Question for people who are co-parenting?

Question

Hi,
I wanted to know if after your divorce/separation if you co parented? How did it work? Still debating if I will end up doing that with my kids. I personally feel that they wouldn't have one place to call home if they spent part of the week with me and the other with their dad. So I'm asking you for your opinions. I only want to know for the people who have co parented or are co parenting now.

Answer 1

I honestly don't believe there is one answer for this question that can be ruled as 'best'

I believe that every family will have something different that works for them.

My fiance has a daughter, so we split everything up with his ex. Our schedule is somewhat comfusing, we have her every other weekend, and then the weekends that we do have her, the week before we have her M-W-F, and then the week following the weekend is T-Th.

Now, my opinion may not mean much because the child I deal with is only 2....but I think this is going to get really hard. I don't think it's good for a child to be house-jumping all the time. It's probably very confusing for her.

Sure, it's great that she gets to see her daddy than a lot of the 'every other weekend' crowd. But I'm sure it will get uncomfortable as she gets older trying to remember everything she needs when she goes back and forth.

There is no harm in trying things out. Talk to your ex and try to keep all possible issues in mind. And if your children are old enough, make sure they feel free to communicate how they feel about what's going on.

It's not like one decision has to be permanent. Try something, if it doesn't work, stick with what does, change what doesn't!!!

This will be a difficult time for you, just don't get too stressed over it all!!!

Good luck!!

Answer 2

Hi - not in this position, but I know current research. It's an emerging trend to have one home the children live in, and it's the PARENTS who move in and out a week at a time, or whatever the arrangement is. It's WAY better for the children, and since the divorce was for the parents splitting, anything and everything should be done to minimize further hurt to the kids, they are already devastated enough, and it affects them their whole lives. When the parents are the ones taking turns at the home, the children get to have their own rooms, etc. and is much more stable for them. It's a wonderful idea that is gaining in popularity.

Answer 3

you have to ask your kids if they are old enough to which parent do they want to spend the most time ? if they say you or your hubby then you two have to come to terms with the other getting weekends . dont co parent it never works out someone always gets the short end of the stick . good luck .

Answer 4

I co-parent...and my boyfriend co-parents.
My son is 4 years old...and we have been co-parenting since he was born...it is the only thing he knows. (so far...so good)
My boyfriend...he has a 15 year old daughter...the ex lives just a few streets down - Same school district and everything. She seems to be doing fine. One week at Mom's...One week with Dad (us)...She has "her room" at each place...she takes her dog to each place...she goes to school and has friends over...all very normal.
You know, as long as YOU are okay with it...your child will be okay with it.

Answer 5

Well it's working for my son but I have never been very happy with it. I have him every other week and miss him like crazy when he's not with me. We have been doing this for 5 years now since the divorce. All I can say is he has gotten used to bouncing back and forth. But I still haven't.

Answer 6

I personally dont do this, but since you only had one other answer, I figured I would answer based on a friend who does do this.

She and her ex do the week with her/week with him thing, and it seems to work really well for them. They get along better now than they ever did during their marriage. They split costs of school supplies, clothes, activities, and such, equally.