My husband & I r seperated & due 2 financial situations we still live together. I've heard on here 2 move in with parents or friends & that is NOT an option at all, we have two children & no one that we know r in a postion 2 take in either of us. Our home has been an emotional wreck 4 the past 10 months, days sometimes weeks w/ us not saying a word 2 each other & either there is a HUGE argument or we start 2 get along for a couple of days. This is absolutely the worse situation 2 be in, I hate it, my poor chldren have seen so much anger & pain & they just dont deserve this. I honestly don't know what to do now. I've lost my job so any hope of getting out of this sooner has been stalled. Our kids have school issues that he doesn't handle because he "hasn't checked his email" 2 see that the teachers are needing 2 talk 2 us or commuicate about whats going on w/ our kids. I'm just so tired of all of this. I'm not sure if I'm really even asking a question, just venting.Hey its 2pts.
2007-04-29 07:52:32 · 17 answers · asked by Completly in love... 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You and hubby need to decide on having a truce. If this means not talking at all and only leaving notes for each other so be it. Decide on who is doing what in the household and stop picking at each other. Send a note to the teachers telling them that e-mail is an ineffective way to communicate, to pick up the phone and call you instead.
It can work out for the most part if the two of you agree not to fight, but to talk.
2007-04-29 07:58:55 · answer #1 · answered by kny390 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You may be living in the same house, but obviously you're not living together, OR communicating. If there is absolutely no way to reside separately, then you both need to discuss between you BOTH, that this current arrangement needs to be discussed fully. If divorce is immanent, then perhaps someone needs to bite the bullet and file. As far as the kids, you need to direct their school/schools that ALL communication must be directed to YOU.
You're absolutely correct this is not good for the children. Coming from a very very physcially & emotionally abusive parental relationship, I'm strongly in favor of divorce over such.
2007-04-29 15:08:58 · answer #2 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Right now you are venting AND wanting your life to get better! This kind of thing happens more than you know.....Once you have another job, then maybe you can find a cheap place to rent....until then your kids need to feel like their home is a happy place....take them to the park or out for a stroll...ask your husband if he wants to help you.....I feel like you will stay together....try calming down and not being so critical of him...he's probably tired and I know you are...from worrying, too! Just take a break from being married, and hug him again:) Good Luck
2007-04-30 01:51:22 · answer #3 · answered by josiedickelman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I truly feel for you. I lived in a bad marriage for 23 years so I can empathize a bit. My best advice would be to find the right kind of counsel. Even if you do not end up staying together, you both need and your children need to learn how to live through this. Please take the time to look at this website. (http://www.nationalmarriage.com/) As angry as you are right now, there is hope. It is a matter of finding out the "Why" and working through that. Hope this helps.
2007-04-29 15:03:33 · answer #4 · answered by transformationlmt 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get the social services to help with the kids. If you think you are physically abused by the husband, you can claim that as well. At least the mother and the children can move to a shelter. Government and church groups can help so at least children won't starve.
And it looks like both you and your husband are still immature. You fight for your own sake instead of digging out of an aweful situation. You waste your energy on temper instead of finding temperary and long term solutions.
2007-04-29 15:01:46 · answer #5 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am sorry about the way you are feeling. I think that you should take this to a counselor or something. Your parents wont take you in? I mean all you need of them right now is somewhere to go. It sounds like your the "busy" one of the household trying to do everything. SO take this to a counselor and maybe you can work something out so you dont have to live like this no more!
2007-04-29 15:02:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This isn't even about the two of you now. Look at what you are doing to your children. They did not ask for any of this and they are going to suffer because the two of you can't get along and are "stuck" together in the same house.
Think about your children and stop the arguing.
2007-04-29 15:23:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You both MUST sit down and talk things over. You definitely need to get together with a counselor or mediator to get things settled. It's obvious this has taken an emotional toll on the kids, not to mention you as well. You MUST confront him face to face and get this settled.
2007-04-29 15:01:57 · answer #8 · answered by janetrmi 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Seek some counseling for yourself. There are clinics in each area, that may offer services free or at lower fees. This would help you to clear your thoughts and set some goals. The best to you.
2007-04-29 15:28:22 · answer #9 · answered by bahjij6 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand how you feel why do you have to be the one to move. Why can't he find somewhere to stay. Why force the kids to leave their home. He should act honorably and leave but still help with the bills since you are keeping the kids.
2007-04-29 15:09:23 · answer #10 · answered by lil sis 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋