I do not understand why I love someone who abused me emotionally and verbally in front of my kids. Please someone tell me why this could be. I was not brought up in a abusive home. How can I love someone like this?
2007-04-29 12:31:11 · 18 answers · asked by shelly 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
it is easy to love someone who abuses you, the thing that is hard is that it is easy to leave them once you have fallin in live with them. i think that should be the easy part. i mean honestly they broke your heart when they hit you. they broke your heart when they hurt your feelings, they hurt your heart when they did anything to you. i think it should be easy to leave him becasue he did all that to you. why put yourself thru that? why stay with someone that hurt you, why put your kidsthru that? why show them that it is ok to live like that.goodl uck!!!
2007-04-29 12:43:29 · answer #1 · answered by Christina 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all how can you love somebody else when you do not love yourself? You are allowing this man to belittle you. You are teaching your children that it is ok for a person to emotionally and verbally abuse you. They will not know the difference between a good and bad relationship as they get older. You must not feel good about yourself if you are staying in this relationship. You need to get help and get out. After you get help then try to find a guy who is going to love you the way you need to be loved. Anybody that loves themselves would not put up with his crap.
2007-04-29 20:23:34 · answer #2 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well because your hoping that one day that he will change but he won't. ANd with you staying there he will keep doing it. Right now it emotional and verbal abuse wait till teh physical abuse starts. BEcause it's not far in the future, especially since he knows that you will do or say anything he tells you or else. But when the day comes that he lays a hand on you and he gets physical I hope to GOD you will cahnge your mind about him. Because he will never change as he has proven it to you day in and day out. SO best thing to do is tlak with him first but if he get all iritadated just don't say anymore and drop him like a rock and move on. ALl you are feeling is nothing but love for him and you think this should change him but it won't. But if you need to chat to someone IM me anytime
2007-04-29 19:49:02 · answer #3 · answered by John S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have seen your man at his best so your only prepared to feel the love that grounded the relationship you share, I'm guessing that you feel that it is just an incident and that apart from his few out bursts and violent behavior he has been loving and gentle a thousand times over , Its not easy to see that just one of these few times he could go to the next level and hurt you or heaven forbid one of your children. You are not to blame so your family history is not really of any rational concern as to why you tolerate this man . I'm just supposing this but you are reliant on your husband and you feel that life would be Impossible with out him well if it comes to the crunch remember sweet lady that women leave hate full men every day and pick up the pieces and go on to be great mothers and women I suggest you try a little talk with him and if he agrees then counseling in order to see what he is doing to your whole family unit
2007-04-29 20:10:16 · answer #4 · answered by slick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you have a good heart, the two are also one flesh,
do not think divorce, he can change. show your kids your committed. they will respect that more. if you have to, separate for awhile, don't tell him how long you will be gone. but just explain to him how you feel. don't point fingers at him. or he will get on the defense, because that's how men are wired, gently explain to him how YOU FEEL. and how important the relationship means to you. and that you are going to leave for a period of time, if need be. I am telling you, as a man who has been through this , the kinder you are the more he will realize he needs you, so when you return he will respect you. Gentleness, always respect him, I know its tough.
You can. There is a large blessing at the end of the tunnel.
2007-04-29 19:51:15 · answer #5 · answered by fstmx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he was the only person you had been with you could have an emotional attachment to him that won't go away. You need to get into counseling. Plus it's normal for humans to want someone to love them even if that love comes at a price like abuse.
2007-04-29 23:51:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it comes down to that you honestly dont want to believe what you are seeing from someone that you love so much and you dont want to face the truth.... In reality for your kids sake and yours its not a healthy situation, and you problaly make every execuse in the book for why he does that to you and you need to stop... and really think about the effect it has on your kids, all of you need counseling and if he doesnt agree leave you will be so much happier than you could imagine...
2007-04-29 20:45:45 · answer #7 · answered by Renee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously you have some issues yourself! Has he maybe beat you down to where you think that you are worth nothing?Or that possibly you deserve this? Think about what this has done and will do to the kids if you won't think about yourself. We don't always realize how many lives we affect by the actions we take. Get yourself some counseling or get to a woman care shelter!
2007-04-29 19:37:05 · answer #8 · answered by karenhar 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Think about it. If you are doing something as illogical as caring for someone who treats you like trash you need to look within to find out what is wrong with you because it is not logical to want to be with someone who is abusive. Get into therapy.
2007-04-29 19:50:30 · answer #9 · answered by Challenge 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You think you are being a good woman by taking all kinds of bad behaviour from him.
You have low self-esteem and you do not respect or truly love or accept yourself.
So perhaps you should think about healing yourself and also think about your kids' education....and leave this man you claim to love.
(( If you don't respect and love yourself , you cannot expect others to love and respect you.... Sorry.))
2007-04-29 19:46:20 · answer #10 · answered by Nena S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you love him. You are just used to him and think you love him. I bet if u left him in a couple months you would feel releaved that you are away from him. I been in that situation (but with no kids) and I said, "I love him" --- my family dis owned me and all the good stuff. Finally after I couldn't take it anymore I left. Now I think " What the hell was I thinking!"...................... NO one deserves that, and have u ever thought of what your kids are learning from this??
2007-04-29 19:40:15 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋