I dont want to hear about AA meetings because he wont go. He doesnt think he has a problem. He leaves my son and me to go drink with his freinds at their house or brings them over to ours and then I am left to clean up after them. When he gets close to me and kisses me it makes my stomach turn because of the smell of beer on his breath and then tells me I dont love him because I dont want to be near him when he is drunk. He always says I am overreacting. Am I overreacting? What would you do?
2007-04-29 15:35:59 · 10 answers · asked by daisydownsouth 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We have a 5 year old.
2007-04-29 16:01:59 · update #1
Daisy he is in DENIAL! Alcholics usually are! They think they dont have a problem. NO he doesnt care about AA meetings. What you need to do is STOP cleaning up after him and his friends. Your LETTING yourself be his DOORMAT! You CANT help you husband if he doesnt want to help himself. YOU ARE NOT OVERREACTING DAISY! You want to help your husband but he doesnt want it. PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN! I PERSONALLY WOULD tell him if he doesnt see that he has a problem and wont get help for it then he needs to leave the house because if he doesnt go you and your son will. Your son doesnt need to be around witnessing his dad being a drunk. That your not cleaning up after him and friends anymore either. Tell him you hate his drinking and dont appreciate it and that its starting to ruin your marriage. Tell him he needs to start being a husband and a father again.
OR
You, some family and friends could all do an itervention unexpectedly. Like one day when he comes home from work all of you are sitting there waiting for him to confront him about his problem.
2007-04-29 16:03:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Listn baby, Chris Rock put it best when he said you cant have a crack head and church goer live in the same house. "hi honey, want to go to church?" -No thanks, im just going to stay home and smoke crack.
You guys are living in two different worlds. You are no longer compatible. There is nothing you can do. He has the right to live his life the way he wants to. You have a great kid together,you shared some great times and now its over. Take the good stuff w/you and move on. Let him be. If u dont want him,let him find someone who does. Neither of u are meeting each others needs. Sorry, you got hit it or quit it!
P.S. Good answer about Matthew Mc---. If I were a woman or turning gay, I would do him too. That dude has the body.
2007-04-29 17:01:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't think you're over-reacting at all. Part of having a dependancy is denying you have one. They go hand in hand. At some point, you need to take care of yourself first, because you cannot control his behavior or decisions. If you don't want to walk out on your marraige just yet, I suggest that you join a support group yourself, such as FamAnon. You need people you can talk to that understand what you're going through...not like the moron that told you he'll find someone else to kiss.
2007-04-29 15:54:57 · answer #3 · answered by Miami Lilly 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry to say this, but yes it is a problem and I think it will get worse....tell him if he doesn't slow down, then you'll leave, but you have to actually LEAVE, so ask you mom/sister/dad if you and your kid can stay with them for 2 weeks....tell your husband that he's being a bad role model and tell him that you don't want to go, but you can't live like you're 19 anymore! Good Luck and Best Wishes!
2007-04-29 17:52:34 · answer #4 · answered by josiedickelman 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He wants to turn it on you because he knows he is wrong!
If it is bothering you that bad, you might have to leave and let him decide if he wants alcohol or his family.
My husband went on a drinking "kick" for 3 years behind my back. I left him when I found out. (I should have known all along, but was totally stupidly blind)
He chose his family. I have told him from now on he has a choice to drink, but I have the choice to leave. It's up to him what he wants to do, I'm not "making" him do anything.
It's your life too and you don't have to choose to have that in your life.
Our lives have been so much greater since he stopped, it's like when we were dating. And it's been 2 years since he has touched whiskey.
2007-04-29 15:42:32 · answer #5 · answered by someoneoutthere 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Hi. I assume you told him you love him, but his drinking is a major turn-off, and you'd love it if he'd stop. Perhaps a quid pro quo agreement: ex. You bring the guys over? You clean up, and I get to go out with the girls one night...and you stay "dry" and babysit. Clear guidelines are essential regarding what you can/cannot tolerate.
2007-04-29 15:44:05 · answer #6 · answered by Artemisia G 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are not overreacting and my ex-husband told me I was overreacting after the 5th DUI. They always blame you. If you are not happy let him know. If he won't get help, get out. Do you have children? If not you are blessed. You may be alone if you leave, but you are alone now.
2007-04-29 15:55:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
no your not. he may start drinking a lot More later on. try to slow him down now before that happens
2007-04-29 16:04:32 · answer #8 · answered by freeman3905@sbcglobal.net 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nope, you're not. He's IS an alcoholic. You may need to do something drastic.
2007-04-29 15:39:15 · answer #9 · answered by MissWong 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
His problem sounds like his lame *** wife. You need to lighten up lady or he'll start kissing someone who likes it.
2007-04-29 15:40:46 · answer #10 · answered by Brock Samson 3 · 1⤊ 3⤋