Breaking the HYMEN: Indicators, Reactions, Feelings. (WITHOUT Intercourse; Frottage with a partner)?

Question

My girlfriend and I, her boyfriend, are becoming more sexual, and frottage, the act commonly known as dry humping, has become an activity that we partake in. We are both young, and thusly, inexperienced and without superior sexual knowledge.


Her hymen has been intact for her entire life, and she has never been much as curious to touch herself, nor has she used a tampon, ergo, making her hymen more suseptible to damage by any contact made to it. (I presume,after all, it is inelastic due to inactivity, making damage done to it simpler)


Whilst both of us clothed, she and I were kissing, and genital to genital stimulus occured, as in the past, and we are both gentle lovers, yet this evening she told me...


"I was bleeding"...


when she returned home and went to the bathroom.


She speaks of pain similar to ovulation, a bit of swelling. She had her menstrual cycle the previous week, eliminating that possiblity.


She spoke of a mucous like material within the fluids, and we concluded that hymen damage has taken place. Perhaps it no longer is in existence at all.


I am particularly concerned about her mental well being. I do not wish for her to fear intimacy, nor be traumatised by these circumstances that sexual activity is painful. She's a magnificant girl, and I do not want her to be afraid of herself, nor I.


Shall her pains subside quickly?
If they do not, what does this indicate?
What of her sexual views?
What can I, or should I, do to comfort her?
...Is her hymen truly broken? Is this damage..or annihilation?


I feel dreadful knowing that I've caused her any pain, and I wish to be informed somehow of what actions I should take, what she should take, if this changes her cleansing routine, sexual desires, or any thing else that I may or may not have mentioned in the former.

Thank you very much for reading(presuming, of course, you truly have). ^_^

Answer 1

There are other ways in which the Hymen can
be broken. Some women who do biking or
some other activity where they can get some
pressure in the area can get their hymen broken.
If you touched her wrong, then probably that's
what caused it. The bleeding will probably last
only a few days, so don't worry that much about
it.

You said she just had her period; sometimes a
few days after a woman has her period, she can
bleed again for a few days. I have friends who
go through that. Don't feel bad about "hurting"
her. After all if you two end up being together it's
going to happen (it's normal).

Answer 2

You sound like a thoughtful and intelligent guy. To answer some of your concerns: 1) Breaking a hymen causes a little pain, but it should subside, and she can take care of that pain with some aspirin. 2) Mucous shows up during ovulation. It changes a bit during the cycle, become sticky when she's not ovulating, and slicker when she is. It isn't related to the hymen. 3) Hymens can be damaged in many ways. It doesn't indicate virginity whether intact or not. 4) You both need to talk about where your relationship is going. Does she want to stay a virgin until marriage? Do you see yourselves getting married? Is she comfortable with your current sexual activity? These are important questions. I am glad you're thinking of her and caring about her. Just go on being a good boyfriend, thoughtful and considerate, and make sure she doesn't feel pressured to make out with you. Good luck to you both!

Answer 3

Don't worry about it. The pain can be there after awhile. Pain after losing your hymen hurts a lot on others and not so much on some. But I have to tell you that it hurt on me.

I was with a guy but he wasn't in me, we did have sex (you can have sex in all other ways aswell, it doesn't have to be intercource) I lost my hymen that day. We didn't do it by sexual intercource, he did it with his fingers because I was nervous about how much it would hurt. I was very very turned on and when he entered his fingers in me, I felt the most intense pain I have ever felt in my life. It didn't bleed but I'm happy he didn't do it with his penis as it would have hurt A LOT more. We all have to remember a penis is bigger than a finger. There is no doubt that my hymen is not there anymore as I can poke my fingers all the way in, I couldn't before.

If anyone are scared to lose their hymen, then you could do like me and the guy, and let the guy do it gently with their finger(s) it helped me out, so when I am going to have sex it might hurt the first few times but not the same as it would have if I had still had the hymen.

After my hymen was gone it was hurting, I was feeling an intense stinging/burning feeling and it didn't subside untill two days later (I am not used to stuffing up things in my vagina so I was sore)

You need to calm down because I'm sure that absolutely nothing is wrong. If the pain doesn't stop, she might have a yeast infection or a urinary tract infection, if that is so she needs to drink a lot of water to clear that up and if maybe go see the doctor to get a prescription of pills if the water doesn't clear it up.

I don't think her sexual views will be affected of this. Mine wasn't, I still want to have sex even though it hurt when I lost my hymen. If you have been fingering your girlfriend or had your penis inside her vagina, then her hymen is gone. If you want to find out you can ask her if she has felt a burning and stinging sensation downthere afterwards because that might indicate that it's gone.

As for how you should comfort her, just tell her soothing words and tell her how much you love her, cuddle her and kiss her, it always makes a girl feels better.

Answer 4

Back off now. You have said throughout this that you're concerned about your g/f and the best way to show this, to prove this is to back off, now. I'll explain as I go along.

First, the presence of absence of the hymen has nothing whatsoever to do with virginity. It can't possibly do so, as some girls are born without one. Further, the hymen is a thin piece of tissue and can tear in any number of ways, long before vaginal intercourse. The first experience of vaginal intercourse is when a woman loses her virginity.

Now, do each of you know how a man's body works, and how a woman's body works? I doubt it greatly, from some of the things that you've said. In addition, do each of you know specifically how each of your own bodies work? This is a must, because if you can't pleasure yourself, you can't possibly teach a potential partner now to please you. From what you've said about your g/f inthis regards, she has never tried to do this, and such, she's a few years, at least, away from being ready for some of the play you've been doing.

There's more. Are each or you, separately and together, both emoionally and financially capable of raising a child. No, you haven't gotten to that point yet, but you're in very dangerous territory right now.

Unless and until each of you can answer yes to every one of those questions and many, many others, you need to back off and each learn a lot more.

There's good new, though. I'm giving you a long, long list of links that will help to overcome the ovbious lack of sex ed for each of you. She needs time not only to read and understand all of this, but she also needs time to learn her own body, to learn how to masturbate, and to learn precisely what she does and doesn't like. You should be doing the same, and in your case, you should be concentrating on improving your ejaculatory control. Whether you stay with her or not, this will stand you in good stead in the future.

Now here's those links: