He always accuses me of going and doing bad things when all i do is stay at home with our kids and he is the one that stays out with his buddies.
2007-04-28 19:31:28 · 12 answers · asked by AMY 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My ex-boyfriend did that to me as well. Here is the honest bottem line truth. The guilty tend to accuse people of doing things that either they themselves are doing, or they can even accuse people of things that they aren't doing but they are doing something wrong so feel the need to place blame on someone for what they did. He wants to believe that you did something wrong so that he doesn't have to live with the guilt of whatever it is he did while he was gone, he figures if he can think that you did wrong then you can't say anything if you find out what he did, it's kind of like and even-up thing. He knows that you don't do anything but that doesn't matter, he convinces himself that you are just as guilty as he is.
2007-04-28 20:26:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a stay at home mom also and my fiance does the same thing. You two need to just talk it out and come up with a way for both of you to spend some time away from the kids. We take turns going out and that helps with the stress. He also needs to acknowledge that what happened in the past is just that, the past and that taking care of the kids is a full- time job and you need a day off too.
2007-04-29 02:40:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is just his method of upsetting you enough to stop you questioning his motives for constantly going out with his 'buddies'. Its an old reverse psychology trick that most people employ to cover their behaviour and there's every chance he's hiding the true nature of his outings. You could try and get him into relationship counselling which would be great to sort fairer ways of arguments between you, or maybe its time to question what your expectations in the relationship are and whether not they are being met. If they are no longer being met and you can't accept what he's offering you now , then it's time to look after yourself. Good luck.
2007-04-29 02:48:34 · answer #3 · answered by jellybeanmelbourne 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your's is an age old story. He won't change. The accusations will drive you nuts. More importantly, your kids.
You need to leave him. Easier said than done. Call your local YWCA/DV support group. DV is far more than just the physical. Learn more about his behavior, why & how it impacts the family. Then, make a rational choice that is best for you & the kids - a life that doesnt involve him.
2007-04-29 03:27:14 · answer #4 · answered by WILLIAM W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he who accuses,is usually he who is guilty,he don,'t wantany questions asked bout him...does he say his buddies,or do you know for a fact that he is with the guys, and do you know how guys are when out with the boys...?? Sounds like some soul searching needs to take place,,you need to have a talk with him,need to fix problem before it becomes, abusive,you and the kids will suffer and be affected by what goes on now,and worse later...if he truely loved you he would want to be there with the family...!! You have to think about ,you and your babies..
2007-04-29 02:48:04 · answer #5 · answered by Ed B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It isn't good that is the number one sign that he is cheating on you,when they cheat they always turn it around because they feel if they are doing it then you could be to.I no you don't believe your husband would do this to you right.Not only would he do it but doesn't feel any guilt for doing it.Go through his things and look on his computer,see if he has pass words that you don't no.When he is asleep check his phone and see if there are any extra keys on his key ring don't
forget his car men like to hind things there make sure you check the truck of the car,even where the spare tier is.Don't ever underestimate your husband and what he is capable of when your not around.
2007-04-29 04:26:08 · answer #6 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is trying to play a head game. I know this particular man. He is trying to accuse you of something so that the attention will be diverted off what he is doing. Get someone to follow his ***, and catch him doing what he is accusing you of. Good luck
2007-04-29 02:37:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Throw up the future!
Dump the turd! He accuses you to throw your argument off balance. Then you have to defend yourself, instead of questioning his priorities. Duct tape him to a rocket and blast his *** sky high! LOL My ex-husband was very controlling, too. The image of him rocketing into space made me laugh, and helped me get through a tough time.
2007-04-29 02:40:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't! Fact is fact, insecurity is part of human nature, especially if this something has happened before. If you love and are committed, then let it go. Take care of yourself and kids, don't force. You have to be able to accept the enevitable. If not you will fail the kids.
2007-04-29 02:42:38 · answer #9 · answered by garlin104300 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like an issue of insecurity.. That or he has something to hide so he's putting it off on you. Simply don't take it... If it causes you that much undue stress, get rid of him. Find someone who will trust you and not search so hard to find a reason not to trust you.
2007-04-29 02:39:10 · answer #10 · answered by Vincent C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋