whats 3 of your favoite jokes?

Question

or more

Answer 1

Monica Lewinsky is a very outspoken Republican. She says that Democrats leave a bad taste in her mouth! (To think she's all grown up -- seems like just yesterday she was crawling under Slick Willie's desk on her hands & knees!)

I used to wonder why Bill Clinton wore turtleneck sweaters all the time. Then I learned the truth: He doesn't wear turtlenecks -- he's just uncircumcised!

A camel-jockey rubbed a lamp and was granted a wish.
"Tomorrow morning I want to wake up in bed with three American women," he replied.
Next morning, he woke up in bed with Lorena Bobbitt, Tonya Harding, and Hillary Clinton.
He was emasculated, his knee was broken, and he still didn't have health insurance!

Answer 2

Feller goes out to play golf and tells his wife he'd back in four hours. Twelve hours later he stumbles in, and his wife wants an explanation. "Well, we were out on the third tee when my partner Fred had a heart attack."

"Oh!" she says. "Is he going to be alright?"

"No, he died almost immediately."

"Well, what took so long, then?"

"After he died, it was fifteen holes of "Hit the ball, drag Fred, Hit the ball, drag Fred."

++++++

Four guys are playing golf, and about on the fourth hole they see a funeral procession going by. One of the members stands very still and takes off his hat till it's gone. "Gee, George, I never knew you to be so sentimental and respectful like that." to which George replies "Well, we had been married for 42 years this past weekend."

Answer 3

A teacher asks her students what there fathers did for their livings. She asks a little girl and she says that her father was a doctor and he helped people get better. Then she asked a little boy and he said that his father was a macanic and that he helped fix people's cars. Then she asked Johnny what his father did and he said that his father was dead and she asked him what he did before he died and Johnny said he turned blue and went "ughh"!

Answer 4

A little boy is taking a bath, when he looks down to notice his genitals. He patiently asks, "Mommy, is this my brain"?

Mother replies, "Not yet!"

Answer 5

My favorite:

What is the difference between a hooker, a nymphomaniac and a wife?

A hooker says "Aren't you done yet?"
A nymphomaniac says "Are you done already?"
A wife says "Beige........I'll paint the ceiling beige."