What would a Bush Administration version of Monopoly be like?

Question

I'm already envisioning the "Get out of Baghdad" and "Stay out of Gitmo" cards.....

Answer 1

Squares would have group names like Kabul and Baghdad. The oilfields would take the place of Bordwalk and Park Place.

The railroads would all be different branches of Haliburton. If you get all four you get a cash bonus every turn.

You don't build houses and hotels on squares, you build walls and prisons.

You'd have cards like:

1. You're party has control of congress, do whatever you want.
2. The news is spun in your favor, collect $20
3. A car bomb kills 100 people, lose a turn.
4. Excutive signing statement, avoid going to jail
5. You've instituted an offshore gulag, advance to spaces.
6. No warrants required, take one of each opponents properties.
7. You "don't recall", lose a turn.
8. Democrats have control of congress, you cannot move until republicans have power again.
9. SCANDAL! Pay all your opponents $100 in hush money apiece.

So on and so on....

~X~

Answer 2

Same three words on every square: Go To Jail

Edit:
The rules would exist, but be entirely ignored (unless you can use them against your opponents.) All decisions would come from appeals to the Supreme Court, which you father and his friends appoint.

All pieces would still be made of metal, except the Humvee, which would be plastic. See, they didn't have the armor, but you go to war with the Army you have, not the Army you want.

Since most Neo-Con Repubtards have trouble with simple math (as does their president), you would draw colors, like in Candyland.

Whoever has the Presidential piece would delay acting when their turn comes around for eight minutes. Copies of "My Pet Goat" would be included.

Answer 3

That's a start and all of the properties would become major corporations that pretty much run this country alongside good ol' W!

Answer 4

There would definitely have to be a whole lot more get out of jail free cards.

Answer 5

Bush and his criminal cohorts have assured US victory in its race to the bottom. Dropping the cloak of altruism, they have come out of the closet and revealed their wicked proclivities. In openly murdering innocent civilians and torturing suspected terrorists under the pretenses of "pre-emptive" military action and the nebulous “War on Terror”, Israel’s Neocon operatives have secured America's place in the pantheon of egregious violators of human rights. Despite having stolen the last two elections, these depraved war criminals continue to act in the name of the American people as they repeatedly urinate and defecate on virtually everything that was truly virtuous in our nation.

Answer 6

Here's some other cards:

"Disenfranchise black voters, go to nearest utility"

"Photo-Op, immediately get $200"

"$10,000 a plate dinner, get $10,000 from every player"

"Scandal; if you are Democrat go directly to jail, do not pass go, do not collect $200. But, if you are a Republican, get $1,000 from the bank now."

Answer 7

As soon as they start to lose they tip over the board and demand a do over

Answer 8

You're asking as if that's a hypothetical - it's not we're living it!

Answer 9

It would be renamed "Slaves and Owners"