Roommate abuse?I did not get enough answers?

Question

am a young female grad; When I came to college I had to have roommate. My 1st was very nice, but she graduated,. My 2nd was a *****, I discovered she was a psycho and since I was new in the country I was afraid; she intimidated me, and she started doing weird stuff like having the radio high at 3 am, and shewas a racist and against other races/religions, especially Muslim. I suffered,and I had a post-traumatic diorder that was not severe; but I was experiencing things I never had in my life (peaceful) ...I imagined her coming to me at night , and saw her scary eyes in the dark, etc. I said this to my doctor. Then I was told police were suspecting her for having a gun, which I think is true, given her fundamentalit and crazy tendecies. It really aches me to go back to that dark episode of my life. I was alone.Then I moved with another American, which is generally nice but she has a possessive view of the house and asks me why I did that or this as if the house is hers! I am fed up

the current one treats the house like hers, she monopolizes the living room and tv.She talks about the place as if it's hers, I am fed up and I cried yesterday in my room. Tell me what to do, thanks

Answer 1

u need to be more assertive. u just cant runaway all ur life in search of gud people u ve to learn the art of making other people live on ur terms or atleast let u live ur way.
its a big bad world out there dear n we all ve to put up a fight to survive n get our rights.
u r still young u will learn it soon u just cant get the comfort of ur home so easily out there.
gud luck

Answer 2

HAI DEAR FRIEND,
i am sorry for u as we go far to get the advantage of education or money or better living, but some people will tend to do harm and get pleasure from.any way once again i am sorry bcz when we get the sympathi from the loved ones we het release the tension and heart gets lightened.
any way i dont know what r the possible steps that we can take there to safe guard self legally.
but i can give u mental support or emotion set back which is required for a normal living.
let her feel so and u encourage her in doing so
this is a kind of negative or avversive tecnique.
but dont get distracted from the main goal for which u went there.
keep going
when u r emotionally week every thing appears like a daionosor .
good luck.

Answer 3

Can you afford to live alone? I lucked out in college and had great roommates, even though I had never met them before. I just made sure to answer the questions on the housing applications honestly and as specifically as possible. There are things that you may compromise on and then there are those that you just cannot honestly tolerate. After college, I tried one roommate and it was a disaster and she was a friend before we moved in together and after living togther, our friendship was gone after 2 months. Since then, until I got married, I lived alone. I just got married in Oct.2005 at age 45. I much preferred living alone, except for my pets, because I worked a stressful job as an RN and the last thing I wanted when I got home, was to have to deal with a roommate who might have people over or party when I'm exhausted, eat my food, borrow my clothes, be a slob, etc. So if you can, live by yourself if you don't want to have to deal with someone else. Or if you can't afford to live alone, you find a place and you search for a roommate that is suitable for your lifestyle. You can place an add, interview poss. roomies, ask them questions about their lifestyle, etc. and then YOU can choose who you want. Now the only problem with that is, if you want to be able to control your rommate status, you will have to sign a lease by yourself so the other person's name is not on the lease and then you can give them a 30 day notice to leave---it's the law, even if you only have an oral contract with the other person. You both have to give at least a 30 day notice if you want them to leave or if they want to leave. If the roommate you find signs the lease with you and you find you don't get along, well you're stuck. You can't kick her out and vice versa. If one of you wants to leave, you not only have to give a 30 day notice, but whoever leaves has to help find a replacement roommate for a reasonable amount of time--most states it is 3 months--because whoever leaves will be responsible for their share of the rent and half the utilities until a roommate is found or for 3 months, not the duration of the lease.The law says a reasonable amount of time, not the duration of the lease so someone won't have to pay rent for 9 months when they aren't living there. If not, you'll find yourself in small claims court for either unlawful eviction or abandonment of the lease. Good Luck on your roommate search!

Answer 4

It would seem you have a problem with asserting yourself. I don't know what possibilities you have on choosing who you live with but that is where it starts. A lot of people today like to dominate and are fundamentally ego centric. That's their problem. Your is ?? A little to submissive when it comes to demanding respect and equality ? Afraid of conflict ? Are you like this in all aspects of your life ?
As long as her behaviour works why should she change ? It works !! Unfortunately , you have to developer the courage to change what YOU can. This may sound simple I know , but it is the road to a solution to this problem as well as many others in your life I would imagine .

Contact me to talk more if you wish

Good luck

Answer 5

Look for another place to live or if this place is yours then give her notice to find somewhere else to live. Talk to people more and ask around for referances before you move in or allow others to move in. You know a lot more about what to ask now that you are experieced. Good luck and make sure to stand up for yourself. When she says something about my just give a "ours" or "we". Speak your mind and do not hold itin to cry about. Once you get started speaking your mind it will be easier.

Answer 6

Get a small place of your own, even it it's a furnished room or a room in a boarding house. Living alone is far better than the conditions you describe.

Answer 7

life is not for abusement,if ur sufferer than it is very much clear that without reaction it will continously increase upto ur limit than ultimately u will react ,so why are u wasting your time and life uner amusement. if reaction is the only way than no reason for waiting , so please react.

Answer 8

gurl its your place right so if you dont want her there kick her out.dont be shy say what ur feeling

Answer 9

come to canada...and i can assure you that you wont have such bad experiences