My nieghbor and friend who is 18 took 2 pregnancy tests. 1 came up positive(1st one) the other came up negative. I told her that she should see the doctor to make sure and offered to drive her and go in with her. She swears that the 2nd test is right and refuses to go to the doctor. She is scared that the baby is not her boyfriend's but her ex boyfriend's and that the current one will leave her even though she is still in love with the ex and she knows he will be there for her and the other(new one) wont be.(hope that made sense!) What would be the best advice to give her now?
2007-04-29 02:54:03 · 9 answers · asked by ? 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Ok, let me clarify the boyfriends thing. Her and the old boyfriend still love each other but have some major issues to work out together. She is now with this other guy who is a total loser and is only with him for a place to live at the moment.(Dont ask me why cause I will never understand it!) She had sex with her ex just before getting with the new guy and has also had sex with this one. She is scared that the ex is the father and that the new boyfriend will bolt when he finds out. But I am also friends with the ex and know that he would be happy to have a child and would stick by her and the baby no matter what. Even if they didnt get back together. Hope that makes more sense then the first explantaion.
2007-04-29 02:59:09 · update #1
she needs to think of what's best for her and the baby...taking out all other influences! She has to wake up and realize that going to the doctor as soon as possible is the best way to insure a healthy pregnancy!
ask her if she will she love the baby no matter who the father is? That's all that counts! and that should come first befoe all else. This is her family growing inside of her and that little baby deserves to have a loving mom who will do what it takes to bring him/her up in a safe environment. What matters the most next in line is the truth of paternity! not only does the child need to know his/her real father, but the father has the right to know his baby...if the new guy bolts then she needs to realize that this is a sign that they were never meant to be...and it's probably best to worry about it. He would never take care of her the way she deserves to be treated, if he really cares for her he would stand by her.
remind her that honesty is the best policy no matter how scared a person may be. things will work out the way they are supposed to.
good luck
2007-04-29 03:19:20 · answer #1 · answered by your friend 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
As far as the whole boy friend ex boyfriend thing. The Ex boyfriend sounds like a more trustworthy guy as a father than the new guy. It doesn't sound like she cheated on anyone, so if the new guy leaves just because the baby is not his than he is a creep to begin with. No woman should want a man like that sticking around to help her with her child.
Instead of going to the doctor why not go to a planned parenthood. That way she is not roped in to the person that gives her the test. She can do a little shopping around for the right doctor. Either that or since she is probably a little bit further along she could take another home pregnancy test or two.
I wish your friend best wishes in this life endevor. And if neither of the guys are there for her, I certainly hope you will be!
2007-04-29 03:06:57 · answer #2 · answered by Rizzel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure she's just in denial, and scared that going to the doctor's is going to confirm her fears... I'm now a week over due and been married a couple years, and the baby is VERY MUCH welcomed and I'm incredibly excited..... but trust me getting a positive test, in the beginning, is hard to believe even when you know its right.
Perhaps she thinks a false positive is common. Many women do. However, a PG test only looks for the presence of the HCG (pregnancy) hormone. A negative doesn't mean you're not pregnant--- just that the test is not finding enough of a hormone to register positive (either becuase its not sensitive enough, your urine had a low level, or you're not pregnant).
However, a positive means that the hormone was there. PERIOD. The hormone is NEVER present unless you're pregnant or taking some sort of fertility treatment. If she got a positive, she's definitely pregnant, even if the negative was taken the same day or after, as hormone levels can vary from one hour to the next.
2007-04-29 03:40:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If I were you, I would buy her two more pregnancy tests and have her take it while you are there. Depending on the results of those pregnancy tests, you and her can figure out what to do. If both of the tests you buy come out positive, she can no longer deny the truth. Your friend may be in denial about the situation because she is terrified. Reassure your friend you are there for her no matter what. I really think the reason that your friend is staying with her boyfriend is not a good reason for her to be with him. Even if she is pregnant by her current boyfriend, she is setting herself up for a life time of misery if she stays with someone she doesn't love and he could be a bad influence for the baby. I think your friend needs to tell her ex the situation because if she still loves him, she needs to be honest. If or when she delivers the baby, the truth is going to come out anyway so she might as well tell the truth now than walking around for months of feeling guilty and living a lie. What if she delivers the baby and it is her ex? She may lose him because he would wonder why she wasn't honest or he may find someone else if he think that she is pregnant by another man thinking that she is moving on with her life without him. Do your friend have any friends or relatives that she can stay with during her pregnancy or until she gets on her feet? I think if she stays with someone else, it would really take the pressure off her so she will be more prone to tell the truth. I wish your friend the best of luck.
2007-04-29 03:26:54 · answer #4 · answered by sam 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
2 things - 1) Explain to her that the best thing she can do is get out of the place where she is living with her current "boyfriend". If her ex would be (as you say) happy to know that she carries his child, then he should have no problem with her moving in with him. The only other option would be for her to move out on her own. 2) She should be made aware that if she really is pregnant, there is information that she will need regarding how her body will change during the gestation period, and give her all kinds of helpful advice. But - she needs to see a medical professional first to verify that she really is pregnant.. Best of luck to all concerned.
2007-04-29 03:08:14 · answer #5 · answered by Paul L 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well 18 is old enough to make her own decisions and learn from her own mistakes but as a true friend if i was you i would tell the ex about it and her parents if you have to, she will be mad for a short time at you maybe but in the long run she will need you and will get over it and forgive you for telling.Do whatever you have to , help your friend and if she wont listen and go to the doctor then tell and get it out in the open. in the end she will thank you.
2007-04-29 04:13:20 · answer #6 · answered by maureen s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she starts showing that she is pg then tell her ex bf or her bf to get her to the doctor. Actually a child protection person could make her go, but only call them as a last resort.
2007-04-29 03:08:20 · answer #7 · answered by fourtsomething 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-12-05 01:35:21 · answer #8 · answered by declue 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to see a doctor for prenatal advise. Encourage her to get to one.
2007-04-29 02:59:06 · answer #9 · answered by mimegamy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋