Any MARRIED people outthere ever forgiven cheating???

Question

if your spouse male or female cheated and you forgave them please tell me how and what steps you took to get things on good terms again. my husband has done the unbelievable, but I don't want to give up the marriage, so if you made it past this point please help me make it too.

Answer 1

yes
and he was forgiven because the thought of not having him against the thought of revenge was not worth bearing.
There are times when you doubt ,but then you think we are human and we make mistakes and it is ******* hard to forgive but 4 years later we are still here and to be honest i do sometimes wonder if he will do it again.the choice is yours what do you think will he do it again? what will you be eating ten years from now? the answer is no one really knows but give it a try and if it is too painful for you then let it go because it is hard as hell its like someone dying and im saying that after 4 years .
the best of luck my love and may you find happiness

Answer 2

I would NEVER forgive anyone that cheats on me. A cheater is a liar. The entire time of the relationship you are sharing life and love. Then all of a sudden there is a little affair. Bullshit...... Once a cheater, always a cheater. There is no reason to cheat. It's a selfish act. How in the world can you look into the eyes of the person who cheated on you. I don't care if you were married 40 years. Once the trust is broken, you have NOTHING. Nothing is left. A relationship is based on trust, love friendship, communication and honesty. So one night of hot sweaty sex with a stranger should be forgiven?? NOPE..... that is an act of an animal out in the woods who act on instinct. I give the women or men all the credit in the world if they take back the cheater and liar. Best of luck to you. **There is an open door of communication with each other. If you can't talk about it today, you wait till the morning.. Read an article to help find the words, call your Pastor, something.... You don't just start us another relationship while you are involved. Its just an awful thing. It takes 2 people to make a relationship work. Both are at fault if they both don't try. I know in most relationships, there is always one person trying harder than the other. I do often wonder about that. WHY? Good luck to all

Answer 3

Yes, my wife cheated on me. I have forgiven her. It was brutal at first. The trust issue takes along time to go away. She was doing this with a guy she met through her job. We went to counseling for about a year and it really helped. I have rules she has to abide by (the counselor agreed with these). I have all her passwords (phone, email both work and home), I have the right to show up anywhere she is working un- announced and she does not attend any work related functions, conferences or business dinners. She agreed to all of the above. She also wrote me a formal letter of apologies. She also signed a mid-nuptial agreement saying that if she strays again, a divorce begins immediately and she forfeits all rights to our property and possessions. Thing are working really well so far.

Answer 4

Counselling. First, he has to be completely apologetic and acknowledge what he did was despicable and horrible. You have to know he's coming from an honest point of view. Second, get into counselling. Find out WHY he cheated and find out what you and he can do to make sure it never happens again. Third, if he does not show remorse or you have reason to believe he's doing it again, kick his a** out the door! Don't stand for it! Don't retaliate. You have the right to feel secure in your marriage. I don't blame you for not wanting to give it up altogether - that shows a forgiving and mature personality on your part, but make darn sure before you open your heart to him again that it's not going to recur.

Um...might be an idea to insist on STD tests too....you probably don't know what his other partner has and you don't want anything passed onto you.

Answer 5

Why did you become partners you shoudl ask? We did becuase we both thought of each other as very atractive and sexy. She actualy likes the ideal that I am desired by other woman, and to be honest I am alwasy glad to know other men think she is sexy and want her as well. Who would want to think the partner they have chosen is a ugly dog ?
No offense to those who are hurt and I understand you r feelings, but sex is such a small part of a relationship. It is a natural act , that is responsible for all of us being here on this board , and should in my opinion be satisfied. It is the thinking mode that it is soooo bad when someone has it outside of a relationship, that causes people to hurt each other and do rediculous things.
If you love someone I think you shoudl want them to fulfill there desires. You see it is a long klnown fact , if you ever took Psych 101, that the human ID, will always search to fullfill its urges. Any urge unfullfilled will not leave the mind in any of us. So to deny each other such a small fullfillment is not love, but indeed a selfish act, if you truly know and love your partner.
I dont think you should have ongoing love with another, as then it is nto the person you are partnered with , but sex-- Give me a break. I have been with others on more than 1 occasion. She found out once and although pouted untill we went out to a nice show and dinner, she is fine. We ofcourse have discussed these things thouh being together 9 years so she knows my feelings on the subjeect.
She had a boyfriend once from work here in Las Vegas, and he threatened to tell her husband for some reason. She was upset and crying, so I took her cell phone and called him and told him I would be happy to whoop his *** if he had that kind of problem and wanted to act like a child. So you see it goes both ways. I still love her and thank God for her every day. I have no worry she will fall in love with another, and am happy we can fullfill our desires without huritng each other. If we ever do decide to move on in other directions, I can assure you we will be frineds untill the day we die.

Answer 6

I was in a relationship where my girl cheated on me. I forgave her and I tried to forget about it, but everytime we are in an argument, it puts me in a highgher ground to use that problem to screw her over. Which now I thought I havnt really forget about it.

So you need to forgive and FORGET. which is the hardest thing to do. You will alway be suspicious (you have the right to), and always connect all suspicion to cheating.

The point is, your husband screw this up. If hes interested, he needs to start from ZERO and gain all your trust back. He will do everything and let go of his privacy. He must be willing to understand where your paranoia come from, and let you do what it takes to feel safe again. Until hes able to do that, theres no point forgiving him all the time just to see him chat again. Relationship works both ways. Remember that.

Answer 7

I forgave my wife for the sake of the kids.

But once they're 18, if she hasn't learned to quit b!tching and listen to me, she's out on her @ss.

If you want to stay in your marriage, you're just going to have to learn to put that pain in a box, and don't open it. It might help if you can objectively consider why he did something like that. Or, it might not.

Men cheat for one of two reasons. The first is, they're just bad men. They probably did this sort of thing before you got married, or at least were on track to do this sort of thing, with histories of promiscuity or pornography addiction. If you ignored the warning signs, then there's not much you can do at this point. He'll probably do it again.

The second reason is, they're not getting what they need at home, and have decided to get it elsewhere. A lot of women think that once they're married, their husband's sexual needs aren't important anymore, and they can let their looks go. Especially after having kids. If this is the case, then you're going to have to own your part of this problem before you can fix things--but the good news is, it's very fixable.

Answer 8

Cheating is one thing that I would never forgive..I can deal with just about anything,but cheating is one thing that I would not tolerate and I would get a divorce immediately..Trust is everything in a marriage once the trust is gone you have nothing.When someone cheats you can NEVER trust them again because there is NO excuse,reason or justification for cheating EVER...

Answer 9

I have never been in this situation and know that I could not forgive, BUT... I think if you honestly want to make it work, you have to forgive and forget. You cannot relive this every time you have a fight. I guess what I think would be the most difficult would be to learn to trust again and not wonder what he is doing every minute he is away, good luck to you =0)

Answer 10

She apologized, broke it off with him and we attended counseling for about a year. Since it wasn't a long-term cheat, just a ill-chosen tryst, it wasn't as though she had lied and fooled me all the time, so after the rocky months of anger, tears and "how could you??" we moved past it. Been married for 8 years. 3 years ago, she had her fling. I love her and want it to work.