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She went to bed, and I came across a girls picture I know, but haven't seen in months. She came down and caught me masturbating with that girls picture up. She said she wanted a divorce last night, but ended up staying the night. However today, my brother coincidentaly said something about the girl while my wife and I were over for dinner. She immediately said take me home, didn't say a word the whole way home, just cried for a minute. Then immediately left and I believe went to her ex boyfriends house..( from a little over a year ago). Does anyone have any experience with such a stupid thing, or do any of you girls have any advice on how I should handle this? I can't believe how stupid I am, and it will kill me to lose my wife over something like this...please help

2007-04-29 09:39:18 · 37 answers · asked by Need serious help 1 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

37 answers

You are so busted.

How do you make that up to her. It is like her watching you have an "affair". YOu were thinking of somone else while you were masturbating while your wife of 2 weeks was upstairs sleeping.

WOW>.........you are in deep trouble.

2007-04-29 09:46:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4 0

Let her cool of, don't call her for a few days just leave her alone. Then when you finally talk, don't make it about her don't mention anything about her going to the ex-boyfriends house or where she has been, since she left. Keep it strictly on about what you did, because if you try to turn the tables then it will be more drama. Tell her it was supid of you to do such a thing. and if you wanted sex you should have went to your wife. Tell her it will never happen again and even though you are saying the words you intend to prove what you say with your actions. After you have said your apologies, don't nag, don't pester, just let her think about it. More then likely she wll come around.

2007-04-29 09:46:28 · answer #2 · answered by Danielle 4 · 0 0

Well this is a big problem for both of you because you've only been married for 2 wks. That gives your wife plenty of time and room to think she made the wrong decision. Especially because from a girls point of view, if you were masterbating to another girls picture, then it makes her feel like you dont want her or notice her. So you have to look at some other girls picture. Im not here to judge but in my opinion you need to find her and solve this problem. If you really love her then you need to talk it out and do not be on the defense!! You know you were wrong so tell her that and that you want to make this new marriage work!

2007-04-29 09:47:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2 0

This is a tough situation to be in. Let her have time to think about what she wants to do because you never mentioned that she took her things when she left which would make me believe she is coming back. She asked for a divorce because you hurt her so bad. Let me tell you that masturbating to an old girlfriends picture is just like making love to her in person and the wife walking in on it. She is realy hurt right now and I am going to assume that your ex girlfriend has been an issue in the past. You need to start by getting rid of "ALL"-pictures old girlfriends or women that are not related to you and any keepsakes that you have store up, you are no longer a bachelor and you don't need them. Sorry to say but you are going to have to do a lot of begging and making up for this one. The most important thing is to try to relieve some of the hurt. Let her know you understand that she is really hurt by what you did and then let her know what you are doing to correct it. Make sure you never have any contact with your ex....she is your ex for a reason and you married your wife and not her. Do whatever it takes/whatever she asks of you to make it right if you want this marriage to work....its hard because your marriage is so new and I know the last thing she expected to see was you making out with a picture. I think its going to take her some time but she will eventually forgive you unless there is more going on that you have told us. Good luck to you , its going to be hard but you can do it.

2007-04-29 09:55:14 · answer #4 · answered by Pegi 3 · 2 0

you want to sit down her down and confer with her. tell her the fact. yet in the previous you do you'll want to be truthful with your self. Is it the actual undeniable actuality that you adult males at the instantaneous are not having sex regularly the rationalization for your searching at porn, or is it the actual actuality those women are doing issues that your spouse does no longer. Or both. both way you should tell her, regardless of if it hurts her. That way she knows. recommend that you steadily combine sex into your lives. flow to the porn shops at the same time. %. out toys that you discover exciting, get some body paint and make sex interesting. this can make her experience like she is element of the act insted of the element that the act is being finished on. Ask her what aspects of sex with you she don't love, once you get an answer restore it. Do your perfect to indulge her, this can make issues more advantageous positive. because you'd be doing all of this stuff with your spouse, cut back back on the porn. Or more advantageous positive yet basically watch it with her, this may help her be more advantageous comfortable with her sexuality and help instruct her that masturbation isn't grimy yet very organic. besides, sturdy success.

2016-11-23 15:24:40 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

Well you should have thought about this before. Why you would as a newly wed married man be jacking off at a photo of a girl you knew , that isn’t your wife. Perhaps your wife could have given a bit of lead way had it just been some girl in some magazine. Honestly how would you feel if you found your wife masturbating too a photo of a guy she knew or previously had dated.

You best gravel at her feet.

2007-04-29 11:08:43 · answer #6 · answered by Spread Peace and Love 7 · 1 0

That is a nasty situation, your newly weds and your masturbating !! and over another womens picture. WHY ???

She will be so hurt, she will be feeling that she is not as attractive to you as the women in the photo. she has confided in an ex probably for support. This action has ruined her self esteem and her trust in you.

Every marriage has it ups and downs and if you have enough worth working for you will get through it, but you better start eating humble pie and bin the photo (NOW), in future go to bed with your wife and enjoy her.

2007-04-29 09:54:36 · answer #7 · answered by bambam 3 · 2 0

Put yourself in her shoes. By you masturbating to another woman's picture was the same as having sex with another woman in her eyes. You disrespected her and treated her like crap, basically by your actions you said that she's not enough for you. You can tell her that your sorry all you want, but if you want any chance of saving your marriage, you will need to rebuild her trust, and that is not going to be easy. It will take ALOT of hard work.

Masturbation in and of itself is VERY selfish, because all it is, is self gratification.

If your wife will even entertain the notion of trying to work things out, you both need to seek marriage counceling, and I suggest with a pastor who's a licenced marriage councelor.

Another thing, quit thinking of yourself, put your wife and her feelings and needs WELL before your own. It will make a world of difference.

2007-04-29 09:48:56 · answer #8 · answered by Bryan M 5 · 1 0

Why didn't you come on to your wife instead of the picture?? I sure would be hurt to if my husband chose a picture over me. But you should tell her how STUPID you feel if you mean it, and that you would do anything to make the marriage work because you LOVE her. But now you realize that it is her decision, whether to forgive you. Think before you Do and everything should workout.

2007-05-03 04:42:15 · answer #9 · answered by 24Special 5 · 1 0

well Homer, no use in telling you that you are *dumb* but why if you have been married for two weeks were you spanking the monkey to an old g/f? ANd who would believe the BS that you just happened to have a sexy pic 'handy' (I crack myself up) If you don't want the big divorce you better start repairing your f/up. I really don't have any suggestions how, it is such a big mess you made :(

2007-04-29 09:46:11 · answer #10 · answered by Hootie J 5 · 3 0

Yeah...that was a pretty stupid move. When it comes to masturbating to pictures, NEVER use people in real life. I would just let her know that you're really sorry. She shouldn't take this as offensively as she is. She is your wife and made a lifelong commitment to you and needs to abide by it. If shes going to bail on you over something like this, then she is probably not worth your time.

2007-04-29 09:43:51 · answer #11 · answered by emx620 2 · 1 1

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