I need help!?

Question

I can't let go of my son...he is 15 now, and I am more protective of him than whan he was 5....How do you learn how to trust a teenagers judgement, (he is a really good kid).?

Answer 1

Give him alittle space to do the thingsthat he would like to do.Its hard because I think we were born to protect our kidsfrom the time of conception.Just pray and ask God yo keep him safe. I think you will know ifyour son will make wise judgements.

Answer 2

Teenagers judgement is usually immature and misguided...so trusting his judgements totaly wont happen till he is older. Saying that, you have to devise a system that lets your son grow but at the same time protrects him. Part of that is accepting that he has to learn from his own experiences, not yours. Which is harder to do than it sounds. There must be rules set, that he understands and agrees with. Reasonable rules, developed together so that their is no confusion down the road. Set a curfew, he tells you where he is going, dating guidelines, drinking rules, etc. When he messes up, their are consequences, but NO GROUNDING from friends (unless he gets in trouble with the law from a particular friend). But friends are vital in his life and should not be taken away as a punishment. Instead, take away tv computuer etc. And i forgot to mention that the punishments should be developed before hand too together. And there also should be rewards for good behavior. If he stays within the rules you must let him know that he has improved your trust in him, and that curfew or other restrictions can be extended a lil or whatever. But bottom line, both of you must commuicate the rules and consequences. He must know how you feel about drinking and partying and hopefully he will make the right choice. If not consequences will follow. But if he is sneaking and lying, then you just have to let his own guilt and bad decisions catch up on him, or even the law. Even if he is a good kid now, make the rules! Teenagers can do a 180 in a year. So play it safe! And understand that total trust is just not gonna happen, but dont let him know that! Just stick with this method and I think success is inevetible.

Answer 3

Never trust a teenager's judgement. Limited experience in many situations means mistakes can easily be made.

This is a very critical time. He will naturally want a little distance from you. Too much and he could easily get into bad things, bad people, bad study habits, etc... Many parents just aren't taking the time to raise their kids properly these days and there's alot of bad out there...

Trust your instincts... He wants some freedom, but he just doesn't yet have the experience necessary to properly handle any situation. Allow him to have experiences, but stay close and involved. If he blocks you out, won't tell you what's going on in his life, lies about everything.... He's not ready to have new experiences responsibly...

This is the time where good judgement is developed. Good judgement comes from experience or help from someone with experience. You must be involved to help with that.

Answer 4

I'm 15 and my parents have the same problem with me. You see, I earn really good grades in school and have never given them any reason to doubt me, yet it seems they still can't trust me. Teenagers are bound to make mistakes, but if you know he is a mature boy, then you should let him. Chances are, if you give him your trust he'll try hard not to disappoint you. I only wish my parents would give me a little of the respect I give them, so I could show them that I am a responsible person. But they never really give me a chance. What's worse is that I end up feeling spiteful and angry with them. So, I would just TRY(even though it may be hard) to let your son be just a little more free, and he may surprise you. If you don't he may feel that there is no incentive for acting good, since you don't give him his due respect for it. Just try it out. Good Luck and Good Question!

Answer 5

My sons are much younger than yours...but, I have to say that I understand.

It is hard to "let go" and allow them to be an indiviual. I would say that if you son shows responsibility in other areas (school, work, home, friends, etc.). I would allow for him to have some chances to prove his judgement.

You will have to let go eventually...but, in your own time. Though if he is 30 and at home..that might be an issue.

Breathe, you have already planted the seeds....allow them to grow! Give him a chance to prove himself.

Answer 6

You have to let go or else he may get rebellious just cuz ur being all psycho, if you have a good kid, trust him, you're one of the lucky ones.

Live and Laugh ♥

Answer 7

lets just say, the less freedom you give him the more he will rebel. i am definetly not saying let him do what he wants to do, but dont keep him locked up. let him go out and stuff and have him call you, like if he goes to a friend, have him call you when he gets there. teenagers need freedom. but if given too much they will take advantage.

Answer 8

You have to trust your judgment that you raised him the best you can.And you have to give your son a chance to prove that he can be trusted.I know my son is 15 now too.It's hard to let them go but they do grow up.Give him a chance.

Answer 9

At 15 you cant trust anyone.

Answer 10

I'm young and let me say one thing. A lot of kids are offered drugs, sex, and criminal options. and still a lot just turn it away. just keep in touch, know where he's going. he'll tell you if he knows it wont bite his but later!