out and celebrate your 21st B-Day. It's not required that you must drink alcohol.
2007-04-30 02:42:00 · answer #10 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋