What happened to me tonight? How do I explain this to my wife?

Question

I’m 51 now, been married for 30 years … and we have 10 children and 2 grandkids. But, for a lot of healthy reasons, my wife prefers oil soap over aerosols for polishing furniture. Verbally, I’ve agreed with her; but in my heart I am still a lemon scented aerosol polisher. I don’t know what got into me tonight. When everyone was sleeping, I quietly went out for some lemon aerosol furniture polish and compulsively shined our dining room table 5 times. I just love that chemical scent of lemon aerosol; and the house is filled with it right now. It has a deeply soothing psychological affect on me … probably stirs good childhood memories.

So, I’m going to get caught indulging my sacred lemon aerosol furniture polish obsession in a little while. I’ll have some explaining to do. I wish I know how to explain this. Any ideas?

Well the proverbial ‘s-h-i-t has hit the fan’ this morning, So, I felt an update was in order for those of you who were kind enough to answer. Sweet_one1985, Gerry, Kirzytru, Dylan and Teenie … of course I have to be honest. Maybe I was too honest … and in the heat of my defensiveness said accusingly to my wife, “you haven’t bought a can of lemon scented aerosol furniture polish in 30 years.” Of course, all hell broke loose and we’re on a ‘time-out’ right now. I’ll write more later after our ‘lemon scented aerosol crisis’ has settled down a bit.

Columbia, Root Worker and Dan D and Slick … after 30 years, my wife knows me like the ‘back of her hand’. Although denial, half-truth, avoidance, deflection and outright lying all seem tempting, there is no way I could get away with any of it. She knows all my ‘tricks’. More later ...

Courtney… I really don’t resonate with your answer at all. This has nothing to do with my kids and grandkids. This is 100% about my primary relationship … which is the most important part of my life and the central relationship in our family. By the time you get to Level 2, you’ll probably understand that child-centered marriages are a form of triangulation.

Shannon H, Kathyw, basketcase, Nickel and Marrs G … thanks for your humor and validation. Thanks everyone for your answers. Everything worked out OK. Now ... I’m allowed to use the aerosol as long as I don’t ‘overdo it’. That’s progress (smile).

Answer 1

Ahhh, Dude. You are SO busted.

All you can do is throw yourself at her mercy. If she has put up with you for 30+years, it will just be another cross she will patiently have to bear--after verbally berating you, of course. I mean, she has to have SOME satisfaction, right?

I, too am addicted to lemon-scented aerosol polish. The citrus aroma wafting thru the house just sets one at peace. You might explain to her that you have really tried to break the habit, but there must be some chemical dependency on it. And point out that you have been doing soooo well until this ONE little relapse.

Reassure her that it is nowhere NEAR the love and dependency you have for her. And that you would NEVER do anything that would go against her wishes in the house, except for that darned lemon-scent. Oh yeah, and point out how BAD you feel. She will be happy that you are suffering emotionally.

A compromise might be if she would agree to getting some lemon-scented organic cleaner or lemon fresh aroma distributors like "Plug-ins" (tm) or the like.

*Sigh* Good luck Dude. Hope we can hear how it goes.

Answer 2

I am so glad that is your biggest problem in your marriage! Good for you! It's nice to hear because so many of these questions are so heartbroken and hopeless.

You should be honest with your wife. Let her know that you really like the smell of the lemon and maybe she'll consider alternating the cleaner so you both get your ways. Tell her how it makes you feel. Maybe there is an oil soap aerosol that has a lemon scent. Be honest with her and see if you can't come to a compromise.

Answer 3

Here it is, tell her That last night I was wondering down stairs as I couldn't sleep . I entered the kitchen and some of the local teens were in the back yard as they peeled away they all at once began throwing had fulls of lemons at me through the back door they hit every where it left a bitter taste in your mouth and after cleaning up the mess the whole house smells of lemon fresh it was a drive by rinding and the table coped most of the lemons so of course you polished it with a clean cloth as to bring back its natural shine but were unable to remove that horrid odor it just leaves you feeling yellow and a very sour indeed

Answer 4

well now seeing how you prefer the lemon smell just go ahead and polish everything and when the wife gets up and ask what the hell is the lemon smell in the house tell her you thought it was a good idea to have that"fresh Lemon" smell for once

Answer 5

Be honest and tell her how you feel, Although a little freaky tell her about your deep desire for lemon scented furniture polish. It's all about open communication.

Answer 6

Say to her exactly what you just told us,if she doesn't understand and takes pity on you then shame on her.Tell her your going to trade her in for a more lemony scented woman,if
she won't change over to lemony aerosol pledge.

Answer 7

Just be honest and IF she catches you, then just explain your addicted to it and can't help yourself. After 30 yrs and 10 children later she probably will understand and be willing to forgive you.

Answer 8

Well, if you like the smell of Lemon Pledge, you're welcome to come over to my house and use it all you want...I've got all sorts of furniture that doesn't even get oil, much less Pledge....Heck, I've even got hardwood floors that probably need SOMETHING.

Answer 9

What is to explain. Your have your preference and she has hers when it comes to what to use to polish wood. Tell her the truth.

Answer 10

i think of you will pass to mattress on my own such as you do each night, dream this wild myth that for the time of no way occurred, awaken interior the morning then pass preserve your self on my own because of the fact your spouse won't supply you any