Let's call him Bill. He's a neutral party; No close friends, and at the same time, no enemies. Bill is our manager's assistant. He's married to a CEO. He has crowed about how much his wife makes to other male coworkers and has painted them a pretty picture of how it is to have a "sugar mama" in the house. Well, about a week ago, he found out that his CEO wife was cheating on him.
Suddenly, company luncheons turned strange. Bill would seat himself between me and the only 2 other females from the department. He'd "forget" his wallet and when one of us picked up the tab, he'd practically purr, "man, you're so good to me."
For the rest of the day, he would hang around our desks, putting himself down (digging for compliments). His manager has caught onto this and reprimanded him. He has hinted that he tells his wife that 3 other "attractive" women in the office care for and take him to lunch.
Has this happened to anyone? Cut ties? Ignore him? (Note:he IS in therapy)
2007-04-29 15:29:12 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
If he forgot his wallet, then he'd have to grab a mop. He's obviously doubting his manhood, due to his wife having an affair. He had put a lot of stock in himself, having a wife who earned so much and "took care of him" and he let that reflect on himself, that it made him a better person. The rug was taken out from underneath him and he's unsure of himself and insecure. He's looking for assurance from other females that he is still attractive and desirable as a male. He's a sad sack but you don't need to polish his ego and buy his lunch, unless you want to take his wife's place. Ignore him as much as you can, if you can't given his position, treat him with the utmost impersonal professionalism. No personal comments allowed, that includes compliments to puff him up. Let him deal with his issues in therapy, it's not what you girls are paid for. Good luck.
2007-04-29 17:14:34 · answer #1 · answered by foodieNY 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell. But in a brief innocent way, like for an example I would say "Oh by the way I ran into your spouse the other day I wanted to say Hi to the both of you but I didn't see you around anyways he was/talking with a gal friend or aquaintence & they seemed busy so I didn't want to bother them thought you were around & I guess not...It wasn't the first time I think it was the 3rd time I saw them" ...It's up to you but I would & thats me. If it was me I would want to know, life is better to know the truth & move on to something better why waste your time being in a situation thats not honest when you know that there is someone out there thats better & was ment to be with you with all the honestly, love & trust. YES, TELL you'll feel better to let it out.
2016-05-17 05:44:25 · answer #2 · answered by nelle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's an adult now - he needs to learn how to deal with adversity as one.
When the waitress comes to take your orders, tell her that these are all separate checks. Then ask Bill if he remembered his wallet today, in front of the waitress. He'll never pull this stunt again on you again.
And if he hasn't paid you back yet, ask him politely in private to repay you. If he doesn't, then ask him publicly, in front of coworkers if he has the money to pay you back for lunch last week.
2007-04-29 15:35:28 · answer #3 · answered by Ralfcoder 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ignore him. He's clueless. Don't pay for his lunch or lend him money and write off what you've given him as gone. That will give him a clue to get lost as long as you don't respond to him. If he gets obnoxious and doesn't get the clue you want nothing to do with him, talk to someone in your HR dept.
He's trying to get back at his wife and he's a nutcase!
2007-04-29 15:38:05 · answer #4 · answered by keyz 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, there are three women in total, two other women are in the mix, are'nt the other two women in being used as leverage, and if they are, why do you say you're the only one being used as leverage. And if you know he's in therapy, how did you find out, And if he told you in confidence, or as a friend, you should either help him, or treat him cordially, or leave him alone,.
2007-04-29 15:43:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Quit paying for his meals and ignore him. The guy is an idiot and a known gold digger. Hes a loser and not anyone youd want in your life. If he bothers you tell his manager.
2007-04-29 15:33:58 · answer #6 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no more lunches. don't be anywhere other than the office with him.
2007-04-29 15:32:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋