so heres the problem ....
i split up with my x botfriend over a year ago, we have a beautiful 5 year old daughter. Now he is asking me to get back with him and i'm un sure of what to do. i do love him but i'm not convinced that he's changed. Part of the resson we split is that he was a regular peter pan(refusing to grow up and act responsible). what would you do?
is it best to let sleeping dogs lie? or should i give him another chance.
2007-04-28 20:13:03 · 11 answers · asked by battysuzzie 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You said that you still love him.. Most people can't say that about their ex's.. So.. If it is in your heart to give him a chance.. Go for it.. Just set the rules from the start.. Keep him on his toes until he proves to you that he is worthy of your companionship again..
2007-04-28 20:17:11 · answer #1 · answered by BigWashSr 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would sit down with him and have a talk and work out from reading between the lines whether things with him have changed.
If you were to decide to go back there then things would have to go REALLY slowly for a start because your daughter is a big part of this and her needs have to be put first.
Maybe you could go out on a date and start things off how you would a totally new relationship and make the time to get to know him again. You HAVE to draw a line under his past mistakes for you to begin something again. You can't throw things into his face from the past because you have allowed him the chance to get back into your life.
I think my advice is arrange a date and take it from there...
Good luck
2007-04-29 03:01:10 · answer #2 · answered by Yoga Wifey 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I also have a 5 year old daughter and my ex n and split for the same reasons.
Leave it, you and your kid are number one. he will not be able to contribute to the relationship and may even cause more probs and bring you down...
Its best to leave it and tell him its not the best thing for any of you. Tell him if he proves himself and grows up then maybe in the future there could be a chance, but still this could take years.
If in doubt, dont do it! if you really knew it was right you wouldnt be here asking us! You do have doubts and for good reasons...
Listen to your instincts...
Good luck
2007-04-28 20:19:48 · answer #3 · answered by Kira 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You'll find that most blokes do have a "peter pan" side...I still do at 38, not making excuses for your ex. However he would have to prove that he can act responsible in order to bring up your daughter and to provide you with a loving stable relationship.
2007-04-28 20:19:01 · answer #4 · answered by Mark C 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't do it. You go about your life and he'll go about his... separately. The only bond you should have with him is your daughter.
People who are immature can't just magically be at the level of maturity that is expected of them. Responsibility and growing up are kind of important things. If you didn't have a daughter, I might say to give it another shot... but I wouldn't tangle up the emotions (all three of you). Let's say you broke it off again -- it'd devistate your daughter, would it not? And seeing him be lazy isn't a good example for her, either. I understand your love for him might be strong, but your love for your daughter should prevail.
2007-04-28 20:22:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
only you can answer that question. ask yourself, how much do you love him that you're willing to give him a second chance? and with it comes the consequence that he might hurt you again?
sometimes, the beauty of loving is the risks we take. it is a gamble, of our emotions, of what we might feel, of what we might have become. relationships are boring without the gambles, without the risks, because you will only live in a world of "what-ifs?" because you didn't try, because you didn't give love, in your case, a second chance.
if you really love him, you'll give him a chance. sometimes, loving should not require expecting somebody to change for us. we love them simply because we do, period.
isn't love crazy???!!
2007-04-28 20:20:23 · answer #6 · answered by pinkdot 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DO NOT GO BACK, you will regret it I promise you that. I know a promise from a complete stranger probably doesn't mean much but I am telling you the truth and my promise is honest.
2007-04-28 20:43:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are not sure. When in doubt say no. Wait some more. What you got to lose? Your sanity?
2007-04-28 20:16:07 · answer #8 · answered by beachgirl90 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him one shot and that is all,l tell him this is how it is going to be, take it or leave And see how it goes I wish you LUCK
2007-04-28 20:21:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he really wants to get back with you,he'll show you how much he's changed, if your not sure,hold off or go very slowly until you feel comfortable....n if he aint happy with that, then he aint changed
2007-04-29 05:29:06 · answer #10 · answered by Supergirl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋